My New Year Newsletter

[springrite]

As some of you know, every year I write a newsletter of my thoughts to share with friends. I just finished this year's Newsletter. Just thought I'd share with you all.
Brothers from a Different Mother

Unlike previous years, when my Newsletter stayed in gestation until around the Chinese New Year, this time I had it more or less finished by the beginning of December. But something happened in December that caused me to make significant changes, if not a complete re-writing. What happened was several days spent with reporters for a feature report on me to be published after the New Year by the influential German publication Die Zeit. I wasn't excited about the exposure per se, as many of you know my aversion to the limelight. I enjoy nothing more than working diligently in a corner unseen. However, several days of interviews, a public lecture, a real-life counseling session that the reporters observed, and a visit to the old houses and neighborhood where I grew up, made me take an in-depth look at myself. In the beginning, it was De Zeit that wanted to know about me, and how I became who I am. I soon joined in on the exploration with curiosity and naïve anticipation. In the end, I found myself to be more eager than ever to know the "me" inside. There have been so many diverse influences in my life, from the genetic codes I inherited, to people in my life including my grandmother, parents, teachers, friends, to cultures (Eastern, Western, Middle Eastern, African, Navajo), philosophies (Taoism, Transcendentalism), religions (Buddhism, Christianity, Sufism, Islam), psychologists (Freud, Rogers, Adler, Lawrence, Diamond), science (Quantum Physics, Complexity，String Theory), music (Bach, Mahler, Beethoven, Carter, Brian, Feldman, Cage), art (Rothko, Pollock, van Gogh), poets (Whitman, Tagore, Eliot, Rumi, Gu Cheng, e. e. cummings), all of which seem to pull in different directions and many are considered polar opposites. Can a congruent person actually come out of that kind of bombardment in one piece? I want to share my discoveries with you.
"Who am I?" It is a question that we all have but never asked. But to begin, we can at least say: "I am NOT you."
   But is that true? If you look at our brain, the core "source code" is passed on from the beginning of time. Even life experiences of the amebae, invertebrate fish, early mammal and Neanderthals are parts of us all. If you look at our genetic codes, we are 99.99% the same. If you look past and through the levels of molecules, atoms, electrons, neutrons, all the way to the quantum level, you will see that we are made up of nothing but waves of energy. How am I not you? I am not discounting the part that is different, but does it not seem silly that we ignore the 99.99% percent when looking at ourselves? How can you know a person by looking only at the 0.01%, especially considering that most of that difference is only about hair color, pigmentation under the skin and the shape of your nose? Shouldn't human interactions be more about the 99.99% rather than the 0.01%?
   Buddhist teachings tell us that a major source of human suffering is differentiation; the need to think one is different. "I am not you." Western culture is individualistic. Psychology comes from Western culture. However, it is most effective when recognition of the 99.99% of sameness is taken as a prerequisite. What we often fail to recognize is the fact that most of the time, the part of a person that you think is "wrong" is also part of the 99.99%. You have it, too. The only difference is that you have not had the opportunity to exhibit it. You are not THAT different from any other human being on this planet we call earth.
   Because we are 99.99% the same, that is the place where synchronicity takes place and we can have energy transfer. This principle can be applied in any human interaction, including relationships, family, parenting, management, marketing, sales, design, teaching, civil service, anything that involves another human being. A certain way of breathing can influence a negotiation; a different layout can double sales; a casual posture can start a romance; a certain energy from the window to the soul can save a life. That is true regardless of whether you are rich or poor, illiterate or a PhD. You are human first.
   In our age, the triumph of the Great Individual is all the vogue. Earlier this year, at the CLEC annual conference, where most of the attendees are multi-millionaires, I gave a short comment on my mission there as a coach. "If you had been in China 25 years ago, in terms of great businesses and great entrepreneurs, China was a barren landscape. Now it looks like a prosperous forest. However, when I walked into this forest, I realized that it is not a true forest. It is a giant field of tall yet slender trees. They are individual trees that have nothing to do with each other, and have no relationship with other life in this field. It is not an ecosystem. I want to help make this an ecosystem."
   Regardless of how similar or how different we may think we are from each other, we are mostly the same and it is in the best interest of everyone to be part of an ecosystem together. But how much can an individual do to make a difference? According to the Buddhist teachings, another major source of human suffering is obsession with the outcome. My personal motto is: "Do what I must do. Let what must happen, happen." Since quantum physics tells us that the world is nothing but an energy field, I will just be a positive energy in this field. The rest will take care of itself. Through being a source of positive energy and a promoter of synchronicity, I can help deliver my fellow humans from suffering and make this world a better place.
   Remember my South African brother Tshif? At this year's EAPA conference, he and the South Africa branch received a major award. During his acceptance speech, he was too gracious and mentioned me. This is what he said: "From the moment I met Paul, it was like we have known each other all our lives. He is my brother from a different mother." Well, Tshif, I feel the same about you. Continents apart, we have been living the same life. But to go further, I feel the same about so many people because, in a sense, from the boys and girls I am counseling who survived the ASIANA air disaster to the homeless man I briefly shared a cave with together in Cape Town, to the billionaire and his employees, competitors and customers, we are all brothers and sisters from different mothers. I can almost remember the day when we were part of the same amebae.
   A student once wondered: "Mr. Yin, I used the same technique. I don't understand why it did not work?"
   "You were trying to cure a disease. I was helping a human being. You were working with the 0.01% while I was working with the 99.99%. That is the difference."

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
                                 ---William Blake

Your world suddenly looks and feels like a better place now, doesn't it?

Happy New Year, my brothers and sisters!

Paul Yin         
(aka SpringRite)
December 21, 2013