Fake Composers

[Crudblud]

I held a conference with my fellow fake composers and we found Mr Glass, er... wanting.

[zamyrabyrd]

PDQ Bach. Done for comedic purpose, but still not real.

I like his music even under a pseudonym.

ZB

[zamyrabyrd]

My former boss.
How I would LOVE to divulge his name, a clergyman no less, using church money to propagate his conceits.
I mean, where is Palestrina when you need him?
Worthy masses by great composers are not considered "liturgical", so make way for the clowns!
Some idiots think that putting dots on paper is "composing".
There is the element of acoustics which cannot be dispensed with.
Some people have a knack for it, do not need to be schooled as some artists.
Dispensing with proper voice leading (based on acoustics), how does one have the nerve to write tonal music particularly if it going to be in the style of Clementi?
Cringeworthy also are those who have urges to write Nocturnes, Mazurkas and Sonatinas.
No joke. I'd like to reveal their names as well. Ach!

ZB

[ahinton]

My former boss.
How I would LOVE to divulge his name, a clergyman no less, using church money to propagate his conceits.
I mean, where is Palestrina when you need him?
Worthy masses by great composers are not considered "liturgical", so make way for the clowns!
Some idiots think that putting dots on paper is "composing".
There is the element of acoustics which cannot be dispensed with.
Some people have a knack for it, do not need to be schooled as some artists.
Dispensing with proper voice leading (based on acoustics), how does one have the nerve to write tonal music particularly if it going to be in the style of Clementi?
Cringeworthy also are those who have urges to write Nocturnes, Mazurkas and Sonatinas.
No joke. I'd like to reveal their names as well. Ach!

Then why not do so? I'm sure that it would spark more than a modicum of interest around these parts...

[Mister Sharpe]

I held a conference with my fellow fake composers and we found Mr Glass, er... wanting.

Apostasy! (Punishable by listening to more Philip Glass, until you like it...)

[Mister Sharpe]

Richard Nanes. OMG - brings back strange memories. When these Lp's en cd's turned up in Belgium, I was at first exited: a new Copland. Or Barber??? Quelle deception!

[relm1]

Rosemary Brown.  She's that spiritualist who was visited by the ghosts of Brahms, Beethoven and others to complete their lost works.

[zamyrabyrd]

Then why not do so? I'm sure that it would spark more than a modicum of interest around these parts...

I don't want to give him publicity although he has plenty in his home country of Italy where he has been promoting himself. What I might say about him could be construed as defamation. What I think about him is even worse, so it is difficult for me to control myself.

[Crudblud]

Apostasy! (Punishable by listening to more Philip Glass, until you like it...)

He was a little bit too real for us, if you catch my drift.

[Karl Henning]

No fan of Mr. Glass' work(s) myself -- at all -- nonetheless, he is a real composer.

+ 1

[Christo]

Richard Nanes. OMG - brings back strange memories. When these Lp's en cd's turned up in Belgium, I was at first exited: a new Copland. Or Barber??? Quelle deception!

Had the same experience!~

[Karl Henning]

Man, one almost needs to be scrubbed clean just after seeing that cover.

[Christo]

Van den Budenmayer, who was created by both Krzysztof Kieslowski and Zbigniew Preisner in various Kieslowski films.

I was going to add his name, but saw your post in the last moment. Yes, Van den Budenmayer, to quote from Wikipedia, is a fictitious 18th-century Dutch composer created by Zbigniew Preisner and director Krzysztof Kieślowski for attributions in screenplays. Preisner said Van den Budenmayer is a pseudonym he and Kieślowski invented "because we both loved the Netherlands".

Music by this "Dutch composer" (actually, the name doesn't look Dutch at all to Dutch eyes, but rather a strange combination of 'Dutch' "Van den", always followed by a toponym, and 'German' Budenmayer, which doesn't look like a toponym at all, JS] plays a role in three [GREAT, JS] Kieślowski films: Dekalog (1988), Three Colours: Blue (1993) in which a theme from his musique funebres is quoted in the Song for the Unification of Europe; its E minor soprano solo is prefigured in the earlier film The Double Life of Veronique (1991), where circumstances in the story prevent the solo from finishing, and the third is Three Colours: Red (1994). 

[Christo]

Man, one almost needs to be scrubbed clean just after seeing that cover.

