Dating or not dating.

[Mirror Image]

Hah! Well, Nik I'm not quite the ladies man like you are, so two phones is definitely out of the question. Plus, I couldn't even fathom having two separate phone bills regardless of how much they cost me per month. I know this guy at my work who has two phones and he's far from a ladies man nor is he married or in a serious relationship, so each time he gets out one of his phones from one of his pockets, I just raise my eyebrow and when he leaves I laugh a little.

I might go out with this lady, but it most definitely would have to be on my own terms and not hers. Plus, I'd have to just put out there that this could never be anything serious. Nothing wrong with fooling around a bit.

Yes, get the McNuggets ready and if she likes the BBQ sauce, make sure you supply her with plenty of that as well. Got to keep Blulabelle happy ya know.

[NikF]

I rarely carry one phone with me never mind two. Most people know to email me because I check my account a couple of times a day .

Yeah, just make it clear to her from the outset. And remember that you're in control and can change your mind any time you want. It's not like you're signing a contract that you can't get out of. It's all good.

[greg]

In my corner of the world, I was hit on by a 21 year old yesterday and she was quite attractive, but she's just too young. She might as well have stripped right in front of me when she said things like "I'm tired of cooking at home, do you know any good places to eat?" or "I'm alone for the next couple of nights as my roommates are both out of town," and, finally, when she repeated her name to me several times and said "Don't forget my name is..." So, yeah, if only she was at least 28 or so I definitely would have gone to dinner with her that night or tonight. She also made it a point to tell me she'll definitely be back in the store again and will stop by to see me.

OMG. John, are you crazy? Go for it!


(btw, in 7 years she will 28)

I seriously don't understand how you don't see early 20's as anything other than an ideal age. You can explain, but I still will never understand.

[SurprisedByBeauty]

OMG. John, are you crazy? Go for it!


(btw, in 7 years she will 28)

I seriously don't understand how you don't see early 20's as anything other than an ideal age. You can explain, but I still will never understand.

Let's have Louis CK explain it, instead. 

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4jr4g5

I get it, to an extent -- but it obviously very much depends on personality and shared interests.

[greg]

Let's have Louis CK explain it, instead. 

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4jr4g5

I get it, to an extent -- but it obviously very much depends on personality and shared interests.

Some of his stuff I've found funny, but that one I believe I've seen before all I can say is fuck that shit. And I mean it with the utmost sincerity. Just understanding "oh, that's how the world works" or "oh, that's life", etc. will not make you a happy little corporate slave, no matter what age you are. Actually, it can only make someone more depressed. Just fuck that shit, from the bottom of my heart. Glad I don't have a job like that any more and have to deal with people that just don't get it.

And you know, people from many other countries aren't even encouraged at all to work when they finish school, but rather are expected to focus solely on school. For example, the people from India that I work with did not work while in college and weren't expected to. And I hear it's the same way in Northern Europe. Just dumb redneck culture that values mindless work more than knowledge or happiness.

Not really sure what that has to do with relationships, but... yeah, shared interests and compatible personalities are the way to go.

[Mirror Image]

OMG. John, are you crazy? Go for it!


(btw, in 7 years she will 28)

I seriously don't understand how you don't see early 20's as anything other than an ideal age. You can explain, but I still will never understand.

And I'll be 41. Doesn't really help me much. But, seriously, my first impression of her seems to be she's quite mature for her age. She's a senior in college and told me she only had two classes left before she graduates. She's a construction management major and mentioned she has quite an interest in building roads. She's got just the right amount of weirdness for me, too, but I'm not really sure why I have a mental block against dating someone 10-15 years younger than me.

[Ken B]

And I'll be 41. Doesn't really help me much. But, seriously, my first impression of her seems to be she's quite mature for her age. She's a senior in college and told me she only had two classes left before she graduates. She's a construction management major and mentioned she has quite an interest in building roads. She's got just the right amount of weirdness for me, too, but I'm not really sure why I have a mental block against dating someone 10-15 years younger than me.

When I was 30 I went on a date with a 21 year old, possibly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. But 21 was too young. I didn't ask her again (and I doubt she would have wanted me to). The difference between 21 and 28 is vast.

[Mirror Image]

When I was 30 I went on a date with a 21 year old, possibly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. But 21 was too young. I didn't ask her again (and I doubt she would have wanted me to). The difference between 21 and 28 is vast.

Indeed. It's just hard for me to get on the level of someone younger than me now.

[NikF]

You're over thinking this.

Go out and have some fun. That is, go out and have some fun in the moment.
You're not being asked to put yourself in a position or situation you can't get out of. And even if you went on a date and within the first five minutes you discover you've made a huge mistake, you can walk away and no harm has been done.

If it feels good, do it again. If it doesn't feel good, don't do it again.

[Mirror Image]

You're over thinking this.

Go out and have some fun. That is, go out and have some fun in the moment.
You're not being asked to put yourself in a position or situation you can't get out of. And even if you went on a date and within the first five minutes you discover you've made a huge mistake, you can walk away and no harm has been done.

If it feels good, do it again. If it doesn't feel good, don't do it again.

You're absolutely right, Nik. I'm just overthinking things like I always do. A lot of the time I end up being my own worst enemy.

[NikF]

You're absolutely right, Nik. I'm just overthinking things like I always do. A lot of the time I end up being my own worst enemy.

