Something amusing that I've just run across

[greg]

FELDMAN EFFECT

Child takes an exorbitant amount of time to say something completely banal.

[Steve]

But hopefully not contagious .......

We must hope.. I've spent too much time on that Elgar Thread. And yesterday, coincidently, WFMT (our classical station) was covering the music of Elgar...

[Josquin des Prez]

BRAHMS EFFECT
The child is able to speak beautifully as long as his sentences contain multiples of three words. However his sentences containing 4 or 8 words are strangely uninspired.

I must be stupid or something, but i don't get the reference. 

[greg]

hard for me to understand, too.....
but the way i interpret it is that his melodies often sound like there's 2 or 3 notes which are repeated at a time.

just listen to the first movement of the 2nd symphony, that's what i have in mind.

[Scriptavolant]

I thought it was a reference to the usage of ternary form (3/4, 3/8, 9/8, 3/2).

[karlhenning]

I thought it was a reference to the usage of ternary form (3/4, 3/8, 9/8, 3/2).

Those aren't ternary form . . . those are time signatures.

[Scriptavolant]

How is it called? Ternary tempo right? My musical theory book includes the signatures I've cited in the "Tempo ternario" category.

[Guido]

I think its his use of three and four bar phrases.

FELDMAN EFFECT:
child speaks so quietly and slowly that you're not sure which language he is speaking. Sometimes will present words in a random order and will invite you to order them in any way that you wish. Often speaks for hours and days at a time; the slower and quieter he speaks, the more profoud his musings are.

[karlhenning]

How is it called? Ternary tempo right? My musical theory book includes the signatures I've cited in the "Tempo ternario" category.

Triple meter in inglese.

There is also the distinction between 3/2 or 3/4 (simple triple meter) and 9/16 or 9/8 (compound triple meter).

[Scriptavolant]

Triple meter in inglese.

Trilple meter? Well, ternary tempo sounds definetely better, amico mio.

[The Mad Hatter]

BIRTWHISTLE EFFECT

Child spends considerable time drawing up charts and systems of speech, which eventually comes out as an indecipherable bawl.

MAHLER EFFECT

Child alternates spectacularly between the sublime and the banal.

[BachQ]

I think its his use of three and four bar phrases.

FELDMAN EFFECT:
child speaks so quietly and slowly that you're not sure which language he is speaking. Sometimes will present words in a random order and will invite you to order them in any way that you wish. Often speaks for hours and days at a time; the slower and quieter he speaks, the more profoud his musings are.

[Hector]

MAHLER EFFECT

Child alternates spectacularly between the sublime and the banal.

Now you've gone and done it. They'll be after you, now.

Never mind, at worse you could be forced to listen to Sinopoli's cycle which is more of the latter than the former.

Good thing you avoided any comment on Bruckner. That could have been really bloody!

Mozart is played at our unmanned railway stations and multi-storey car parks. It keeps the vandals and petty criminals away.

Can't see Mahler doing that, somehow.

[greg]

Can't see Mahler doing that, somehow.

Hehe 
(you know us thugs get off on Mahler)

[Larry Rinkel]

DITTERSDORF EFFECT
Child speaks in predictable simple sentences in subject-verb-object order, then speaks in more predictable simple sentences in subject-verb-object order.

CHOPIN EFFECT
Child's every utterance is highly sensuous, sweetly perfumed, slightly sickly; child will not live to old age.

BACH EFFECT
Child says one thing, then answers himself, then says something else, then carries on at least three and up to six conversations simultaneously all making perfect sense.

RAVEL EFFECT
Child opens mouth and sounds like a perfectly regulated, intricate Swiss watch.

BERLIOZ EFFECT
Child has red hair, is highly strung, and speaks perfect literate French even if born in rural Kentucky.

BEETHOVEN EFFECT
Child opens mouth and thunderbolts emerge.

[Haffner]

PAGANINI EFFECT:

Child is a self-absorbed conceit, with little patience for the whims of others. Can often be seen painting large images of himself on school furniture. Rumored to be endowed with super-human abilities.

Looks astonishingly like '70's comedy icon Flip Wilson. Permanent alibi "The Devil made me do it!"

[George]

Beethoven Effect - In spite of being born of a mean old man, child nevertheless learns to sublimate his anger into his art, thus inspiring millions of people for hundreds of years. Child also wins any and all polls in which he participates, much to the disdain of his peers. 

[Kullervo]

Mozart is played at our unmanned railway stations and multi-storey car parks. It keeps the vandals and petty criminals away.

Can't see Mahler doing that, somehow.

"Ay yo mang, dey be playin' some muhfukin Mahler 5 in dis, I'm a killa nigga"

[PSmith08]

FRANZ SCHMIDT EFFECT:

Child says reasonably interesting, and occasionally very profound and beautiful things - usually when talking about the end of the world, then makes a series of very poor political decisions and is largely forgotten.

PIERRE BOULEZ EFFECT:

Child speaks in a tight, controlled way that makes you think he's about ready to go off the deep end, and then he insults anyone who doesn't speak like him in the grossest terms possible.

[Josquin des Prez]

BACH EFFECT
When child speaks it makes everybody else look stupid.