Missing Members

[Symphonic Addict]

Just noticed that Pohjola's Daughter deleted her account!

[Karl Henning]

Just noticed that Pohjola's Daughter deleted her account!

Crikey!

[NumberSix]

Just noticed that Pohjola's Daughter deleted her account!

Wow! That's unfortunate. She seemed so likable and enthusiastic.

[Bachtoven]

That's a shame. I wonder what happened. I haven't noticed any arguments or contentious posts.

[Symphonic Addict]

Wow! That's unfortunate. She seemed so likable and enthusiastic.

Indeed! Let's hope she comes back. I think the recent conversation on the Debussy thread triggered her leaving.

[NumberSix]

That's a shame. I wonder what happened. I haven't noticed any arguments or contentious posts.

Small squabble this morning, where one member was arguably rude to her. I think those comments have been deleted.

But as I say, it seemed small. Maybe there was a pattern we didn't notice, or something.

[NumberSix]

Indeed! Let's hope she comes back. I think the recent conversation on the Debussy thread triggered her leaving.

My thoughts as well.
Must have been a last straw because by itself it wasn't too harsh.

[Bachtoven]

Small squabble this morning, where one member was arguably rude to her. I think those comments have been deleted.

But as I say, it seemed small. Maybe there was a pattern we didn't notice, or something.

I guess I missed it. It would be great if someone disagrees with an opinion to just keep scrolling. (Unless it's an egregious falsehood or something.) I can hardly imagine a greater waste of time than arguing with strangers online, and to be rude on top of it is just too much. I've had a few dust-ups on this and other forums, but now I try to consider the source and move on.

I will miss her posts and humanity. She was so kind to me when I went through the horror of euthanatizing my two cats last year and losing my sister a few weeks ago. I hope she will reconsider.

[Karl Henning]

I guess I missed it. It would be great if someone disagrees with an opinion to just keep scrolling. (Unless it's an egregious falsehood or something.) I can hardly imagine a greater waste of time than arguing with strangers online, and to be rude on top of it is just too much. I've had a few dust-ups on this and other forums, but now I try to consider the source and move on.

I will miss her posts and humanity. She was so kind to me when I went through the horror of euthanatizing my two cats last year and losing my sister a few weeks ago. I hope she will reconsider.

PD has been a superb, neighborly and level-headed participant, unfailingly considerate and kind, slow to take offense I wish I might say this of everyone. This is all I shall say of the matter.

[Brian]

Yes, someone made a rude, combative, sexist remark to her; we deleted it and warned the person. PD sent us a PM to thank us but then left.

There is certainly a pattern - across multiple people, multiple forum sections, and multiple months/years - of bullying and "rowdy boys" behavior that PD has reported to us repeatedly when she sees it. Some people forget sometimes that their words have consequences and that they cannot perfectly read the minds of other users here. I am probably supposed to sound calmer, but I liked PD so much, enjoyed chatting with her and trading cat stories and was about to let her know I'm all better after covid so she can stop sending me soup. Instead, I'm frankly very upset.

[Karl Henning]

Yes, someone made a rude, combative, sexist remark to her; we deleted it and warned the person. PD sent us a PM to thank us but then left.

There is certainly a pattern - across multiple people, multiple forum sections, and multiple months/years - of bullying and "rowdy boys" behavior that PD has reported to us repeatedly when she sees it. Some people forget sometimes that their words have consequences and that they cannot perfectly read the minds of other users here. I am probably supposed to sound calmer, but I liked PD so much, enjoyed chatting with her and trading cat stories and was about to let her know I'm all better after covid so she can stop sending me soup. Instead, I'm frankly very upset.

Of course you are, dear fellow. 

[Henk]

Yes, someone made a rude, combative, sexist remark to her; we deleted it and warned the person. PD sent us a PM to thank us but then left.

There is certainly a pattern - across multiple people, multiple forum sections, and multiple months/years - of bullying and "rowdy boys" behavior that PD has reported to us repeatedly when she sees it. Some people forget sometimes that their words have consequences and that they cannot perfectly read the minds of other users here. I am probably supposed to sound calmer, but I liked PD so much, enjoyed chatting with her and trading cat stories and was about to let her know I'm all better after covid so she can stop sending me soup. Instead, I'm frankly very upset.

It's bad. On Instagram similar problems.

I have a confession to make. Lethevich probably left because of me. I wasn't so much rude, but slightly sexist and made some weird commments in my chat. I liked her a lot, I didn't want to do bad, but in those days I was frequently psychotic and my mind was sometimes unclear even when in better shape. She didn't know about my situation.

I also liked PD. As far as I know she had no problem with me.

Seems though she has made her decision. Maybe in the guidelines some text can be added to advance courteous behaviour. Maybe this can change her mind. Policies matter. It's painful that a widely appreciated member who apparently liked to post here is bullied away.

[Brian]

Can't that person be permanently banned, including his IP address? I don't think a mere "warning" is enough.

Our admin/owner has always had an attitude that this should be avoided, I can only recall two active people who have been permanently banned in my 20 years here, but clearly the current policy is not working and we need to develop new solutions.

[DavidW]

PD sent me some really kind PMs when I put my pet dog down. I will miss her. I hope she comes back.

[Henk]

PD sent me some really kind PMs when I put my pet dog down. I will miss her. I hope she comes back.

Likewise.

She brought light. A very uplifting spirit. Full of charm in her writings.

[Le Buisson Ardent]

The rude member PD had an interaction with was me. I'm not going to get into the details other than to tell her that I'm terribly sorry that our spat (if you want to even call it that) ended up with her deleting her account. @Brian is correct in that we can never anticipate how what we write will affect another member. If Brian recalls, he said some rather insulting things about me on this very thread and never apologized to me and that's fine if this is how he wants to treat other people (perhaps I'm nothing more than a piece of dirt to him), but what you say does affect other people and the same applies to @Karl Henning who unfriended me on Facebook some years ago because I didn't share his same political views when I commented on one of his posts.

Hopefully, PD will return and if she does decide to do so, I hope she knows that I'm sorry for everything.

[hopefullytrusting]

Our admin/owner has always had an attitude that this should be avoided, I can only recall two active people who have been permanently banned in my 20 years here, but clearly the current policy is not working and we need to develop new solutions.

Why not something like a the strike policy?

I'm not a fan of banning either, but a warning without real consequence isn't a warning. That's one thing that bring a professor has reinforced. Lol.

[Le Buisson Ardent]

Why not something like a the strike policy?

I'm not a fan of banning either, but a warning without real consequence isn't a warning. That's one thing that bring a professor has reinforced. Lol.

If there was a strike policy implemented, I'd be banned in a week...lol.

[Le Buisson Ardent]

If that's true, my friend, you need to chill.

I'm making a joke, but what I'm saying is I say things from time to time that probably make some members want to pull their hair out in frustration. I'm not trying to hurt people's feelings nor do I purposely make it my mission here to "offend" people. Perhaps what I wrote to PD was as another member suggested the straw that broke the camel's back for her so to speak. It would've been nice for her to tell me in a PM that she didn't like what I wrote and I would've done my best to patch things up with her, but she's gone now so I'll never get that chance.

[steve ridgway]

This is sad, she was always very positive and pleasant, but thanks @Brian and @Mirror Image for letting us know what happened.