Dating or not dating.

[greg]

You need to get out more and I'll just leave it at that.

But do you ever go out? 

I went out this afternoon and played some basketball at my park, but I got bored because I had no one to play with. So I went to the other park and ended up playing a few games against a guy probably around my age, even match (2-2 wins/losses). I'll probably try to go back, maybe I'll see him again. Then these kids wanted me to play with them... that was really unfair, I almost felt bad lol.

I realize explanation now completely. I CAN'T BE RUSHED. When I saw that guy, not gonna lie- I was in a pretty desperate state of mind wanting someone to play with. It had been too long. I shot around with him for about 20 minutes and didn't really say much at all before I asked him if he wanted to play HORSE. I think doing that just makes my mind more relaxed and at ease so I can chill and talk normally.

When those girls were talking about various anime, there's like 5 seconds to respond or it becomes weird if you talk after that. Kind of a rushed feeling.

Not really a problem unique to me, though, I don't think. People often use alcohol to calm down at parties/social gatherings. And a lot of people have a hard time falling asleep if they have to be up early (my dad has a HUGE problem with this and my friend admitted to having difficulties with this). It all amounts to their subconscious mind rebelling against their conscious mind barking orders- "HURRY UP AND RELAX!") 

I think the term for this is "Performance Anxiety."

[Mirror Image]

This thread has been awfully quiet since Nik hasn't been around much lately.

[greg]

This thread has been awfully quiet since Nik hasn't been much lately.

Yep.

The more I think about it, though, it's not so bad being alone. The pros actually slightly outweigh the cons, if you actually stop to think about it.

Unfortunately, it still seems my mom has some hopes, as every time she mentions me to "maybe go out and meet someone." So that will be the worst part of it, if I ever feel the need to tell her to just let go any expectations she has.

[Mirror Image]

Yep.

The more I think about it, though, it's not so bad being alone. The pros actually slightly outweigh the cons, if you actually stop to think about it.

Unfortunately, it still seems my mom has some hopes, as every time she mentions me to "maybe go out and meet someone." So that will be the worst part of it, if I ever feel the need to tell her to just let go any expectations she has.

Being alone does have a few benefits, but, ultimately, I do want to have a relationship with a woman as I don't really want to be alone since life is better enjoyed when you're with someone. Like, for example, I really enjoyed my time with Kate (the Thai woman I was seeing), but if things had worked out and she had more things in her life in order, then she might have been the one for me as she genuinely made me happy and feel good. Of course, I couldn't get past many of the issues I had, which led me to break it off with her. Anyway, this kind of happiness I'm talking about doesn't happen when you're alone. I mean sure I can entertain myself and keep busy and enjoy my alone time, but my greatest fear is the road ahead and shadowy path that is obscured from my view doesn't seem too fulfilling.

[NikF]

Being alone does have a few benefits, but, ultimately, I do want to have a relationship with a woman as I don't really want to be alone since life is better enjoyed when you're with someone. Like, for example, I really enjoyed my time with Kate (the Thai woman I was seeing), but if things had worked out and she had more things in her life in order, then she might have been the one for me as she genuinely made me happy and feel good. Of course, I couldn't get past many of the issues I had, which led me to break it off with her. Anyway, this kind of happiness I'm talking about doesn't happen when you're alone. I mean sure I can entertain myself and keep busy and enjoy my alone time, but my greatest fear is the road ahead and shadowy path that is obscured from my view doesn't seem too fulfilling.

Try not to worry about the future. It's not here yet and in the meantime there's lots of cool stuff to do.

I've no dating updates to post. I'm still attending to other things and it'll probably be at least a few weeks more before I'm done with them. But as I wrote in my previous post, you can never tell who/what/where you're going to encounter. So at all times I'm remaining in my default state of 

[Mirror Image]

Try not to worry about the future. It's not here yet and in the meantime there's lots of cool stuff to do.

I've no dating updates to post. I'm still attending to other things and it'll probably be at least a few weeks more before I'm done with them. But as I wrote in my previous post, you can never tell who/what/where you're going to encounter. So at all times I'm remaining in my default state of 

That's true. Good to see you're doing good, Nik.

[NikF]

That's true. Good to see you're doing good, Nik.

Thanks.

Since not a lot is happening in the thread at the moment I was thinking of asking those who have a story or account of 'the one that got away' if they'd be interested in posting it. I have such a story from way far back when I was in my 20s, but I'll wait and see if anyone else wants to post their own first.

[Mirror Image]

Thanks.

Since not a lot is happening in the thread at the moment I was thinking of asking those who have a story or account of 'the one that got away' if they'd be interested in posting it. I have such a story from way far back when I was in my 20s, but I'll wait and see if anyone else wants to post their own first.

Yes, I always love to read those kinds of stories, too.

[NikF]

Yes, I always love to read those kinds of stories, too.

Good. In fact, any relationship/dating/encounter tales would be cool. 

[Mirror Image]

Good. In fact, any relationship/dating/encounter tales would be cool. 

Absolutely. Well, I've got something brewing right now, but I won't share the tale until I have some definite answers, so stay tuned.

[NikF]

Absolutely. Well, I've got something brewing right now, but I won't share the tale until I have some definite answers, so stay tuned.

Good stuff. 

[NikF]

I'm going into town today to get a woman's phone number. I'm almost 100% sure she'll give it to me without me even asking. 
If I get it I'll post about how/why I didn't get it immediately after we first met. If I don't get it I'll pretend it never happened and will never mention it ever again.

e: As expected, I got her number. And I never really doubted that I would. 

