Dating or not dating.

[NikF]

Restraining order implies great sex. Just sayin'.

You're absolutely correct. Also, see the last part of this post: http://www.good-music-guide.com/community/index.php/topic,26059.msg1031591.html#msg1031591

As an aside (kind of) one of the things we joke about as being part of the skill set required for professional photographers working with models is 'Having an understanding of various personality disorders and daddy issues'. And that's one of the reasons I never work(ed) with non-agency represented models unless they were chaperoned.

[greg]

That some funny stuff, Nik.

I was wanting to uninstall Tinder. But after that experiment with swipe all/maximize radius/use boost, I've been getting constant notifications for matches. I believe I've gotten over 50 the last two days.

But at the same time it almost makes me want to cry at how far almost all the ones that I would even consider are. There was even a girl that says she is into metal, but lives in Omaha, which is 2 hours away. Even really, really close friends who end up living an hour away I'll tend to stop visiting because of the distance. That's what I get for setting max radius. 

It doesn't make much sense because I live in what I believe is the most populated area within Tinder's max radius.

[greg]

When you're talking to a hot girl on Tinder that wants to watch a movie with you and then suddenly the entire match and conversation is gone, just vanished. Wtf just happened?

[Mirror Image]

When you're talking to a hot girl on Tinder that wants to watch a movie with you and then suddenly the entire match and conversation is gone, just vanished. Wtf just happened?

This happened to me, too, and is part of the reason why I uninstalled that app.

[greg]

This happened to me, too, and is part of the reason why I uninstalled that app.

Ha! Actually the second time this happened to me, first time was when I briefly used it when I was living in Florida, then proceeding to uninstall it.

[greg]

I think I may have avoided something really bad...

Girl asking if I want to come over right now, giving the street address and everything. I act interested at first, but then proceed to say that I'd rather meet up in a restaurant, maybe dinner tomorrow first. Vanished. I think she just unmatched me.

But what I suspect is that criminals may lure people in and then do whatever, rob them, I guess. Although I never heard of it, it would be so easy to do so. There are gangs in the city. Better to be safe.

[Mirror Image]

I think I may have avoided something really bad...

Girl asking if I want to come over right now, giving the street address and everything. I act interested at first, but then proceed to say that I'd rather meet up in a restaurant, maybe dinner tomorrow first. Vanished. I think she just unmatched me.

But what I suspect is that criminals may lure people in and then do whatever, rob them, I guess. Although I never heard of it, it would be so easy to do so. There are gangs in the city. Better to be safe.

Yes, that's quite suspicious and it's good of you that used your head here, because it'd be all too easy to fall into a trap. It could have also been a cop posing as a woman to lure you in and then arrest you for prostitution or even something drug-related. I'd always opt to meet at a public place and if she just vanished, then it was obviously a scam.

[Ken B]

I think I may have avoided something really bad...

Girl asking if I want to come over right now, giving the street address and everything. I act interested at first, but then proceed to say that I'd rather meet up in a restaurant, maybe dinner tomorrow first. Vanished. I think she just unmatched me.

But what I suspect is that criminals may lure people in and then do whatever, rob them, I guess. Although I never heard of it, it would be so easy to do so. There are gangs in the city. Better to be safe.

Sound advice.

[greg]

For sure, wasn't worth taking the risk. It also could have been some married lady who wanted to keep a secret, but the likelihood of it turning out bad was just way too high. (And that scenario I wouldn't want to be a part of, either).

So... done! Uninstalled Tinder! 

The last few days it just became nothing but a curiosity. As in, how can I manipulate and rig the system? What are the limits? I did have a few girls I could have talked to more that might have had potential, but...

I haven't really cared at all lately. Going to bed and waking up in the morning, when your mind is idle, will go to wanting that. But in your free time, if you find any good addictions to have, you won't sit that at home dreaming of finding someone. You won't even care... right now, addicted to FF14 again and also learning some Periphery on guitar. And when my mind is on that, I completely forget about this. In fact, texting some cute girl that may end up sleeping with you is boring, IMO, especially when I have limited time in the evening to indulge in my hobbies- that just becomes a distraction.

