The Joke Thread

[Cato]

So that is where this comes from  .

I would change The Cure to Alan Pettersson! Which, funny enough, I'm planning on listening to his 9th today.

Changing The Cure to Alanis Morisette occurred to me!   

[LKB]

I asked for Octopus at a restaurant.
The waiter said it would take four hours.
I said why that long?
Waiter replied the Octopus keeps turning the gas off!

Not a joke per se, more of an anecdote. At least it's true.

Walking through downtown Menlo Park this morning, I passed by a newly-opened oyster bar and thought, " Those must be some tiny glasses... "

Maybe I should have been a dad, after all. 

[Irons]

Another anecdote. Listening to a highly entertaining "Rosebud" podcast with Gyles Brandreth chatting with Sir Gary Oldman, who describing his years of heavy drinking - Oldman has been sober for over 20 years.

I knew my drinking had got too bad when one night Keith Richards put me to bed!