So I Like This Woman At Work...

[Mirror Image]

I can't stop thinking about her and I get the sense that she likes me too, but our stars just haven't completely crossed yet. I guess the easy thing to do obviously would be to ask her out for a cup of coffee and see where things go, but I haven't had the opportunity to ask her yet. But I have been leaving her hints that I'm interested in her: complimenting her and making her laugh (always a good thing I think), but, again, just haven't asked her out. I really dig this woman. She's nine years younger than I am (I'm 30), but I don't see this as a major issue. When I talk to her, I can tell she's a cultured person. Apparently she's a psychology major in college so this is kind of cool and I'm an analytical person, so, if we both don't get anything out of this, at least we'll have been good character studies. Anyway, what do you guys think I should do next? The only member of the board who shouldn't be answering my question is Greg. Get you a woman and quit being shy!

[Opus106]

Anyway, what do you guys think I should do next?

Stop calling yourself analytical. Women, in general, don't like men who hide the truth.

[Szykneij]

Find out what kind of music she likes. (Luckily, you have a broad range of musical tastes and will probably be interested in whatever her answer is.)

Then, pick up a couple of appropriate concert or show tickets and say "Hey, you mentioned you like XXX, and I have this extra ticket. Would you like to go?"

[Brahmsian]

I can't stop thinking about her and I get the sense that she likes me too, but our stars just haven't completely crossed yet. I guess the easy thing to do obviously would be to ask her out for a cup of coffee and see where things go

There is your answer, John.  Don't be shy, ask her if she'd like to go for coffee.  Women are unlikely to make the first move, and this is simply a very innocent, no strings attached way of setting the wheels in motion.  The worst thing that can happen is she says "No".  However, she's unlikely to say no to a simple cup of coffee and conversation. 

[Leo K.]

There is your answer, John.  Don't be shy, ask her if she'd like to go for coffee.  Women are unlikely to make the first move, and this is simply a very innocent, no strings attached way of setting the wheels in motion.  The worst thing that can happen is she says "No".  However, she's unlikely to say no to a simple cup of coffee and conversation. 

This is exactly what I'd do too! It's a great beginning, and breaks the ice gently. When you get the opportunity, take it. It will be a great thing. 

[The new erato]

But in case she likes good music, don't dump on Bach, Mozart and Beethoven on the first date. 

[madaboutmahler]

I agree with Ray and Leo, although of course I don't have too much experience yet.... It may be hard.... as I know, I'm very shy with the girl I really like. It took me a lot of preperation and talks with friends to finally phone her for the first time a few weeks ago, months after she had given me her number! (you may have seen my excitement over getting her number in my thread! ) It went really well, and everything seems to be going well all around, seeing eachother at WYO rehearsals and possible performances together etc. What I try to do, is just think to myself, 'well, it's worth a try'. And hopefully the response will be that which you want!

[North Star]

But in case she likes good music, don't dump on Bach, Mozart and Beethoven on the first date. 

Best advice in the thread, by far! 

Asking for coffee sounds like the best idea. There you find out what she likes to do, and plan the next move using that information.

E: Daniel's advice would be to ask whether she likes Mahler! - the make-it-or-break-it question

[Mirror Image]

Thanks all for the advice and encouragement. Hopefully, I'll see her today at work.

[Sergeant Rock]

E: Daniel's advice would be to ask whether she likes Mahler! - the make-it-or-break-it question

Yeah...and make sure you have a hammer on you just in case she replies in the negative.

Sarge

[Mirror Image]

Yeah...and make sure you have a hammer on you just in case she replies in the negative.

Sarge

If she doesn't like Mahler, then she'll be the one for me. I can deal with her liking Bach, Beethoven, or Mozart, but liking Mahler is a sin.

