50 Things That Only Happen in the Movies

[lukeottevanger]

74 There are magical musical instruments which produce sound bearing no relationship to the movement of the performer's fingers thereon.

[Florestan]

75. The car battery in a brand new BMW is most likely to fail when you are in a life-threatening situation and need a quick escape.
76. All lawyers, shrinks and bankers in US drive BMWs.

[karlhenning]

74 There are magical musical instruments which produce sound bearing no relationship to the movement of the performer's fingers thereon.

But of course, even with imperfections, you appreciate the rare actor who makes an effort to 'act' at the instrument in a way which harmonizes with the music being 'performed.'

This was one of the reasons why, as a musician, I was selected (over several theater-majors who had wanted the part instead) to play Salieri in a college production of Amadeus . . . the director wanted somebody who knew about music without that being one of the things needed to learn.

[Florestan]

77. All Chiefs of NYPD or LAPD offices are black.

[Florestan]

78. Bruce Willis reads and annotates a book.

[karlhenning]

79. Nick Cage names a composer, or goes to the opera 

[carlos]

80.Hero is attacked by 3 brutal guys.He's beaten,kicked in the
body,the stomach,the face,for at least 5 minutes. Came the help.
Badguys run. Hero stand up. He's just a little hurt. He stagger
a little, but can walk an talk easily
81. If your name is Jack Bauer, you can run,fight,jump,being beaten,drive a car full speed,torture your brother,looking for
your father to kill him, disarming atomic bombs, giving instructions
and advice to your president...And all that without rest,seat,eat,
sleep,piss...

[Florestan]

82. All Serbian bad, all Croatian / Bosnian / Albanian good.

[Kullervo]

If you have nothing to say, just walk in slow motion to a popular indie pop song!

or

No matter what age, or what they are doing, a group of children always laughs the same exact way.

or

Whenever anyone falls off a high ledge, they only scream for half a second, and always in the same voice. That is, unless it's the main antagonist — he'll scream until he disappears from the camera's view.

[orbital]

I particularly enjoy the super zoom process that FBI regularly employs. From a security camera shot they can zoom into the dials of the suspect's watch with no loss in resolution.

Specal note to Mark: I've heard iPhone can do that too 

[M forever]

76. All lawyers, shrinks and bankers in US drive BMWs.

That is actually true.

[Florestan]

The driving hero makes a risky overtake. On the other-way lane a truck approaches. The only action the truck's driver takes is tooting the horn while maintaining exactly the same course and speed.

[Kullervo]

The driving hero makes a risky overtake. On the other-way lane a truck approaches. The only action the truck's driver takes is tooting the horn while maintaining exactly the same course and speed.

WAA WAAAAAAA!!! 

[greg]

81. If your name is Jack Bauer, you can run,fight,jump,being beaten,drive a car full speed,torture your brother,looking for
your father to kill him, disarming atomic bombs, giving instructions
and advice to your president...And all that without rest,seat,eat,
sleep,piss...

his trick is: constantly drinking Red Bull and eating and using the bathroom when the camera isn't looking.

[71 dB]

In movies there are lots of writers but nobody is an optician.

[carlos]

On almost every series and film, everybody strongly hates
FBI, CIA and USA's senators. They are villains,traitors and evil.
They are, and this is one of the few things they're never wrong. 

[Florestan]

In the movies the good guys always win. 

For the real picture watch the news. 

[Kullervo]

In movies there are lots of writers but nobody is an optician.

And they are always young and attractive. If I had the money, I'd make a film about ugly old opticians.

[greg]

In the movies the good guys always win. 

For the real picture watch the news. 

my thoughts exactly.

[techniquest]

77. All Chiefs of NYPD or LAPD offices are black.

That's a good one, and it leads us to....

83. All Judges are elderly black men unless it is a family court in which they are elderly black women
84. Rain is always accompanied by thunder, even in films set in the UK!
85. No one ever needs to use the toilet
86. Cars in chases never run out of fuel and never get punctures (unless the tyre is shot at)
87. In family films with a sporting theme, the last ball played is always in slow motion and always results in a win for the 'goody' team at the stroke of time.
88. The hero can be punched, kicked, shot, etc etc etc without expression, but as soon as the love interest tenderly dabs at a wound with a hanky, he will wince with pain.

More to follow no doubt...