More Girl Problems

[ibanezmonster]

Are your parents that inflexible that they won't allow you to have a life outside of the house? I know you have to live with them right now, but jeez man it sounds like they need to get a grip and come to terms with the fact that you're not a kid anymore.

Basically.

Do you pay them rent or help them pay bills? If you do, then they need to understand that you're allowed to come and go as you please.

$180/month... so kinda. Kinda not going to get a better deal than that.

As for picking up women, you don't have to be good at it, you just have actually try. Rejection is a part of it, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you see a cute woman at a club again (if you go back), then don't be afraid to approach her. You should really be more confident in yourself. We'll all equal on this planet and no one is above anyone else unless you're a criminal, rapist, murderer, etc. Of course, I'm better you're better than those people.

It's not the confidence part- if I asked for a dozen phone numbers, then yeah, I'll probably get a couple. My fear just goes away knowing that if I'm rejected, I can ask someone else 2 minutes later. It's not like work, where you can go years at a time before finding anyone else interesting (it's been 5 years since I even asked anyone). Being rejected in that case means how many more years do I have to wait?

What I mean is that 1) I really don't know what to say to people; 2) I could ask someone to dance, which is the typical way of getting to know someone, but I don't dance. So if I ever went back one day I'd have to get those issues sorted out first. Though I don't plan to any time soon...

[Mirror Image]

Basically.
$180/month... so kinda. Kinda not going to get a better deal than that.



It's not the confidence part- if I asked for a dozen phone numbers, then yeah, I'll probably get a couple. My fear just goes away knowing that if I'm rejected, I can ask someone else 2 minutes later. It's not like work, where you can go years at a time before finding anyone else interesting (it's been 5 years since I even asked anyone). Being rejected in that case means how many more years do I have to wait?

What I mean is that 1) I really don't know what to say to people; 2) I could ask someone to dance, which is the typical way of getting to know someone, but I don't dance. So if I ever went back one day I'd have to get those issues sorted out first. Though I don't plan to any time soon...

You really don't know what to say but you can come to GMG and tell everyone your business? Such a contradiction. Just be yourself. Try to find common ground with a woman, but if you can't be yourself around her, then you need to find a woman you can be yourself around. The woman who can tolerate you and your crazy thoughts is the one for you.

[Rinaldo]

It's just ridiculous with my parents freaking out that I might have "drank or alcohol or had sex" because I got home so late. They can't even fall asleep until I get home. Basically, I'm 27 but have to live like I'm 17. If I even successfully picked up a girl, they would automatically hate her just because I met her in a club or a bar. So where exactly again do you meet women if not at work? Cause I could ask for more phone numbers in one night at a club than I could have 8 years of working at the same place.

Man, your situation sure is f'ed up. You don't have to live like you're 17. You're not supposed to live like you're 17. I don't know your parents and I certainly don't want to insult them in any way, but from what you've shared here, they're ruining your life.

[ibanezmonster]

Man, your situation sure is f'ed up. You don't have to live like you're 17. You're not supposed to live like you're 17. I don't know your parents and I certainly don't want to insult them in any way, but from what you've shared here, they're ruining your life.

They're hardcore conservative Christians, if that helps paint the picture a bit more. My brother has a "vow of purity until marriage" framed in his room. He turns 18 in a few weeks and hasn't dated anyone, so it will be interesting how it goes for him when he gets a job. It's not like he'd be able to bring a girl home and do anything lol. His only friends have been church friends for quite a few years now. And my parents basically never have friends over or do anything with anyone, and all of their friends are just from church, too. 

You really don't know what to say but you can come to GMG and tell everyone your business? Such a contradiction. Just be yourself. Try to find common ground with a woman, but if you can't be yourself around her, then you need to find a woman you can be yourself around. The woman who can tolerate you and your crazy thoughts is the one for you.

I mean just getting a conversation started isn't easy for me. I have no problem talking to people once I have something to talk about.

Starting a conversation at an anime convention would be super easy because people are dressed up and everyone is around interesting stuff to talk about- at a club or a bar, for me the only thing that comes to mind to say is, "HinormalpersonyoulooklikeanormalpersonmynameisGregIhopeyoureallyarenormaltoo." 

[listener]

I am not a very social person.  But I have found the easiest way to meet people is to join an interest group and be available for some of the backstage work, like setting up/putting away chairs, mailing committees that sort of thing.  You gradually get drawn into the more social side of things and also get to see who are dependable and who you want to avoid.
Arrive early for something that interests you and volunteer your help.  It gives you an excuse to get out of the house.

