The Dating Thread

[DavidW]

More than a decade ago, I can't remember sorry!

[Mirror Image]

When sending a message, did you just write a short message commenting on something in their profile? And what did you write for the subject line? I suspect the messages I send out may be identical to the dozens of other messages they get from other guys.

I wouldn't send a woman some cookie-cutter message that looks like it's been manufactured. I would send them a message that reveals a bit of your humor and that is unconventional, because, from what I gather, you're a pretty strange guy, so why not send something a bit out of the norm? If she responds with a nice reply, then you know that you can be yourself and she's pretty open-minded. Of course, most of all, she wants to get to know you.

BTW, Dave, is right about your picture. It's not good. It isn't very flattering. A picture of you smiling and being at leisure is the way for you go. So, first things first, delete that photo and put a better one up!

[ibanezmonster]

I wouldn't send a woman some cookie-cutter message that looks like it's been manufactured. I would send them a message that reveals a bit of your humor and that is unconventional, because, from what I gather, you're a pretty strange guy, so why not send something a bit out of the norm? If she responds with a nice reply, then you know that you can be yourself and she's pretty open-minded. Of course, most of all, she wants to get to know you.

BTW, Dave, is right about your picture. It's not good. It isn't very flattering. A picture of you smiling and being at leisure is the way for you go. So, first things first, delete that photo and put a better one up!

Cool, will definitely try both, thanks.

[Mirror Image]

Cool, will definitely try both, thanks.

No problem my friend.

[Mookalafalas]

I mean, my profile picture isn't terrible, is it? Basically just a headshot, like everyone else does:

http://pictures.match.com/pictures/19/23/165031923Z.jpeg

  In my opinion, it's not a good picture--I don't mean you, I mean the picture.  Putting a little thought into it shows consideration, IMO, like showering and combing your hair and putting on nicer-er clothes when you meet a girl for a date.  This looks kind of like a selfie with a cheap phone. If you have a friend with a non-phone camera, ask if they would help you take some pics.  Do 20 or 30 (not a photo shoot, just "click, click, click", Ok, try standing here, "click, Click, click" and you shift a bit, maybe move to a couple of different angles) and pick the one that looks the best. 
  Just a suggestion.

[Moonfish]

Hmmm....

[ibanezmonster]

  In my opinion, it's not a good picture--I don't mean you, I mean the picture.  Putting a little thought into it shows consideration, IMO, like showering and combing your hair and putting on nicer-er clothes when you meet a girl for a date.  This looks kind of like a selfie with a cheap phone. If you have a friend with a non-phone camera, ask if they would help you take some pics.  Do 20 or 30 (not a photo shoot, just "click, click, click", Ok, try standing here, "click, Click, click" and you shift a bit, maybe move to a couple of different angles) and pick the one that looks the best. 
  Just a suggestion.

That picture was taken with a non-phone camera; it looks grainier because I cropped it and so it got resized. The original looks fine, though. Good catch, didn't even think about that. I do have that camera somewhere in the house...

[ibanezmonster]

Might actually be trying to get to know a girl at work better if I get lucky enough to see her on a regular basis...
I heard her talking to someone, mentioning that she's currently concerned with finishing school rather than having kids and currently has no boyfriend. Also, I like the fact that she's the first female loader in the 6 years I've been there. 

First girl I've worked with in years that I would consider... more likely I won't end up seeing her enough to get to know her better, but unlikely things sometimes happen. 

[Mirror Image]

Might actually be trying to get to know a girl at work better if I get lucky enough to see her on a regular basis...
I heard her talking to someone, mentioning that she's currently concerned with finishing school rather than having kids and currently has no boyfriend. Also, I like the fact that she's the first female loader in the 6 years I've been there. 

First girl I've worked with in years that I would consider... more likely I won't end up seeing her enough to get to know her better, but unlikely things sometimes happen. 

Good to hear, Greg. Now ask her out for some coffee or dinner.

Oh and is this woman good looking? This also helps IMHO.

[mc ukrneal]

Might actually be trying to get to know a girl at work better if I get lucky enough to see her on a regular basis...
I heard her talking to someone, mentioning that she's currently concerned with finishing school rather than having kids and currently has no boyfriend. Also, I like the fact that she's the first female loader in the 6 years I've been there. 

First girl I've worked with in years that I would consider... more likely I won't end up seeing her enough to get to know her better, but unlikely things sometimes happen. 

Why not ask her out in order to get to know her better? It doesn't have to be serious even - a coworker getting to know a coworker (at lunch, a break, whatever).

On the picture thing, my thought would be try to take it with some sort of interest in the background. For example - if you hike, do rockclimbing, movie enthusiast (or anime), etc. This can be an additional talking point either in your initial contact or in the future. Someone who has the same interest might also be more apt to respond. May not be so simple and may require a little thinking on how to get it in the picture, but could be a real plus. On the other hand, you don't want to scare people off.

