Rejected Groucho Marx Character Names

[Brian]

Saw this trend on Twitter - promoted by the comedian Patton Oswalt - and thought that GMG might enjoy playing the game.

Basically, come up with good names for Groucho Marx characters. Extra credit for head-scratching innuendos.

From around Twitter:
The Hon. Rev. Hercules Goosecreamer [Patton Oswalt]
Doctor Oddbody P. Thorendueller
Dr. Filmore Z. Wafflewaggon
Hon. Walter F. Goggins

Here are my first two:
Dartington L. Butterballs-LeStrange
Sir Simon Wensley Weaselwords, Esq.

EDIT: For reference, here are some real Groucho characters:
Prof. Quincy Adams Wagstaff
Rufus T. Firefly
Otis B. Driftwood
S. Quentin Quale
Wolf J. Flywheel
Lionel Q. Devereaux
George Schmidlap

[karlhenning]

I think he was an attorney, part of the firm Flywheel, Shyster & Flywheel . . . I may have that not quite right . . . .

[Cato]

In his early 60's, Groucho played Emile Keck in a movie with Frank Sinatra  and the incredible    Jane Russell  which was entitled Double Dynamite, a title perhaps referring more to Jane Russell than to Groucho and Frank.

Sinatra got third billing!  The bobby-soxer mania was over by that time, and Frank was in danger of being thrown upon the dung-heap of teenybopper idols.

"Keck" is German for "smart-alecky" or as some old-fashioned dictionaries have it, "cheeky."   

Bruckner called his Sixth Symphony the "cheekiest."  "Die Sechste ist die Keckste.

[karlhenning]

Bruckna was gangsta.

[Cato]

Bruckna was gangsta.

Behind the simple peasant facade, what lurked in Bruckner's id only The Shadow would know!

[Grazioso]

Reminds me of Victorian novelist Anthony Trollope, who often used joke/punning names for lesser characters:

Dr. Fillgrave
Sir Omicron Pie
Sir Abraham Haphazard
Mr. Quiverful
Mr. Cheeseacre
etc.

Dickens is of course famous for even greater anthroponomastic weirdness, with characters sporting surnames like:

Honeythunder
Jellyby
Headstone
Podsnap
Buzfuz
and on and on

[Grazioso]

Bruckna was gangsta.

[Brian]

Well, when it comes to novelists with great character names, we can't leave out David Foster Wallace, whose The Broom of the System featured Stonecipher Beadsman III, Richard "Dick" Vigorous (partner in the firm Frequent & Vigorous), Candy Mandible, and the exquisite Judith Prietht.

[Sergeant Rock]

Well, when it comes to novelists with great character names, we can't leave out David Foster Wallace

or Thomas Pynchon:

Leonard "El Drano" Loosemeat
Rudy Blatnoyd
Petunia Leeway
Trillium Fortnight
Dr. Buddy Tubside
Randolph Driblette
Benny Profane
Pig Bodine
Tyrone Slothrop
Pierce Inverarity
Dr. Hilarious
And my favorite Pynchon protagonist, Oedipa Maas

[karlhenning]

. . . And my favorite Pynchon protagonist, Oedipa Maas

How she got in my pajamas, I'll never know.

[Grazioso]

Pig Bodine

"Uncle Jed, I done found my long-lost cousin, Pig!"