(I use the term "addiction" here lightly, though- more like a hobby).

[Mirror Image]

For sure, wasn't worth taking the risk. It also could have been some married lady who wanted to keep a secret, but the likelihood of it turning out bad was just way too high. (And that scenario I wouldn't want to be a part of, either).

So... done! Uninstalled Tinder! 

The last few days it just became nothing but a curiosity. As in, how can I manipulate and rig the system? What are the limits? I did have a few girls I could have talked to more that might have had potential, but...

I haven't really cared at all lately. Going to bed and waking up in the morning, when your mind is idle, will go to wanting that. But in your free time, if you find any good addictions to have, you won't sit that at home dreaming of finding someone. You won't even care... right now, addicted to FF14 again and also learning some Periphery on guitar. And when my mind is on that, I completely forget about this. In fact, texting some cute girl that may end up sleeping with you is boring, IMO, especially when I have limited time in the evening to indulge in my hobbies- that just becomes a distraction.

(I use the term "addiction" here lightly, though- more like a hobby).

This kind of brings to mind a quote from Ravel: "The only love affair I have ever had was with music".

[NikF]

For sure, wasn't worth taking the risk. It also could have been some married lady who wanted to keep a secret, but the likelihood of it turning out bad was just way too high. (And that scenario I wouldn't want to be a part of, either).

Cops? Prostitutes? Gangs? Insurance Salesmen?   

Yeah, when in doubt do nothing. And so you did the right thing.
And you're correct, it could well be the worst case scenario that she has lied and is married. No, the actual worst case is that she has lied and is married and she expects you to listen to her complain about it. 

Or maybe it would be like that story "...laugh all you like, but I know this guy who met a girl in a place and next thing he knew was waking up naked in a bathtub to find that one of his kidneys was missing and someone had tattooed 'Too Much Lube Is Nearly Enuff lol' on his arse"

This kind of brings to mind a quote from Ravel: "The only love affair I have ever had was with music".

I wonder how the music might sound had Ravel experienced a different kind of life. I must go over to his thread to see if anyone has considered that scenario and discussed it.

Anyway, despite still seeing the dancer I'm going to a chamber music performance (R. Strauss and Sibelius piano quartets)  next week with someone new I met. I'm aware this might be a case of literally too close to home, due to her living almost directly across the road from me. But if I'm going worry about that I'll worry about it later.

[Mirror Image]

I wonder how the music might sound had Ravel experienced a different kind of life. I must go over to his thread to see if anyone has considered that scenario and discussed it.

Anyway, despite still seeing the dancer I'm going to a chamber music performance (R. Strauss and Sibelius piano quartets)  next week with someone new I met. I'm aware this might be a case of literally too close to home, due to her living almost directly across the road from me. But if I'm going worry about that I'll worry about it later.

The thing about Ravel is I don't think he really cared to have a woman in his life. I mean this is obviously speculation on my part, but he did frequent brothels to fulfill his sexual urges, so perhaps he thought he didn't need a woman to complicate his creative life? Interestingly enough, I remember reading that he developed feelings for the composer named Germaine Tailleferre (later a member of Les Six). I don't believe he acted on this or anything happened.

Best of luck on your date. That seems like a good concert. Have a great time!

[NikF]

The thing about Ravel is I don't think he really cared to have a woman in his life. I mean this is obviously speculation on my part, but he did frequent brothels to fulfill his sexual urges, so perhaps he thought he didn't need a woman to complicate his creative life? Interestingly enough, I remember reading that he developed feelings for the composer named Germaine Tailleferre (later a member of Les Six). I don't believe he acted on this or anything happened.

Interesting, I didn't know that about Ravel and his feelings for Tailleferre.
Somewhere in my office there's a small pile of books about composers that I'll one day get around to reading.

Best of luck on your date. That seems like a good concert. Have a great time!

Thanks, man. My big mouth strikes again.
Yeah, I've been looking forward to that concert. And she's an amateur musician (violin) so there's every chance I might be at a concert with someone who actually enjoys the music for a change.

[Mirror Image]

Interesting, I didn't know that about Ravel and his feelings for Tailleferre.
Somewhere in my office there's a small pile of books about composers that I'll one day get around to reading.