[Mirror Image]

I'm going into town today to get a woman's phone number. I'm almost 100% sure she'll give it to me without me even asking. 
If I get it I'll post about how/why I didn't get it immediately after we first met. If I don't get it I'll pretend it never happened and will never mention it ever again.

e: As expected, I got her number. And I never really doubted that I would. 

Excellent to hear, Nik. Good luck! Yes, you should definitely tell us why you didn't want her number immediately.

[PerfectWagnerite]

I'm going into town today to get a woman's phone number. I'm almost 100% sure she'll give it to me without me even asking. 
If I get it I'll post about how/why I didn't get it immediately after we first met. If I don't get it I'll pretend it never happened and will never mention it ever again.

e: As expected, I got her number. And I never really doubted that I would. 

Good for you. I hear that within the first minute of first meeting a woman she has more or less decided whether you have any chance of getting pass second base or not. Any truth to that?

[vandermolen]

Absolutely. Well, I've got something brewing right now, but I won't share the tale until I have some definite answers, so stay tuned.

Yes, we need to know. 
Hope it goes well.

[NikF]

Excellent to hear, Nik.

Thanks.  Any updates for you yet?

Yes, you should definitely tell us why you didn't want her number immediately.

She's the manageress of a clothing store. I'd gone in to buy some stuff but they didn't have everything in my size due to me being a shortarse. So l decided to order it. I was going to approach her for help but she blanked me with a look that was either 'I am interested but playing hard to get and so ignoring you for now' or 'I find you truly repugnant on a number of levels'.  Anyway, she has what appears to be a great body, pretty face, and a fine sneer - I imagine guys hit on her on a fairly regular basis - and I wouldn't mind dating her.

So, one of the assistants ordered it for me and I arranged to collect it the next day instead of having it delivered. When I returned an assistant went to get it from the stockroom, but the manageress took it from her. I was still in two minds but was thinking of asking for her number anyway just for the hell of it.
She was chatting as she handed my order over but was being quite formal. The bags were sealed and I'm standing there with one in each hand. She made out a receipt and I said I couldn't take it because my hands were full. So she leaned way over the counter and tucked the receipt into the breast pocket of my (pink ) T-shirt and then slowly kind of patted it flat. But the thing is, she did all that with her eyes locked on mine throughout and we ended up with our faces only inches apart. I didn't want to ask for her number right then. But I went in today and spoke to her ("... I've just come back in today to get your number") and she gave me it. I'll call her tomorrow and arrange something.

[NikF]

Good for you. I hear that within the first minute of first meeting a woman she has more or less decided whether you have any chance of getting pass second base or not. Any truth to that?

I'd say usually, yes. I can't say for sure 100%. And not all women are the same. But going by my own experience I'd say that yes, most women kind of know from the outset if they find a man attractive enough to sleep with. But even then, it can quickly change quite dramatically based on any number of (sometimes trivial) things. And I think that throws a lot of guys sometimes and can lead to stuff like "What happened? We really hit it off, but then she suddenly flaked on me..." Most women are more likely to jump from yes to no than a man is.
Again, that's only my experience.

[Mirror Image]

Thanks.  Any updates for you yet?

Nope, I'm still in the brewing stage.

She's the manageress of a clothing store. I'd gone in to buy some stuff but they didn't have everything in my size due to me being a shortarse. So l decided to order it. I was going to approach her for help but she blanked me with a look that was either 'I am interested but playing hard to get and so ignoring you for now' or 'I find you truly repugnant on a number of levels'.  Anyway, she has what appears to be a great body, pretty face, and a fine sneer - I imagine guys hit on her on a fairly regular basis - and I wouldn't mind dating her.

So, one of the assistants ordered it for me and I arranged to collect it the next day instead of having it delivered. When I returned an assistant went to get it from the stockroom, but the manageress took it from her. I was still in two minds but was thinking of asking for her number anyway just for the hell of it.
She was chatting as she handed my order over but was being quite formal. The bags were sealed and I'm standing there with one in each hand. She made out a receipt and I said I couldn't take it because my hands were full. So she leaned way over the counter and tucked the receipt into the breast pocket of my (pink ) T-shirt and then slowly kind of patted it flat. But the thing is, she did all that with her eyes locked on mine throughout and we ended up with our faces only inches apart. I didn't want to ask for her number right then. But I went in today and spoke to her ("... I've just come back in today to get your number") and she gave me it. I'll call her tomorrow and arrange something.

That's great, man! I hope it goes well for you.

[greg]

I'd say usually, yes. I can't say for sure 100%. And not all women are the same. But going by my own experience I'd say that yes, most women kind of know from the outset if they find a man attractive enough to sleep with. But even then, it can quickly change quite dramatically based on any number of (sometimes trivial) things. And I think that throws a lot of guys sometimes and can lead to stuff like "What happened? We really hit it off, but then she suddenly flaked on me..." Most women are more likely to jump from yes to no than a man is.
Again, that's only my experience.

I have no idea about the last part, but I think this is accurate. Potential is decided really quick (among anyone).

[PerfectWagnerite]

I have no idea about the last part, but I think this is accurate. Potential is decided really quick (among anyone).

not sure about you guys but i have nevet seen a woman who is remotely attractive that i am not thinking about bagging. Whether or not those feelings are reciprocated is another matter.