Missing Members

[NumberSix]

 member I miss on GMG is mc ukrneal. It is frustrating not to know why people go away. In this case he offered no explanation, he suddenly was gone.

Sometimes you don't leave a forum because you're angry. I was massively involved in a number of wrestling forums from about 2008-2011. Posting multiple times a day, interacting with those people on twitter and youtube, and so on. One day I just got burned out on it all. It started to feel like a job.

I have never enjoyed wrestling so much since, to be honest, though I still like it.

See also: Doctor Who. I was a big participant at GallifreyBase for a few years, and then I just lost interest.

[Szykneij]

I have difficulty understanding why members go through the trouble of deleting their accounts, especially if they're not attempting to make a statement. The forum says I've been a member since 2007 when the new software was installed, although I've continually been here even longer than that. I don't post much, but I generally check in at least once a day to see if there's anything of interest. There are stretches where life dictates I need to focus on other things and I might not log in for a while, but I don't feel the need to delete my account. I certainly appreciate GMG and would feel a loss if it was gone, but if an on-line forum becomes one of the most important things in someone's life, that seems like a red flag to me. There's more to enjoy in the real world, and more to worry about as well.

[vandermolen]

I have difficulty understanding why members go through the trouble of deleting their accounts, especially if they're not attempting to make a statement. The forum says I've been a member since 2007 when the new software was installed, although I've continually been here even longer than that. I don't post much, but I generally check in at least once a day to see if there's anything of interest. There are stretches where life dictates I need to focus on other things and I might not log in for a while, but I don't feel the need to delete my account. I certainly appreciate GMG and would feel a loss if it was gone, but if an on-line forum becomes one of the most important things in someone's life, that seems like a red flag to me. There's more to enjoy in the real world, and more to worry about as well.

I very much agree with you. Deleting one's account seems like a bit of a passive-aggressive statement to me. If I didn't want to post here any more I would simply stop posting. I had some nice exchanges with PD about music, cats, the Royal Family etc but it did not especially surprise me when she left the forum.

[Karl Henning]

I have difficulty understanding why members go through the trouble of deleting their accounts, especially if they're not attempting to make a statement. The forum says I've been a member since 2007 when the new software was installed, although I've continually been here even longer than that. I don't post much, but I generally check in at least once a day to see if there's anything of interest. There are stretches where life dictates I need to focus on other things and I might not log in for a while, but I don't feel the need to delete my account. I certainly appreciate GMG and would feel a loss if it was gone, but if an on-line forum becomes one of the most important things in someone's life, that seems like a red flag to me. There's more to enjoy in the real world, and more to worry about as well.

Always delighted to see you, Tony!

[DavidW]

For absolutely anyone on the forum, if you want a break, PLEASE DO NOT DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT, no matter how satisfying it might be in the moment.

The forum software is currently not allowing people to re-register. You go through the motions, but the member list is not populated with your entry, and we mods then can't re-approve you.

The last time someone successfully registered was September 7. And this happened back in the summer as well.

[vandermolen]

Always delighted to see you, Tony!

Yes, same here 

[Henk]

I certainly appreciate GMG and would feel a loss if it was gone, but if an on-line forum becomes one of the most important things in someone's life, that seems like a red flag to me. There's more to enjoy in the real world, and more to worry about as well.

True, one (I for example) must be careful not to lose one's life: some things are primary (e.g. real world contacts, food, shelter, profession, even music, a good book), other things secundary (e.g. many books, newspaper, hobby), and there are things tertiary (such as social media, GMG, tv, movies), though they can be of value. The thing is however one can feel friendship or love online.

[DavidW]

Btw I found a workaround for us mods not being notified to approve newly registered members.

If you know of anyone who has tried to come back, please let us know so we can find them and approve them. And if you are a missing member lurking on this thread, please get in touch with someone you know on the forum to PM one of us mods with the handle or email so you can be approved.

I'm sure Rob will eventually find a resolution to this and other forum bugs.

[Symphonic Addict]

Yet another member who decided to leave and deleted his account: ShineyMcShineShine.

[Madiel]

Yet another member who decided to leave and deleted his account: ShineyMcShineShine.

Oh dear.

[Karl Henning]

That's too bad.

[Harry]

Almost an epidemic it seems, people leaving. But then again I have been on this site for decades, and frankly, saw a lot of them go. There are many registering, but never get active, or very rarely. It's a fact to live with I guess.

[vandermolen]

Almost an epidemic it seems, people leaving. But then again I have been on this site for decades, and frankly, saw a lot of them go. There are many registering, but never get active, or very rarely. It's a fact to live with I guess.

Sometimes they come back under a different name.

[foxandpeng]

Sometimes they come back under a different name.

Sadly, sometimes they don't! We live in more reactionary days, I think, with folk choosing to walk rather than resolve when taking offence at real or perceived slights. People don't need to continue in places where they feel hurt or unwelcome, but it is a shame when valued members respond in sadness, in anger or in haste to conflict. I confess to never having had any difficult conversations here, beyond a single incident of misunderstanding with W A Mozart (who also appears to have gone quiet) but even then it is preferable to smile and keep going rather than acting rashly.

[Karl Henning]

We live in more reactionary days, I think, with folk choosing to walk rather than resolve when taking offence at real or perceived slights....

As a general thing, I think your point is good. If N. says something mean to me, I'll let it roll off my back. But take this hypothetical scenario:
Given a localized Internet environment in which there are few female participants.
Given a frequent participant (N²) who is periodically brusque, even aggressive in pushing back against our fellow participants.
Given a (statistically rare, as posited above) female member to whom N² directs a pointedly demeaning, sexist remark.
Even allowing for a (natural) degree of emotional element to the decision to delete one's account, I think that "if I can be the target of such blatant toxicity in this environment, I'll none of it, thank you very much" is largely rational and sensible self care.

[foxandpeng]

As a general thing, I think your point is good. If N. says something mean to me, I'll let it roll off my back. But take this hypothetical scenario:
Given a localized Internet environment in which there are few female participants.
Given a frequent participant (N²) who is periodically brusque, even aggressive in pushing back against our fellow participants.
Given a (statistically rare, as posited above) female member to whom N² directs a pointedly demeaning, sexist remark.
Even allowing for a (natural) degree of emotional element to the decision to delete one's account, I think that "if I can be the target of such blatant toxicity in this environment, I'll none of it, thank you very much" is largely rational and sensible self care.

Yup. Absolutely no problem with that. There is a difference, is there not, between a slight and something deeper or more toxic?

In the broader context of a culture of joining and leaving, the general point persists, I think. It certainly can't be taken and applied to all specific or individual hurts. Context is king.

[Karl Henning]

Yup. Absolutely no problem with that. There is a difference, is there not, between a slight and something deeper or more toxic?

In the broader context of a culture of joining and leaving, the general point persists, I think. It certainly can't be taken and applied to all specific or individual hurts. Context is king.

Indeed it is, my friend!

[Florestan]

Guys, you might have not noticed but PD is back, as Kalevala. 

[Le Buisson Ardent]

Guys, you might have not noticed but PD is back, as Kalevala. 

I have noticed and I responded to her in the 'How's The Weather' thread. Thanks for the alert. There's absolutely no need for her to hide and I ensured to her that I hope we can put this behind us.

[Kalevala]

I'm not hiding.  And your post to Karl H. here was horrible "little snowflake"!  I don't know whether you had second thoughts or the mods deleted it.  I'm trying hard to be kind to you; however, you're not making it easy.  I truly want the best for you.

K