I bought his symphonies, with covers looking far more 'serious':

[snyprrr]

My former boss.
How I would LOVE to divulge his name, a clergyman no less, using church money to propagate his conceits.
I mean, where is Palestrina when you need him?
Worthy masses by great composers are not considered "liturgical", so make way for the clowns!
Some idiots think that putting dots on paper is "composing".
There is the element of acoustics which cannot be dispensed with.
Some people have a knack for it, do not need to be schooled as some artists.
Dispensing with proper voice leading (based on acoustics), how does one have the nerve to write tonal music particularly if it going to be in the style of Clementi?
Cringeworthy also are those who have urges to write Nocturnes, Mazurkas and Sonatinas.
No joke. I'd like to reveal their names as well. Ach!

ZB

ach du liebe!


That pretty much sums up the "attitude" of a Fake Composer. I wouldn't be surprised if some political agitator figured out- bolshevistically- to "write" a "revolutionary" piece of music that "sets the world on fire"...

Frankly, with enough incendiary prose, and blatantly pied-piper music, it could work...








have we mentioned Sir Paul yet? Again, he's not really even worth the bother to mention, BUT, technically, he does belong in this ignoble Thread.

of course

we have Nigel from Spinal Tap: 'Lick My Love Pump;

"...simple lines, interweaving..."

[snyprrr]

which reminds me of

DANZIG's Classical Album


I remember liking it... gulp... I'm afraid to recheck...




sooo... how does Vangelis fare in this Thread? Or Keith Emerson?... (I know, only one part of brain working right now) I'd be willing to give these guys a semi-pass, since I think that one of the criteria for this Thread is that there has to be some animus AGAINST said Fake Composer, for trying to pass themselves off as something Greater,... I don't know know who's attitude fits here...






ouch.... ELVIS COSTELLO, for flippity dingguhs...





I'm sorry if I'm dredging up bad memories for some folks.... THIS IS A DIRTY THREAD, watch where you step

[ritter]

John Borstlap, anyone? He does have his followers, it seems, but what I've listened to by him (on youtube) is beyond the pale (probably not enough so to call him a "fake composer", or perhaps yes?). His main claim to fame, neverthless, seems to be that whenever the name Boulez is mentioned on Norman Lebrecht's website, he'll inevitably immediately show up with the same, incoherent anti-Boulezian rant...

[Mahlerian]

John Borstlap, anyone? He does have his followers, it seems, but what I've listened to by him (on youtube) is beyond the pale (probably not enough so to call him a "fake composer", or perhaps yes?). His main claim to fame, neverthless, seems to be that whenever the name Boulez is mentioned on Norman Lebrecht's website, he'll inevitably immediately show up with the same, incoherent anti-Boulezian rant...

He also goes around Youtube making comments about how awful this or that modernist piece is.  He's created his own idiosyncratic definition of music, such that serial music and the post-war avant-garde are not music at all, but "sound art."  It would never occur to me to trawl the site looking for things to disparage, but apparently some (not just Borstlap) see it as a worthwhile activity.

He also seems to have written his own Wikipedia page.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Borstlap

The contributor who wrote this page has worked on nothing else.

[Monsieur Croche]

... how does one have the nerve to write tonal music particularly if it is going to be in the style of Clementi?  Cringeworthy also are those who have urges to write Nocturnes, Mazurkas and Sonatinas.
No joke. I'd like to reveal their names as well. Ach!
ZB

Then why not do so? I'm sure that it would spark more than a modicum of interest around these parts...

Unh - nnn- no!

Popping out credit / blame for these sort of comps would involve, on another music forum I know of, disclosing the names of nearly every poster in their member's composer section;  that could be somewhat the same if anyone were to single out the GMG composers who post their work here. 

There is a line between bluntness and the compromise of withholding comment in order to keep a community civil, let alone without going to the more PC area of thinking about hurting the feelings of others.

Littering the internet in abundance, there is plenty of newly-composed original music that is well-written (or far less than well-written) that is completely derivative / imitative of earlier era classical style(s) and / or generic music in more current popular style(s).

Youtube, Soundcloud, sundry music fora; wherever there is a free and / or inexpensive outlet -- without any of the more usual filters of professional criticism prior its actually being accepted for performance, recording, or public exposure -- you can readily find tons of exactly the sort of music mentioned in ZB's post.  Singling out these composers, many who are members of a forum who have placed their comps in that forum's category for current comps, would be highly impolitic, as well as being, if you care about it, simply hurtful.


Best regards.

[Ken B]

Remo Giazotto

THREAD WINNER!