By the way - I would not focus on the physical looks too much. Most women are attractive, and I'd say that all of them with a good personality are. Somone with a lousy personality will be ugly no matter how much she may be interesting physically.

[ibanezmonster]

Oh and is this woman good looking? This also helps IMHO.

Of course, IMO. And a bit younger than me (20 years old). I could never be interested in someone I found unattractive; in that case they'd just be friends at the most.

Oh and is this woman good looking? This also helps IMHO.

I will eventually; best bet is to hope she stays a loader for a while (and during the evening), though that is iffy with her hand currently messed up and unable to lift stuff. If she goes to cashiering completely, then it's just a matter of luck with  scheduling, since some cashiers I almost never see at all. One lady that works in customer service jokes that she sees me twice a year because we never work during the same times.

By the way - I would not focus on the physical looks too much. Most women are attractive, and I'd say that all of them with a good personality are. Somone with a lousy personality will be ugly no matter how much she may be interesting physically.

Totally true.

[Szykneij]

Until this:

Of course, IMO. And a bit younger than me (20 years old). I could never be interested in someone I found unattractive; in that case they'd just be friends at the most.

changes to this:

By the way - I would not focus on the physical looks too much. Most women are attractive, and I'd say that all of them with a good personality are. Somone with a lousy personality will be ugly no matter how much she may be interesting physically.

... you will probably remain lonely.

[ibanezmonster]

Until this:

changes to this:

... you will probably remain lonely.

What are talking about? I should date someone that I'm not attracted to? 

[Szykneij]

What are talking about? I should date someone that I'm not attracted to? 

As mc pointed out, the perception of someone's beauty can change drastically under different circumstances. Someone you find physically attractive can suddenly look ugly if they're not a good person. Someone else who initially didn't catch your eye can all of a sudden look like the cutest thing you've ever seen once you get to know them.

  So, yes, you should date someone you're not physically attracted to. You might be surprised by the result.

[ibanezmonster]

As mc pointed out, the perception of someone's beauty can change drastically under different circumstances. Someone you find physically attractive can suddenly look ugly if they're not a good person. Someone else who initially didn't catch your eye can all of a sudden look like the cutest thing you've ever seen once you get to know them.

  So, yes, you should date someone you're not physically attracted to. You might be surprised by the result.

Well, I have known girls that aren't very attractive (though not ugly) and knowing them (liking their personality very much and having common interests) have made them slightly attractive for me. But I never would actually go home and think about them ever. I might feel something slightly when I'm around them and talking about a subject we are both interested in, but that's the full extent of it.


While on the subject... that hot Polish girl I used to work with (who was also very nice), well... maybe nice and good are different things, since she ended up selling stolen stuff again.  And has a burglary charge against her this time. My best guess is for drug money, since it usually is...

[Henk]

Guys, Greg needs all the help he can get. Realize this and provide him with more advices!! 

[ibanezmonster]

Guys, Greg needs all the help he can get. Realize this and provide him with more advices!! 

It's okay, Henk. I think I've gotten some good suggestions.
Mainly there are just not enough young people in my area. In the city, there are tons of women my age range.

This thread in image form:

Okay, I get it, you like to troll. It gets might be funny at first but it gets old.
If you think I ever feel lonely, you're completely mistaken. I think having a girlfriend would be nice, and definitely worth a try, but I love being alone. Perhaps too much.

I would like to see a picture of you and your girlfriend(s).

[ibanezmonster]

Might actually be trying to get to know a girl at work better if I get lucky enough to see her on a regular basis...

Like a creep, I went ahead and searched her fb page out of curiosity, and found out she entered a new relationship a little over a week ago. That's almost the exact timing of when I finally was able to spend a bit of time in conversation with her.
I'm getting the vibe that we have nothing in common (for one, she's a party girl), but I realized that most of the couples I've ever known have little or nothing in common, yet they find a way to make it work, so maybe it's not the most important thing.

Not sure if I already mentioned it, but I deleted both of my profiles from pf and match.com. Pretty worthless in an area like mine with few people that aren't retirement age, but if you live in the city, I'd have to say, it looks very promising. When I move one day, I might try again.

[Mirror Image]

Greg's (Personal) Experiment = EPIC FAIL 

[ibanezmonster]

Greg's (Personal) Experiment = EPIC FAIL 

Basically.
(though I expected this).

Still a mystery to me how people are able to form relationships when most people are busy 50+ hours a week; really, how does that happen? I hear about busy men that work 80 hours a week and have no time for their wives, but how did they even find time to build a relationship with them in the first place? Regardless, if I'm busy 60+ hours a week, that would be the cutoff line and I absolutely wouldn't want to be in a relationship at that point.

I noticed that I started this topic when it was the beginning of May and wasn't overloaded with work. From now to the end of the year, it'll be easily a 60 hour a week struggle... it's at the point to where I feel guilty for spending 2 hours with a friend yesterday and 3 hours with another friend today on my days off. That's 5 hours I could have used for homework! And typing this is a few minutes I could have used for homework! I can't even get a haircut or go to the gym I'm so busy...