Have you ever apologized for something that you have no idea what it is, and for doing absolutely nothing wrong?
Strange feeling...
No.
No, I never did, but I apologized several times for something I did not do, but rather took responsabilty for it, for avoiding a useless fight about it. Sometimes it is better this way.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 07, 2008, 08:17:28 PM
Have you ever apologized for something that you have no idea what it is, and for doing absolutely nothing wrong?
Maybe not always necessary to
apologize as such, but just say she is right, Elias.
The woman just always is, any resistance is futile. ;D
Q
Quote from: Que on January 08, 2008, 12:13:07 AM
Maybe not always neccessay to apologize as such, but just say she is right, Elias.
The woman just always is, any resistance is futile. ;D
Q
Also true..... ;D
Quote from: Harry on January 07, 2008, 11:53:05 PM
No, I never did, but I apologized several times for something I did not do, but rather took responsabilty for it, for avoiding a useless fight about it. Sometimes it is better this way.
I think this approach is most sensible: saves alot of headaches.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 07, 2008, 08:17:28 PM
Have you ever apologized for something that you have no idea what it is, and for doing absolutely nothing wrong?
Sorry.
No.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 07, 2008, 08:17:28 PM
Have you ever apologized for something that you have no idea what it is, and for doing absolutely nothing wrong?
Strange feeling...
E..L..I..A..S what exactly did you do to the lady?
marvin
Quote from: marvinbrown on January 08, 2008, 02:46:40 AM
E..L..I..A..S what exactly did you do to the lady?
marvin
Probably a indecent proposal, from her view.
Or Elias direct approach method...... ;D
Of course.
I'm English.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 07, 2008, 08:17:28 PM
Have you ever apologized for something that you have no idea what it is, and for doing absolutely nothing wrong?
Strange feeling...
yes: "ok ok i'm sorry [even though i have no clue about what. just shut up!!]"
If you have offended her, and don't wish her to be offended, it is reasonable to feel sorry for the offense. It doesn't mean you're sorry for what you said or did, it just means you're sorry that she's offended, which is probably perfectly true.
My next move, though, would be to ask why she felt offended.
Quote from: Mark G. Simon on January 08, 2008, 06:03:08 AM
If you have offended her, and don't wish her to be offended, it is reasonable to feel sorry for the offense. It doesn't mean you're sorry for what you said or did, it just means you're sorry that she's offended, which is probably perfectly true.
My next move, though, would be to ask why she felt offended.
"I'm sorry you were offended by what I said" is a non-apology. It basically says, "It's not my fault that you're nuts."
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 07, 2008, 08:17:28 PM
Have you ever apologized for something that you have no idea what it is, and for doing absolutely nothing wrong?
Strange feeling...
Yes. I broke up with her long ago. There is simply no good reason to put up with that sort of emotional abuse.
Quote from: Harry on January 07, 2008, 11:53:05 PM
No, I never did, but I apologized several times for something I did not do, but rather took responsabilty for it, for avoiding a useless fight about it. Sometimes it is better this way.
I don't agree. Honesty is one of the prime ingredients of a good marriage, and phony apologies are quite noticeable and disrespectful.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 07, 2008, 08:17:28 PM
Have you ever apologized for something that you have no idea what it is, and for doing absolutely nothing wrong?
Given what you've said, there's no way of knowing what you did, much less whether it's "wrong" or not. The first thing to do, I'd say, is to carefully review the situation in your mind once more, and see if she has a valid reason to be upset with you. The second thing is to try to talk things out. And then you have to decide how much the relationship is worth to you.
Quote from: Don on January 08, 2008, 07:38:04 AM
I don't agree. Honesty is one of the prime ingredients of a good marriage, and phony apologies are quite noticeable and disrespectful.
Agreed. If someone did that to me, I'd feel patronized.
In most situations to agree that you disagree may often be the best solution
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 07, 2008, 08:17:28 PM
Have you ever apologized for something that you have no idea what it is, and for doing absolutely nothing wrong?
