What is the cause of the high divorce rate?

[DavidRoss]

Marriage doesn't mean anything anymore. [...] You'll understand my point-of-view soon enough.

BS.

I held that point of view when I was 19.

Marriage--if you mean it--makes a huge difference.  Without that commitment, you don't stick through the difficult stuff and work it out...and then you miss the personal growth only that brings and the depth of relationship only that earns.

And even those with no common sense will find that research overwhelmingly supports the benefit of marriage for children.

[Bulldog]

I'm not married and don't intend on marrying.

And I would be very hesitant to fix you up with a woman.

[owlice]

Marriage doesn't mean anything anymore.

Obviously, it means quite a lot, which is why those who are denied marriage are working so hard to try to gain it.

Just because you think it doesn't mean anything doesn't make it so.

[Mirror Image]

BS.

I held that point of view when I was 19.

Marriage--if you mean it--makes a huge difference.  Without that commitment, you don't stick through the difficult stuff and work it out...and then you miss the personal growth only that brings and the depth of relationship only that earns.

And even those with no common sense will find that research overwhelmingly supports the benefit of marriage for children.

Marriage may work for some, but not many. Yours will fail. Just give it time.

[Mirror Image]

Obviously, it means quite a lot, which is why those who are denied marriage are working so hard to try to gain it.

Just because you think it doesn't mean anything doesn't make it so.

So naive, you continue to think that.

[Mirror Image]

And I would be very hesitant to fix you up with a woman.

Not every woman wants marriage. There are many of them who have failed at it and just want somebody who's honest. You don't have to be married to care deeply about somebody.

[Mirror Image]

I, at one point, wanted to get married, but now, it just seems kind like a childish idea more than anything. Like I said, I don't need a piece of paper to make a commitment to someone. If she wants to be with me and I her, then only naturally will we move into together. So many people think they have to get married, when the reality is that love conquers all. You don't need to be married to love someone. If you think you do, then you're only fooling yourself.

[Bulldog]

Marriage may work for some, but not many. Yours will fail. Just give it time.

You've really gone over the top!!!  Time for you to move on, maybe further revise your Debussy-Ravel poll.

[Mirror Image]

You've really gone over the top!!!  Time for you to move on, maybe further revise your Debussy-Ravel poll.

Perhaps you are right, Bulldog. David told me my opinion was BS, which perhaps to him it was, but there were better adjectives to use I think. He led me to my comments by not accepting that not everybody shares his holier-than-thou attitude about marriage. If calling my personal beliefs BS makes him sleep better at night then he can knock himself out, I'll continue to think the same thing I always thought which marriage is a prison sentence. Love happens with or without marriage. All I'm saying is you don't have to be married to have a true, honest, and committed relationship with someone.

[Scarpia]

I, at one point, wanted to get married, but now, it just seems kind like a childish idea more than anything. Like I said, I don't need a piece of paper to make a commitment to someone. If she wants to be with me and I her, then only naturally will we move into together. So many people think they have to get married, when the reality is that love conquers all. You don't need to be married to love someone. If you think you do, then you're only fooling yourself.

there is a big difference between the view that "I'll find someone who I love, and that's great, and if we don't love each other any more we will be free to move on" and the view that "I will make it my business to create a happy life with this person, and if there are difficulties they will be surmounted, full stop."  That is a marriage, paper or no paper.

[Herman]

Marriage--if you mean it--makes a huge difference.  Without that commitment, you don't stick through the difficult stuff and work it out...and then you miss the personal growth only that brings and the depth of relationship only that earns.

Well, if that were true, there wouldn't be a significant divorce rate.  Many married people don't work it out, just like many unmarried people. Even though at some point "they meant it"

And even those with no common sense will find that research overwhelmingly supports the benefit of marriage for children.

and they like it.

[Mirror Image]

there is a big difference between the view that "I'll find someone who I love, and that's great, and if we don't love each other any more we will be free to move on" and the view that "I will make it my business to create a happy life with this person, and if there are difficulties they will be surmounted, full stop."  That is a marriage, paper or no paper.

That's not the point I'm making, Scarps. The point I'm making is you don't need a piece of paper to be in a committed, loving, healthy relationship. Like I said, love triumphs over everything.

[Herman]

there is a big difference between the view that "I'll find someone who I love, and that's great, and if we don't love each other any more we will be free to move on" and the view that "I will make it my business to create a happy life with this person, and if there are difficulties they will be surmounted, full stop."  That is a marriage, paper or no paper.

However, very few people over age 35, with kids, look at their relationships in the former way, if only for economic reasons. I cannot help but notice that the pressures of one's economic situation (which, for most modern people, are pretty serious) have hardly entered the picture.

[Mirror Image]

I'm single and I'm glad I am. Some people go through life thinking they have to be with somebody all the time even if they end being totally wrong for them. Not me. If the time comes that I meet a woman that I'm attracted to intellectually (physical attraction doesn't last too long and it's not really important in the long run IMHO), then I'll pursue a relationship, until then, it's not on my priority list.

[Bulldog]

I'm single and I'm glad I am. Some people go through life thinking they have to be with somebody all the time even if they end being totally wrong for them. Not me. If the time comes that I meet a woman that I'm attracted to intellectually (physical attraction doesn't last too long and it's not really important in the long run IMHO), then I'll pursue a relationship, until then, it's not on my priority list.

I think that physical attraction is always important.

[Mirror Image]

I think that physical attraction is always important.

At first it is, but isn't the most important thing.

[Bulldog]

At first it is, but isn't the most important thing.

I never said it was "most important".  By the way, why do you keep harping on the notion that physical attraction eventually dissipates.

[Mirror Image]

I never said it was "most important".  By the way, why do you keep harping on the notion that physical attraction eventually dissipates.

I never said it eventually dissipates. All I'm saying is that without an intellectual connection, you have nothing.

[Bulldog]

I never said it eventually dissipates. All I'm saying is that without an intellectual connection, you have nothing.

How would you define the intellectual connection?  At this point, I have no idea what you're referring to.

[Mirror Image]

How would you define the intellectual connection?  At this point, I have no idea what you're referring to.

A mental connection is what I'm talking about. She knows you from the inside and you know her from the inside. You both connect with similar ideas, thoughts, you both know what the other person has gone through in their life to get them to where they are today, etc.