The Dating Thread

[Henk]

(Shakes head) Love is not just word, Henk. Love is one of the most powerful things on this planet. Without it, there would be nothing good happening. Your life may seem bleak (for now), but don't give up. Never give up. She's out there and even if she isn't, this doesn't mean love has no meaning. There are many facets to this ever-evolving force of nature.

There's goodness, but that's not the same as love.

What's the difference between love and sex according to you? Where do they join? I think there's no real difference.

There's no girl who has some love for me, John, I've never meet one, but I love every pretty girl. Love in the sense of attraction and caring. That's my case. Simple as that.

Henk

[ibanezmonster]

There's goodness, but that's not the same as love.

What's the difference between love and sex according to you? Where do they join? I think there's no real difference.

There's no girl who has some love for me, John, I've never meet one, but I love every pretty girl. Love in the sense of attraction and caring. That's my case. Simple as that.

Henk

Totally...

wait, I'm actually understanding what Henk is saying?

*universe explodes*

[Henk]

John, according to Nietzsche love has to be learnt. He compares with music. Read this interesting aphorism:

http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_FOURTH_BOOK_.aspx?S=334

[Henk]

What's the difference between love and sex according to you? Where do they join? I think there's no real difference.

Henk

I mean, John, it's all rather sex. Sex is a much more physical thing and can be defined. That's much more difficult with what is called love. There is a lot grey area: sex, attraction, caring, emphathy, goodness, but love is not the essence of it, as you might think, on the contrary. Those things can be defined, love not. You make it some kind of force of nature, a metaphysical thing, but again, try to define it.. Do you think other animals experience love? No, do you think it's just a human thing? Why use it in the context of nature then? You make some vague spiritual notion of it? That's the impression you make.

Nietzsche offers, in the aphorism I mentioned, an interesting notion of love. I can see it that way. You might find Stendhal's notion more interesting, explained in his book "Love". He described it as a highly passionate thing, but I can't agree with it, for the arguments I've put forward.

Also have a look at this aphorism by Nietzsche, "What is called Love":
http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_FIRST_BOOK_.aspx?S=14

Really interesting. This describes things how they are. In the other aphorism Nietzsche gives his vision of love, a rather different notion. Very interesting.

[Henk]

And this is how it works with sex, aphorism "Benevolence":
http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_THIRD_BOOK_.aspx?S=118

To say the truth with me, and I reveal it here (I think it's good to talk about), my case is that my instinct is that of submission. With any girl. Because I'm rather a tiny nature, not nothing, but something. That's the special thing about me. But I'm hard. I like to love girls with my hands and tongue on their body, I think I'm better in it than any man. But one it comes to sex actually I am submissive.

"Gladness and covetousness are united in the stronger person, who wants to transform something to his function: gladness and desire - to be coveted in the weaker person, who would like to become a function.  The former case is essentially pity, a pleasant excitation of the instinct of appropriation at the sight of the weak."

I am not weak, Nietsche adds " it is to be remembered, however, that "strong" and "weak" are relative conceptions." But I'm weak when it comes to coitus. I simply too much like for pretty girls being strong.

Girls can fuck a guy too!

This is the opposite with Greg I think. Greg is caring as well, but has the instinct of appropriation. But we are simply too caring, is that right Greg, to get sexual pleasure. It's rather abnormal I think. Maybe Greg will succeed however.

But girls are not interested in me. Or they all are. 0:)

Henk

[ibanezmonster]

And this is how it works with sex, aphorism "Benevolence":
http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_THIRD_BOOK_.aspx?S=118

To say the truth with me, and I reveal it here (I think it's good to talk about), my case is that my instinct is that of submission. With any girl. Because I'm rather a tiny nature, not nothing, but something. That's the special thing about me. But I'm hard. I like to love girls with my hands and tongue on their body, I think I'm better in it than any man. But one it comes to sex actually I am submissive.