No, I'd feel very stupid to apologize for something that I have no idea what it is, and I suspect she would agree with my feeling.
Maybe you're lacking a fundamental level of verbal comunication and/or you're living a totally platonic relationship.
Firstly I'd try to collect informations on what I did wrong.
You can ask and if she appears to be particularly reticent, you can resort to persuasive techniques:
(http://www.channel4.com/news/microsites/T/torture/images/pic-2010350.jpg)
(Hey, I'm kidding ;D )
By the way I know myself and I'm quite certain I would never apologize for something I consider "nothing wrong". At least, not after the third rendezvous :D
Quote from: head-case on January 08, 2008, 07:21:25 AM
"I'm sorry you were offended by what I said" is a non-apology. It basically says, "It's not my fault that you're nuts."
"I'm sorry you were offended by what I said" is only the beginning of the discussion, of course. The real point of the discussion is to find out what it is that is offending her. People see things very differently. What may seem like an obvious infraction to her may be totally invisible to you. You have to assume that she had a reason for saying she was offended, and you need to find out what it was. Only then can you evaluate the validity of her complaint. If you don't value her enough to try to see things from her perspective you shouldn't be with her at all.
It also follows that she should try to see things from your perspective, and should respect you if you can come up with a reasonable explanation why she should not be taking offence.
Whatever you do, do not say "I'm sorry for what I did that upset you." If you do, the conversation is likely to proceed as follows:
Her: What exactly did you do?
You: Uhhh..... ???
Her: You don't even know what you did, do you?!?!
You: No, please tell me.
Her: If you can't figure it out, I'm not telling you! >:(
It's possible that you did something to upset her without being aware that it upset her. You first need to try to figure out what has upset her and go from there.
Quote from: Keemun on January 08, 2008, 08:54:46 AM
Whatever you do, do not say "I'm sorry for what I did that upset you." If you do, the conversation is likely to proceed as follows:
Her: What exactly did you do?
You: Uhhh..... ???
Her: You don't even know what you did, do you?!?!
You: No, please tell me.
Her: If you can't figure it out, I'm not telling you! >:(
This last line is a clear roadblock to communication. The proper response is probably "Well let me know when you're ready to tell me" and then find the first opportunity to leave.
Its a lovely and at the same time difficult entity, women, but I love them, so I aim to please.... 8)
My husband is never wrong about anything ever! I must side with Harry...go with the flow.
I guess you want to know the situation. I missed some phone calls (take me now satan, only someone with a black heart could miss a phone call) and I guess she felt like I was ignoring her. She asks me why I was hiding from her and I guess this is where I always make that gender mad, I made a dumb joke.. I said it's part of hide and go seek, I'm supposed to hide and your supposed to find me, but I picked a really good spot and you left me in the cold like an ass. Blah blah blah angry words blah blah...apparently this action erased the entire past and I don't care for her...blah blah ext...
Quote
Her: What exactly did you do?
You: Uhhh..... Huh?
Her: You don't even know what you did, do you?!?!
You: No, please tell me.
Her: If you can't figure it out, I'm not telling you! Angry
Yes it was mainly about me not knowing what I did wrong. I guess it was that I was wearing 2 different colored socks on the first monday in January while dancing like an Irishman.
It's good to keep in mind that women aren't some foreign entity. They're human, just like guys.
Quote from: Don on January 08, 2008, 12:18:23 PM
It's good to keep in mind that women aren't some foreign entity. They're human, just like guys.
I have my doubts.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 08, 2008, 12:19:18 PM
I have my doubts.
And that's a problem you need to correct if you ever want to have satisfying relationships with members of the opposite sex. So get on with it and have a great life.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 08, 2008, 12:11:46 PM
I made a dumb joke..
That, my friend, was your mistake. You basically told her that you didn't take her feelings seriously.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 08, 2008, 12:11:46 PM
apparently this action erased the entire past and I don't care for her...