[madaboutmahler]

E: Daniel's advice would be to ask whether she likes Mahler! - the make-it-or-break-it question

Yes, certainly! I asked H fairly early on whether she liked Mahler (this was in a facebook conversation), she replied saying she was afraid she did not know any but would love to hear some. So, I sent her the Alma Theme from M6, and she replied saying she loved it! From that point onwards, my love for her was confirmed!

Thanks all for the advice and encouragement. Hopefully, I'll see her today at work.

Good luck, John! Do keep us updated! (ignores previous hammer-worthy post )

[Mirror Image]

Good luck, John! Do keep us updated! (ignores previous hammer-worthy post )

Thank you, Daniel. I will post in this thread if there are any updates.

[Sammy]

I can't stop thinking about her and I get the sense that she likes me too, but our stars just haven't completely crossed yet. I guess the easy thing to do obviously would be to ask her out for a cup of coffee and see where things go, but I haven't had the opportunity to ask her yet. But I have been leaving her hints that I'm interested in her: complimenting her and making her laugh (always a good thing I think), but, again, just haven't asked her out. I really dig this woman. She's nine years younger than I am (I'm 30), but I don't see this as a major issue. When I talk to her, I can tell she's a cultured person. Apparently she's a psychology major in college so this is kind of cool and I'm an analytical person, so, if we both don't get anything out of this, at least we'll have been good character studies. Anyway, what do you guys think I should do next? The only member of the board who shouldn't be answering my question is Greg. Get you a woman and quit being shy!

You're thinking too much about this.  Just go with what feels good and try to be spontaneous.

[ibanezmonster]

The only member of the board who shouldn't be answering my question is Greg. Get you a woman and quit being shy!

I'll keep my "Song," but not my "Wine and Women." Those two only lead to disaster if you don't have money. 

[Coopmv]

I can't stop thinking about her and I get the sense that she likes me too, but our stars just haven't completely crossed yet. I guess the easy thing to do obviously would be to ask her out for a cup of coffee and see where things go, but I haven't had the opportunity to ask her yet. But I have been leaving her hints that I'm interested in her: complimenting her and making her laugh (always a good thing I think), but, again, just haven't asked her out. I really dig this woman. She's nine years younger than I am (I'm 30), but I don't see this as a major issue. When I talk to her, I can tell she's a cultured person. Apparently she's a psychology major in college so this is kind of cool and I'm an analytical person, so, if we both don't get anything out of this, at least we'll have been good character studies. Anyway, what do you guys think I should do next? The only member of the board who shouldn't be answering my question is Greg. Get you a woman and quit being shy!

The beginning of a promising relation and we will hardly see you at the forum in the near future ...   

[Mirror Image]

You're thinking too much about this.  Just go with what feels good and try to be spontaneous.

I guess you missed the part where I wrote I'm an analytical person. I can't help it. I probably need to seek treatment of some kind for this.

[Mirror Image]

I'll keep my "Song," but not my "Wine and Women." Those two only lead to disaster if you don't have money. 

[Mirror Image]

The beginning of a promising relation and we will hardly see you at the forum in the near future ...   

I hope so, but I'll still post here. I love annoying all you people here too much.

[Mirror Image]

I would think twice about dating someone at work:

Are you in anyway considered in a supervisory role?  If so, do not ask her out.
Does she work in your area, IOW, will you see her everyday at work?  Do not ask her out unless she works on a different floor than you and you are equals in position, salary, etc.
Your compliments and joking around may seem like easy banter to you, but she might feel uncomfortable and could accuse you of sexual harassment.  Don't laugh, employee lawsuits are filed everyday based on just these kinds of situations.

There is an expression: don't shit where you eat.

If you do go out and you don't get married, you will break up at some point.  Do you really want to be dealing with an ex-girlfriend at work?

I appreciate the concern and you bring up some good, realistic points, but she does not work in the department I work in and she doesn't work at the store I work at but twice a week. She has another job and she's trying to put herself through college, so I imagine that her time is quite limited already, but I'm not going to let it stop me. I'm also not going to ask her out while I'm on the clock. You have to play it safe these days.