"Gladness and covetousness are united in the stronger person, who wants to transform something to his function: gladness and desire - to be coveted in the weaker person, who would like to become a function.  The former case is essentially pity, a pleasant excitation of the instinct of appropriation at the sight of the weak."

I am not weak, Nietsche adds " it is to be remembered, however, that "strong" and "weak" are relative conceptions." But I'm weak when it comes to coitus. I simply too much like for pretty girls being strong.

Girls can fuck a guy too!

This is the opposite with Greg I think. Greg is caring as well, but has the instinct of appropriation. But we are simply too caring, is that right Greg, to get sexual pleasure. It's rather abnormal I think. Maybe Greg will succeed however.

But girls are not interested in me. Or they all are. 0:)

Henk

Well, I'm nice but I guess more of a domineering type.  I like the plot of To Love-ru, where the main character is expected to be king of the universe and have a huge harem and stuff- nice stuff.  I couldn't be submissive to a woman, so I guess that's different from you. But in reality, I'm too considerate of other people's feelings to do mean stuff, so even if I ever were in the position of a girl wanting me to do some really disrespectful stuff to her in the bedroom, I'm not sure I could even though I'd love to. If that makes any sense.

[Henk]

Well, I'm nice but I guess more of a domineering type.  I like the plot of To Love-ru, where the main character is expected to be king of the universe and have a huge harem and stuff- nice stuff.  I couldn't be submissive to a woman, so I guess that's different from you. But in reality, I'm too considerate of other people's feelings to do mean stuff, so even if I ever were in the position of a girl wanting me to do some really disrespectful stuff to her in the bedroom, I'm not sure I could even though I'd love to. If that makes any sense.

Ok, sounds quite normal. Why girls don't want to love you then? Do you have some thoughts about this or do you simply don't know? Too hestitative maybe, in some strange way?

[ibanezmonster]

Ok, sounds quite normal. Why girls don't want to love you then? Do you have some thoughts about this or do you simply don't know? Too hestitative maybe, in some strange way?

No idea... it's just a curse that if I like someone they don't like me and if they like me I don't like them. And it's never changed.

anyways, I did have two really nice dreams the last few days. In one, I was being hugged by two cute girls in a classroom and another, I was in the church gymnasium (of all places) and some girl gave me her leg to rub. Weird, but very nice. Just the warmth of being appreciated by some cute girls was very nice, even though they were just imaginary people I never saw before.

[Henk]

No idea... it's just a curse that if I like someone they don't like me and if they like me I don't like them. And it's never changed.

anyways, I did have two really nice dreams the last few days. In one, I was being hugged by two cute girls in a classroom and another, I was in the church gymnasium (of all places) and some girl gave me her leg to rub. Weird, but very nice. Just the warmth of being appreciated by some cute girls was very nice, even though they were just imaginary people I never saw before.

When you have a good job en earn money you will get a girlfriend, especially when you want to have kids. Then it's about a "serious relation", that's makes a difference I think. But I remember you said you don't want that? Then your chances are much lower I think, you might think different when you grow older.

However, everyone want to have a time in their live, the age when you go to school, just to have love without it being serious. To accept you can only have a "serious relation" is a hard and dissapointing thing.

[Henk]

And then Mr. Sunshine showed up!!

don't you live in Amsterdam or something... I mean,... hint hint?? (1)

Quoting Neechee is just a stone's throw from quoting St. Paul,... all that "acceptance",... brrrrrrrr,... (2)



I'm pretty deflated about all this myself,... now it's Friday night... AGAIN!! ... I can practically hear the sound of new born lovers mocking me,... AAAHHHH,... ,... that's something that must be quashed. 0:)




oh noes!... not the tears of self pity ,... no, not that ,... I ...I ... ... no, not tonight


Once More Into the Breach!!