Perhaps all is not lost. Once you make a proper apology for your joke and explain to her why you were not ignoring her (assuming this is the case), she may forgive you and the two of you can move on. :)
In the past I did not apologize for things like that, but since I'm older and weaker these days, I shamefully did...
On a lighter note here is a video I've called Elias and the oranges :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/YZ0yKidXZBA
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 08, 2008, 03:36:40 PM
On a lighter note here is a video I've called Elias and the oranges :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/YZ0yKidXZBA
i love when you point to the camera, best part, especially at the end.
like an orange-eating rock star....
Quote from: Don on January 08, 2008, 12:18:23 PM
It's good to keep in mind that women aren't some foreign entity. They're human, just like guys.
I think it's good to keep in mind that women, while human, aren't
just like guys.
Quote from: Josquin des Prez on January 09, 2008, 05:40:36 PM
I think it's good to keep in mind that women, while human, aren't just like guys.
I don't particularly get along with or understand other guys in my age group. They are even worse than women because they feel showing any emotion isn't manly except maybe anger or being horny. Conversation about disgusting sexual acts grosses me out and makes me think to much whenever I look at a woman. Sure she is attractive, but that probably means shes done even more disgusting acts.
Yes, sometimes I must apologise for things that my girlfriend suffers in her school. I have nothing to do with it, I am not a teacher, but I understand her stress. It is normal that people express his stress against those who are most intimate.
She works to much in her school, she is the director, so I am here to pay.
But that doesn't matter. She is an wonderful person. Not only a girlfriend but also my best friend. Five minutes of stress are nothing compared to the intelligent and tender woman I have the luck to live with.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 09, 2008, 08:27:52 PM
I don't particularly get along with or understand other guys in my age group. They are even worse than women because they feel showing any emotion isn't manly except maybe anger or being horny. Conversation about disgusting sexual acts grosses me out and makes me think to much whenever I look at a woman. Sure she is attractive, but that probably means shes done even more disgusting acts.
nicely put!
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 08, 2008, 12:11:46 PM
I guess you want to know the situation. I missed some phone calls (take me now satan, only someone with a black heart could miss a phone call) and I guess she felt like I was ignoring her. She asks me why I was hiding from her and I guess this is where I always make that gender mad, I made a dumb joke.. I said it's part of hide and go seek, I'm supposed to hide and your supposed to find me, but I picked a really good spot and you left me in the cold like an ass. Blah blah blah angry words blah blah...apparently this action erased the entire past and I don't care for her...blah blah ext...
It sounds like she's a wee bit insecure. If you know her well you might have already gotten a sense of this, and would know whether or not a joke was appropriate to defuse the tension. If you don't know her well this may be your first encounter with her insecurity, in which case it would be safer to reassure her that you are not avoiding her. Follow that up by making sure to answer her calls promptly, and if she still gives you grief, look for someone else.
What a clever girl she was I nicely told her to go to hell. While I was in a good mood she apologized to me by saying I forgive you in a certain tone...and I was like great. But then I thought to myself wait a minute...I forgive you? what the hell did i do to deserve forgiveness? Clever girl...Im done.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 10, 2008, 01:35:11 PM
What a clever girl she was I nicely told her to go to hell. While I was in a good mood she apologized to me by saying I forgive you in a certain tone...and I was like great. But then I thought to myself wait a minute...I forgive you? what the hell did i do to deserve forgiveness? Clever girl...Im done.
good thing you got out of that while you could ;D
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 09, 2008, 08:27:52 PM
Conversation about disgusting sexual acts grosses me out and makes me think to much whenever I look at a woman. Sure she is attractive, but that probably means shes done even more disgusting acts.
:o disgusting ?
