Foods that should be banished to hell...

[Gurn Blanston]

Watermelon. One of the most pointless fruits every to grow on God's earth. Full of seeds, and tastes like nothing.

Wherever you get your watermelon from, Mark, you need to change vendors. OUR watermelons (grown right here) are rich, juicy and bursting with flavor. And no seeds either. My company had a truck scale at one time, and when we were working nights, in the summer we would do "courtesy weighs" for produce trucks. In return they would pitch us out some field fresh melons and we would sit up all night eating them. In the morning there would be nothing left but a box of rinds, a bunch of sticky shirts, and full bladders (the local name "piss-chunks" is quite appropriate   ).

How can anyone not like olives?   The stuff of life!  Big green boys, stuffed with pimentos. Yum! 

[Gurn Blanston]

Of course - eating pizza daily decreases your risk of Parkison's by 15%.

Cold pizza and warm beer: Breakfast of Champions!   

[Solitary Wanderer]

Green & orange vegetables

[M forever]

England has a 'cuisine' all to its own. It's not that it's bad - it's just different. Mind you, in the 1700s, English cuisine ranked the highest in Europe ... or so I read somewhere years ago. Hard to believe, really.

That's not hard, it's impossible to believe, really. Wasn't it Wilde who said something like "English people aren't going to hell because they already experienced it through their cooking" or something vaguely similar?

[Saul]

In no particular order...

Sweet pickles / relish: It's not that I dislike the taste; it's that the mere thought of it sends chills of horror and revulsion down my spine.

Horseradish / wasabe: Ugh! I love spicy foods, but this tastes like some vile industrial solvent intended to remove crap from metal surfaces or something. I understand REAL wasabe is a whole different affair than the green horseradish served at mediocre sushi joints. Sushi has such a wonderful delicate, subtle flavor, why would you want to pour this crap over it? It would be like going to Chez Panisse and pouring tabasco sauce over everything.

Dijon mustard: I guess this could go under the horseradish category. The clever marketing campaign by Grey Poop-on in the 80s that featured rich, polo-playing snots asking each other (from the back of their limousines), "Would you have any Grey Poop-on?" duped hoardes of gullible Americans (and Canadians, no doubt!) into thinking they had found another opportunity to buy some instant culture to go with their equally snotty and horrible "Perrier" water. Serves 'em right I guess. French's Mustard for me!!

Tripe / menudo: Not to offend any Mexicans here, but this stuff smells horribly strange and has the texture and feel of pure fat. My wife and her family (of Mexican ancestry) cook up this vile brew on special occasions. Like other Mexican people, they seem to afford a special reverence to this stuff. I love other Mexican food but draw the line at this stuff. My wife tells me that you have to grow up with it to enjoy it.

White chocolate: Blech! Is this even food?

Biscotti: WOOF! Gourmet Italian dog biscuits.

Water chestnuts: "You like some styrofoam to go with your chow mein?"

Durian: This must be a joke. Have you ever smelled this "fruit"?

Tofu: The yuppie, yoga, Lu-Lu Lemon set would have you believe that this food is the holy grail and should be eaten in lieu of everything. I hate it. It tastes like the squishy brain of some poor, dead little animal.

I cant believe you're so generous... you wanna have the bad boys up there to become fat boys?

They'll be more then delighted to consume real food rather then the hellfire they're having 3 times a day...

[uffeviking]

Big green boys, stuffed with pimentos. Yum! 

Green olives stuffed with pimentos is for girlymen, real men eat the ones stuffed with garlic!  

[Hollywood]

Rhubarb! 

[Bonehelm]

Humans?

Sorry, just finished watching the Red Dragon on the local TV channel, that's all...

[Kullervo]

Humans?

Sorry, just finished watching the Red Dragon on the local TV channel, that's all...

Ubloobidieega? I thought you were banned.

[Bogey]

Deep fried Twinkies:

[Saul]

Deep fried Twinkies:

Yukk

[Novi]

Deep fried Twinkies:

Eww, that's gross.

On a similar note, deep fried Mars bars. They sell them at some chippies and fry them in the same vat of oil as their fish, battered savs, whatever. Absolutely foul.

[Papy Oli]

Eww, that's gross.

On a similar note, deep fried Mars bars. They sell them at some chippies and fry them in the same vat of oil as their fish, battered savs, whatever. Absolutely foul.

Deep Fried Haggis, anyone ? ...tried that once..not as bad as it sounds   

[LaciDeeLeBlanc]

Cole Slaw 

And even worse: Vienna Sausages 

[bhodges]

And even worse: Vienna Sausages 

Yes, those are pretty much an insult both to Vienna and to sausages.   

Look, I found a photo of a variation of Ants on a Log, but made with cream cheese instead of peanut butter.  Mm, doesn't this look even more appetizing?



--Bruce

[dtwilbanks]

Yes, those are pretty much an insult both to Vienna and to sausages.   

Look, I found a photo of a variation of Ants on a Log, but made with cream cheese instead of peanut butter.  Mm, doesn't this look even more appetizing?



--Bruce

They were being kind by calling it "Ants" on a Log.

[orbital]

Yes, those are pretty much an insult both to Vienna and to sausages.   

Look, I found a photo of a variation of Ants on a Log, but made with cream cheese instead of peanut butter.  Mm, doesn't this look even more appetizing?



--Bruce

OK, I've witheld this for quite some time, but now that you have posted this, I think the time for this catalogue has come 
http://www.aperfectworld.org/american_classics.htm

[BachQ]

Yes, those are pretty much an insult both to Vienna and to sausages.   

We wouldn't want to insult sausages ..........

[bhodges]

OK, I've witheld this for quite some time, but now that you have posted this, I think the time for this catalogue has come 
http://www.aperfectworld.org/american_classics.htm

Those are pretty sad!  Love the "Fonduloha" ("Next on the Sci-Fi Channel, Alien Autopsy").  I can't imagine anyone being served one of those and not bursting out laughing. 

--Bruce

[Mahlered]

Any kind of "cheese" that comes in individually wrapped squares and looks, feels, smells, and tastes like it might as well be the same plastic in which it's wrapped.