(1) I seriously consider a callgirl. I think I'll do that in the nearby future. I just want to touch and kiss a girls body. Then half of my desire will be satisfied. An easy and perfect solution. All that talk about love.. However, a callgirl also can say she doesn't want things.. I don't want coitus, so this might be no problem. A callgirl isn't just a whore, intimacy is more important for a callgirl, I prefer this.

(2) I understand. He doesn't write I can't have a call girl or something.

In Beyond Good and Evil:

   Honesty, granting that it is the virtue of which we cannot rid ourselves, we free spirits - well, we will labour at it with all our perversity and love, and not tire of "perfecting" ourselves in OUR virtue, which alone remains: may its glance some day overspread like a gilded, blue, mocking twilight this aging civilization with its dull gloomy seriousness!  And if, nevertheless, our honesty should one day grow weary, and sigh, and stretch its limbs, and find us too hard, and would fain have it pleasanter, easier, and gentler, like an agreeable vice, let us remain HARD, we latest Stoics, and let us send to its help whatever devilry we have in us: - our disgust at the clumsy and undefined, our "NITIMUR IN VETITUM," our love of adventure, our sharpened and fastidious curiosity, our most subtle, disguised, intellectual Will to Power and universal conquest, which rambles and roves avidiously around all the realms of the future - let us go with all our "devils" to the help of our "God"!  It is probable that people will misunderstand and mistake us on that account: what does it matter!  They will say: "Their 'honesty' - that is their devilry, and nothing else!"  What does it matter!  And even if they were right - have not all Gods hitherto been such sanctified, re-baptized devils?  And after all, what do we know of ourselves?  And what the spirit that leads us wants TO BE CALLED?  (It is a question of names.)  And how many spirits we harbour?  Our honesty, we free spirits - let us be careful lest it become our vanity, our ornament and ostentation, our limitation, our stupidity!  Every virtue inclines to stupidity, every stupidity to virtue; "stupid to the point of sanctity," they say in Russia, - let us be careful lest out of pure honesty we eventually become saints and bores!  Is not life a hundred times too short for us - to bore ourselves?  One would have to believe in eternal life in order to .

Also this aphorism appeals to me. I think you like it better?
"NITIMUR IN VETITUM" "We strive for the forbidden" --> Callgirls, whores.

[Artem]

Where is this fear of women and intimacy coming from, guys?

[ibanezmonster]

Where is this fear of women and intimacy coming from, guys?

Who you talking about? 
Henk, maybe, but not me or John...


It's amazing how different some people do things. She wanted me to chill at her house tonight, but now she's tired and her mom's boyfriend is over. Seriously, my household is so different- I could just imagine the laughs I'd get telling my parents that a girl is coming over to hang out in my room at night. 

[Henk]

It's amazing how different some people do things. She wanted me to chill at her house tonight, but now she's tired and her mom's boyfriend is over. Seriously, my household is so different- I could just imagine the laughs I'd get telling my parents that a girl is coming over to hang out in my room at night. 

You're almost there..

[ibanezmonster]

You're almost there..

Haha, I wish.

[Henk]

Snyprrr and Greg:

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." (Nietzsche)

[Henk]

Who you talking about? 
Henk, maybe,

I am, in almost everything, an exception, Greg.

[Henk]

Speaking about danger and play. Men, going "the own way", being souvereign, I've done such crazy things (becoming souvereign was one of them actually), bussy with the greatest questions and tasks which man can imagine.. (what common people can't imagine). I know what it all was about, but I can't analyze all that, because it was too crazy, I can only call back what happened.

[Henk]

Thinking about things that happened. I can analyze things, but on the moment I did things, I did it on intuition. I did crazy things, and for some of them it's hard to analyze.

Much happened with me, during the last ten years. I have accomplished my task.

But things went right. That's the most important.

Also I have goals in my life again. Happy with it.

[ibanezmonster]

So, um... not sure if you could be any more vague with those last two posts if you tried, Henk. 

[Ken B]

So, um... not sure if you could be any more vague with those last two posts if you tried, Henk. 

I believe he is Hillary's speech writer.