I don't like talking about sex that much either, but sexual acts are disgusting ? ::)
You would have much less of the problems that you are having with girls now if they were "allowed" to act as freely sexually as boys
Quote from: orbital on January 11, 2008, 12:02:58 PM
You would have much less of the problems that you are having with girls now if they were "allowed" to act as freely sexually as boys
well, what'd happen is more accidental pregnancies and the guy would end up having to spend the rest of his life with someone he might not even care for, or there'd be more single mothers, and i think those problems would be much worse.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 09, 2008, 08:27:52 PM
I don't particularly get along with or understand other guys in my age group. They are even worse than women because they feel showing any emotion isn't manly except maybe anger or being horny. Conversation about disgusting sexual acts grosses me out and makes me think to much whenever I look at a woman. Sure she is attractive, but that probably means shes done even more disgusting acts.
Get a grip! Thinking that sexual acts are disgusting will only lead to reduced quality of life. We are talking about primitive urges that are natural and need to be released. Start releasing!
Quote from: 僕はグレグ (Greg) on January 11, 2008, 12:08:50 PM
well, what'd happen is more accidental pregnancies and the guy would end up having to spend the rest of his life with someone he might not even care for, or there'd be more single mothers, and i think those problems would be much worse.
Greg, this is the 21st century. Your chances of getting pregnant if properly (and very conveniently I should add) protected is zero, for all practical purposes. You don't seriously think the sexual oppression of girls/women is directly connected to the pregnancy risk do you?
Quote from: 僕はグレグ (Greg) on January 11, 2008, 12:08:50 PM
well, what'd happen is more accidental pregnancies and the guy would end up having to spend the rest of his life with someone he might not even care for, or there'd be more single mothers, and i think those problems would be much worse.
Greg:
You've brought up this theme before, but there are two considerations you need to remember. One is a little item called "protection", right? Secondly, a couple can have a very stimulating sexual encounter without any "entry" at all (you know what that's about?). So stop worrying, act smart and have some good sex.
Quote from: Don on January 11, 2008, 12:44:41 PM
Greg:
You've brought up this theme before, but there are two considerations you need to remember. One is a little item called "protection", right? Secondly, a couple can have a very stimulating sexual encounter without any "entry" at all (you know what that's about?). So stop worrying, act smart and have some good sex.
Quote from: orbital on January 11, 2008, 12:42:16 PM
Greg, this is the 21st century. Your chances of getting pregnant if properly (and very conveniently I should add) protected is zero, for all practical purposes. You don't seriously think the sexual oppression of girls/women is directly connected to the pregnancy risk do you?
i probably shouldn't say anything, since this is a subject i don't know much about and have little interest in anyways......
it just seems like i've heard of these "accidental pregnancies" before, so even though there's protection, not everyone is smart enough use it and get away with it......
on a lighter note (version 2.0), has anyone seen this ad yet?
you know how this works: eat a big plate of Chinese food, once a day! :D
Quote from: orbital on January 11, 2008, 12:02:58 PM
:o disgusting ?
I don't like talking about sex that much either, but sexual acts are disgusting ? ::)
You would have much less of the problems that you are having with girls now if they were "allowed" to act as freely sexually as boys
I didnt say sexual acts are disgusting, I said the particular actions that guys my age discuss are rather disgusting. If you need an example I'll give you one..
Quote from: Don on January 11, 2008, 12:38:51 PM
Get a grip! Thinking that sexual acts are disgusting will only lead to reduced quality of life. We are talking about primitive urges that are natural and need to be released. Start releasing!
Again, sex is not disgusting, but certain stories gross me out involving poop stained underwear, spraying girls in the face with man juice...and other stuff.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 11, 2008, 01:04:16 PM
spraying girls in the face with man juice...and other stuff.
makes you never want to kiss a girl ever.....
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 11, 2008, 01:04:16 PM
Again, sex is not disgusting, but certain stories gross me out involving poop stained underwear, spraying girls in the face with man juice...and other stuff.
Understood. I was puzzled about this :
Quote
Sure she is attractive, but that probably means shes done even more disgusting acts.