I forget where exactly I read this (perhaps Roger Nichols' Ravel biography). I'd like to know exactly why he never acted on his feelings. He was always a private person and honestly I'm surprised there's as much information about him at all, but perhaps there's really not much to tell aside from what we already know and have read about.

Thanks, man. My big mouth strikes again.
Yeah, I've been looking forward to that concert. And she's an amateur musician (violin) so there's every chance I might be at a concert with someone who actually enjoys the music for a change.

That's always a plus when you can enjoy music with someone that has an ear for this music as well. Is this woman attractive? That's always a plus, too.

[NikF]

I forget where exactly I read this (perhaps Roger Nichols' Ravel biography). I'd like to know exactly why he never acted on his feelings. He was always a private person and honestly I'm surprised there's as much information about him at all, but perhaps there's really not much to tell aside from what we already know and have read about.

Yeah that's the one I have. And I found it easier than I thought I would. Excuse the crappy shot -

That's always a plus when you can enjoy music with someone that has an ear for this music as well. Is this woman attractive? That's always a plus, too.

She is attractive, yes. At least, I think so. Also, she seems kind of posh. And while not as young as I first thought (maybe her hoody and jeans threw me a little ) she seems to be late 20s or early 30s and so younger than me. Indeed, it is all a plus. 

[Mirror Image]

Yeah that's the one I have. And I found it easier than I thought I would. Excuse the crappy shot -




She is attractive, yes. At least, I think so. Also, she seems kind of posh. And while not as young as I first thought (maybe her hoody and jeans threw me a little ) she seems to be late 20s or early 30s and so younger than me. Indeed, it is all a plus. 

Very nice! Nothing wrong with posh as long as her personality is down-to-earth.

[NikF]

Very nice! Nothing wrong with posh as long as her personality is down-to-earth.

Yeah, down to earth. First impressions are that she's kind of laid back. But even with the casual hoody/jeans look she appears well groomed

And it was funny, because she lives in one of the houses that a while back was converted into four(?) separate apartments. When they did that they paved the front garden for parking and put a gate at the end of the driveway. She couldn't get the gate open and so I casually strolled over to do it courtesy of my biceps and triceps and stuff and...couldn't move it even an inch. So I climbed over the wall, but because I'm not tall I had to take a run at it and then leap and haul myself over. There were so many moments it could have all gone horribly wrong.

[vandermolen]

Yeah, down to earth. First impressions are that she's kind of laid back. But even with the casual hoody/jeans look she appears well groomed

And it was funny, because she lives in one of the houses that a while back was converted into four(?) separate apartments. When they did that they paved the front garden for parking and put a gate at the end of the driveway. She couldn't get the gate open and so I casually strolled over to do it courtesy of my biceps and triceps and stuff and...couldn't move it even an inch. So I climbed over the wall, but because I'm not tall I had to take a run at it and then leap and haul myself over. There were so many moments it could have all gone horribly wrong.

A good friend of mine, in order to impress a girl on a first date, decided to jump over one of the crash barriers in the local station car park - he didn't quite make it, tripped over and fell flat on his face on the tarmac. The relationship didn't last. Let that be a terrible warning to you all. 

[greg]

No, the actual worst case is that she has lied and is married and she expects you to listen to her complain about it. 

The horror! 

A good friend of mine, in order to impress a girl on a first date, decided to jump over one of the crash barriers in the local station car park - he didn't quite make it, tripped over and fell flat on his face on the tarmac. The relationship didn't last. Let that be a terrible warning to you all. 

Smooth 

[NikF]

A good friend of mine, in order to impress a girl on a first date, decided to jump over one of the crash barriers in the local station car park - he didn't quite make it, tripped over and fell flat on his face on the tarmac. The relationship didn't last. Let that be a terrible warning to you all. 

Yeah, that's the sort of thing I was wary of. I mean, in my house I now have pull up bars fitted in three different doorways and I do a few pullups every time I pass. It's relatively easy and so I was confident. But this is real life and so heroic gestures involving 'you are pretty and a nice shape, now please watch how cool I am at launching myself up and over this high wall' holds at least huge potential to be a lesson in humility...