[ibanezmonster]

I am not a very social person.  But I have found the easiest way to meet people is to join an interest group and be available for some of the backstage work, like setting up/putting away chairs, mailing committees that sort of thing.  You gradually get drawn into the more social side of things and also get to see who are dependable and who you want to avoid.
Arrive early for something that interests you and volunteer your help.  It gives you an excuse to get out of the house.

Well, that's something to think about. Good ideas. 

They're hardcore conservative Christians, if that helps paint the picture a bit more. My brother has a "vow of purity until marriage" framed in his room. He turns 18 in a few weeks and hasn't dated anyone, so it will be interesting how it goes for him when he gets a job. It's not like he'd be able to bring a girl home and do anything lol. His only friends have been church friends for quite a few years now. And my parents basically never have friends over or do anything with anyone, and all of their friends are just from church, too. 

Oh, I have just have to add one more irrelevant thing.

I also hate how they are constantly saying stuff about one of my friends- suspecting that he smokes pot (ok, he went through a brief phase of experimenting) and that he isn't aiming anywhere right now for a career or school. If I set my standards so high that everyone has to be so squeaky clean and goal-oriented as me, I wouldn't have any friends (most friends I've had the last 5 years smoke pot occasionally). And what do expect, career-wise, when all of your friends come from the same workplace, which is retail? Some rich overachievers? 

Okay, I think I'm done...

[Rinaldo]

They're hardcore conservative Christians, if that helps paint the picture a bit more.

I thought as much. I'm from a Christian family myself but this is unfathomable to me.

The least you can do is take listener's advice to heart.

[Mirror Image]

So, I like this woman at work and I have a suspicion that she likes me as well. The only problem is she has two kids. She just moved to the area from Maine and I'm sure she doesn't know anyone, but I feel like I would be leading her on if I were to become involved with her because I'm not into women who have more than one kid. What should I do?

[TheGSMoeller]

So, I like this woman at work and I have a suspicion that she likes me as well. The only problem is she has two kids. She just moved to the area from Maine and I'm sure she doesn't know anyone, but I feel like I would be leading her on if I were to become involved with her because I'm not into women who have more than one kid. What should I do?

Ask her out. 

[Mirror Image]

Ask her out. 

I would love to, but, in the back of my mind, I couldn't imagine myself getting serious with her due to her having kids.

[ibanezmonster]

If you are only looking for something serious, don't... if you don't care about being serious or not, do? Idk...

[Ken B]

I would love to, but, in the back of my mind, I couldn't imagine myself getting serious with her due to her having kids.

Ask her out. Sell one kid on eBay.

[ibanezmonster]

I'm going to make sure every day to ask John if he asked her out yet until he does...

[Mirror Image]

That's the thing...I'd love to get serious with her (if we actually start to date), but the having kids part would really put a damper on things. I guess there's no harm in dating her with no intention of getting serious. Again, I would just hate to lead her on. She seems like a sweet person.

[Mirror Image]

Ask her out. Sell one kid on eBay.

I'm going to make sure every day to ask John if he asked her out yet until he does...

[Mirror Image]

I do have another prospect, but, with her, I'm afraid I'm just going to have to get some balls and ask her. She's VERY attractive and the few occasions we have spoken, she seems like a sweet, kind person and quiet, too. I do well with more quiet people it seems. I can get them to come out of their shell a bit more.

[Karl Henning]

Ask her out. Sell one kid on eBay.

But let her choose which. We call that empowernment.

[Sergeant Rock]

Ask her out. Sell one kid on eBay.

But let her choose which. We call that empowernment.

Yeah, MI should force her into a Sophie's choice situation. That always works out well.

Sarge

[Karl Henning]

Yeah, MI should force her into a Sophie's choice situation. That always works out well.

Sarge

Was re-watching Dead Poets Society last night (alone—cannot watch it with the missus, it would bum her out too awfully).  Watching afresh the scene where Neil deceives Keating (who probably only about half-believes it) into thinking that he did talk to Big Daddy, I very nearly spoke aloud the thought, Oh, this cannot end well, can it?

[Rinaldo]

Was re-watching Dead Poets Society last night (alone—cannot watch it with the missus, it would bum her out too awfully).  Watching afresh the scene where Neil deceives Keating (who probably only about half-believes it) into thinking that he did talk to Big Daddy, I very nearly spoke aloud the thought, Oh, this cannot end well, can it?

Speaking of Dead Poets, take notes, John!

https://www.youtube.com/v/8o7ZJElGjBM