Otherwise, I agree some men like to talk about sex all day long and I am not particularly interested in talking about the subject and I hardly ever participate. I don't even hang out with 'guys' specifically for that reason, women I find infinitely more interesting ;D
But in any case, there are myriads of sexual preferences and all are equally valid as long as they are done in full consent. What happens in worst case is you meet a girl, you can't get along sexually, you split up, not a big deal really.
Quote from: 僕はグレグ (Greg) on January 11, 2008, 12:59:42 PM
it just seems like i've heard of these "accidental pregnancies" before, so even though there's protection, not everyone is smart enough use it and get away with it......
Your "get away with it" speaks volumes about your mindset concerning sex. Well, you're still young and have lots to learn. I predict success for you.
Find a same-sex partner: there's no pregnancy risk and very little estrogen involved!
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 11, 2008, 01:04:16 PM
Again, sex is not disgusting, but certain stories gross me out involving poop stained underwear, spraying girls in the face with man juice...and other stuff.
As long as the participants engaged in these activities are willing and able, all is fine. By the way, oral sex is likely practiced by most adult couples; I have no idea about teenage couples these days.
Quote from: Morigan on January 11, 2008, 01:14:59 PM
Find a same-sex partner: there's no pregnancy risk and very little estrogen involved!
There you go - an excellent reason to choose a gay life-style. ::)
Maybe not pregnancy, but disease is very possible. Most people don't protect themselves when they have oral sex.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 11, 2008, 01:18:06 PM
Maybe not pregnancy, but disease is very possible. Most people don't protect themselves when they have oral sex.
Don't allow your life to be dominated by fear - go for the gusto!
Quote from: Morigan on January 11, 2008, 01:14:59 PM
Find a same-sex partner: there's no pregnancy risk and very little estrogen involved!
hilarious! :D
but seriously, you'd have to worry more about AIDS......
Quote from: Don on January 11, 2008, 01:16:22 PM
I have no idea about teenage couples these days.
you don't wanna know ;D
i swear, all throughout school, you hear one phrase several times a day, beginning with "Suck"...
and you don't wanna know what supposedly goes on in the bathrooms at school either...... funny stuff lol
Quote from: Don on January 11, 2008, 01:13:49 PM
Your "get away with it" speaks volumes about your mindset concerning sex. Well, you're still young and have lots to learn. I predict success for you.
well...... music is like sex, so i'd say i have a healthy sexual life and am quite learned ;D
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 11, 2008, 01:18:06 PM
Maybe not pregnancy, but disease is very possible. Most people don't protect themselves when they have oral sex.
i'm sure the Japanese do:
(http://gadgetcrunch.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/usb-face-mask.jpg)
Quote from: 僕はグレグ (Greg) on January 11, 2008, 01:27:15 PM
you don't wanna know ;D
i swear, all throughout school, you hear one phrase several times a day, beginning with "Suck"...
and you don't wanna know what supposedly goes on in the bathrooms at school either......
Sounds like my kind of school. Unfortunately, I grew up during the prudish years.
Quote from: E..L..I..A..S.. =) on January 11, 2008, 01:18:06 PM
Quote from: Morrigan =) on January 11, 2008, 01:18:06 PMFind a same-sex partner: there's no pregnancy risk and very little estrogen involved!
Maybe not pregnancy, but disease is very possible.
So...self-satisfying is the best way! It doesn't cause pregnancy, diseases, etc. Isn't that a brilliant idea? >:D
Quote from: orbital on January 11, 2008, 12:42:16 PM
Greg, this is the 21st century. Your chances of getting pregnant if properly (and very conveniently I should add) protected is zero, for all practical purposes.
I suspect Greg's chances of getting pregnant, whether protected or not, are zero regardless. :D
Quote from: Sforzando on January 16, 2008, 04:01:55 AM
I suspect Greg's chances of getting pregnant, whether protected or not, are zero regardless. :D
i hope so :-X
but why take the risk?... :D ;)