We're all our worst enemy sometimes. It's natural. The problem for a lot of guys is that they're never self-aware enough or that they simply don't like to admit they're wrong, and so as a result they let it trip them up time and time again and it holds them back from living the life they want. But that's not the case here. 

Never underestimate the simple pleasure to be found in stuff like sitting opposite a pretty, attractive, interesting, feminine face that's wittering away about everything/nothing over a cup of coffee. It is what it is.
In any case, take it easy.

[Mirror Image]

Yep, that's certainly true, Nik.

[NikF]

"You are far, far too confident - and I'm not sure how I feel about that." http://www.good-music-guide.com/community/index.php/topic,26059.msg1046570.html#msg1046570




I'm sure that some time ago I spoke with the Sarge (and I think, North Star) about the value in continuing after you've got the shot(s) in the bag. This was the case here. She was posed by the window and although I can't remember exactly, she was complaining that some dude outside was walking back and forth and looking at her or something.

(Techie in case you're interested: one of my go to improvised setups that I've shown before. The key is via the window, but on camera left there's a light coloured door that opens in to the room and it's angled to provide a bit of fill in lieu of another light.
Again, sorry for a crappy cellphone photo of a print.)

[Sergeant Rock]

I'm sure that some time ago I spoke with the Sarge (and I think, North Star) about the value in continuing after you've got the shot(s) in the bag. This was the case here. She was posed by the window and although I can't remember exactly, she was complaining that some dude outside was walking back and forth and looking at her or something.

(Techie in case you're interested: one of my go to improvised setups that I've shown before. The key is via the window, but on camera left there's a light coloured door that opens in to the room and it's angled to provide a bit of fill in lieu of another light.
Again, sorry for a crappy cellphone photo of a print.)

Lovely shot of a beautiful woman. Coincidently, one of the next batch of photos I want to show you includes an almost identical pose from my model. Technically, very different though.

Sarge

[Sergeant Rock]

....but I'm not really sure why I have a mental block against dating someone 10-15 years younger than me.

When I was 30 I went on a date with a 21 year old, possibly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. But 21 was too young. I didn't ask her again (and I doubt she would have wanted me to). The difference between 21 and 28 is vast.

If I had thought that way 42 years ago, Mrs. Rock and I wouldn't be celebrating our 40th anniversary this month. Sometimes May-December relationships work out just fine. Give it a chance, John. One date couldn't hurt. If nothing else, you'll have, just like Ken, a story to tell the youngsters on the forum 

Sarge

[Mirror Image]

If I had thought that way 42 years ago, Mrs. Rock and I wouldn't be celebrating our 40th anniversary this month. Sometimes May-December relationships work out just fine. Give it a chance, John. One date couldn't hurt. If nothing else, you'll have, just like Ken, a story to tell the youngsters on the forum 

Sarge

Thanks, Sarge. If I see her again, I'll definitely ask her out.

[NikF]

Lovely shot of a beautiful woman. Coincidently, one of the next batch of photos I want to show you includes an almost identical pose from my model. Technically, very different though.

Sarge

Cheers, Sarge. And I look forward to viewing the next batch of your work.

[Rinaldo]

I seriously don't understand how you don't see early 20's as anything other than an ideal age. You can explain, but I still will never understand.

People are, y'know, different.

Last September, I briefly dated a wonderful girl I've become quite enamored with – I knew she was much younger than me and kept my feelings platonic but our paths eventually crossed in a way that made us give it a try.  She's an amazing person, intelligent and creative and beautiful to boot, but It. Just. Didn't. Work. I was 34, she was 21 and it felt like dating a younger sister. I couldn't bring myself to respect her as an equal. So there. But it's not about the age difference itself, it's always about the people involved / the timing of that involvement. Meeting her ten years later, the story might've been completely different, who knows.

[greg]

People are, y'know, different.

Last September, I briefly dated a wonderful girl I've become quite enamored with – I knew she was much younger than me and kept my feelings platonic but our paths eventually crossed in a way that made us give it a try.  She's an amazing person, intelligent and creative and beautiful to boot, but It. Just. Didn't. Work. I was 34, she was 21 and it felt like dating a younger sister. I couldn't bring myself to respect her as an equal. So there. But it's not about the age difference itself, it's always about the people involved / the timing of that involvement. Meeting her ten years later, the story might've been completely different, who knows.

From my perspective: I'm just looking at John's situation, and IMO the girl looks cute, but second-guessing it before he even knows her is just baffling. The ultimate, ideal way of connecting with a girl for me is for the girl to make the first move. That's happened a few times with me, but they either weren't attractive, or they were attractive and other reasons prevented anything from happening. I would certainly not throw away the opportunity, but give it a try for sure.

And it sounds like your reasons are a bit different than his, because he's mentioning emotional/intelligence difference, when that really has nothing to do with age, but everything to do with a person's capacity to learn and grow, which is exhibited usually at a young age. Sounds like the feeling like you're dating your younger sister turned you off too much to continue. Well... everyone has their own tastes. That wouldn't bother me much, personally.

Perhaps I associate youth with a curious and eager to learn mind and middle aged and older adults as more set in their ways? (and wow, do i prefer the former by a long shot)

[NikF]

I've two tickets to hear Oundjian/RSNO performing Brahms 4 in Edinburgh on Friday. It doesn't appeal to my little blue haired friend and so I'm thinking of trying to get a date for it. I could get a date, but I'd like it to be a date with someone I don't already know and who is cool. There's next to no chance of success, but it's worth a try.