The Dating Thread

[snyprrr]

Maybe there are overweight people here who read it.

Another aspect is:  Say there's a bigot, but he draws the line at saying aloud what he thinks.

The problem remains what he thinks.

Arrest Him for Thought Crimes


I would like to point out that it is the Scientific Community that came up with the guidelines for 'Morbidly Obese'. MORBIDLY so...


When I was getting married, right after, the guy's wife turns to my new wife and says, "Now, be sure to KEEP YOUR FIGURE!" 'Cause, donchakno- that IS what was important!!


You know, if people get bent out of shape they can go cut long gashes into their wrists- DID I INVENT THE "FATKINI"  NOOOOOO!!! The morbidly obese did.

STOP EATING THE LECITHAN!!!!!

True. Didn't think of that, sorry to anyone I may have indirectly ridiculed.

Greg, I'm starting to get that NO ONE ON THIS FORUM has had sex in a decade or more (except the Gay Men of course).

Really? Are you so afraid of hurting the feelings of the morbidly obese? It seems as if this group here wants you to respects someone's addiction to Chee-tos. Hell, they call alcoholism a Disease. Why isn't Overeating a Disease too?? Oh, well LOOK- it IS!!!

How many of you freakazoids have ever been to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting, huh?? I HAVE- guess what??? THERE'S RAIL THIN PEOPLE THERE TOO!!!!!!

Greg- they are f****** with your head here.

Getting back to Miss Pufferfish- can't you just SEE that a generation ago this young girl would have been thin- she's already got a pretty face, nice breasts, nice natural proportions- WHAT HAPPENED???

IT'S THE FOOD- as much as Karl likes to joke about it, today's intake of garbage food has destroyed the figure of the American Woman. So, if anything, we don't criticize someone for being fat, we criticize their foolish desire to feel good through sugar- IT'S AN ADDICTION.

And it totally effects the way you feel about yourself- the girl in the photo is all smiles there, but you don't think she looks in the mirror and sees a horror show?? WHAT??? You think she's PROUD of that inglorious heap of a muffin top?? WHAT??? "You go girl"??\

I think not.



\


Oh- I know------- it's your "thyroid"..... yea, sure it is


I see what you're putting in your cart at the store---- SODA SODA SODA  CHIPS CHIPS CHIPS COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES FROZENFOOD FROZENFOOD FROZENFOOD   BEER BEER BEER

endless fat calories


endless


Have you noticed how the word "shaming" has become the new 'racist' 'antisemite' 'sexist'?? THERE'S NO SHAME IN THIS SOCIETY ANYMORE

LET IT ALL ALL ALL HANG OUT.




A generation ago, Miss Pufferfish's mother would have shamed her daughter for looking like a dump--- now we're supposed to 'celebrate' her victory over 'mean comments'. You simpering weenies have destroyed any sense of personal responsibility in your quest to have your own piccadillos accepted, whatever they are.

It's funny how people are looking at that picture and ASSUMING so much. As if you think that guy doesn't want his girl to lose the gut.


Dear Men and Women,

LOSE THE GUT!!

Nobody likes it, not even you (even if you DO call it your "tool shed").




And most certainly we know this difference between "corn fed Midwestern farmer's daughter" and "morbidly obese". So do you- quit pretending like you don't.



You all should come with me to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting sometime... then we can talk. Sugar is a horrible drug- you're a junkie. Period.



You don't lift a finger- I'm not going to be nice to a loafer. Lose the gut.

True. Didn't think of that, sorry to anyone I may have indirectly ridiculed.

don't let them force humility on you---- no one wants to lift a gut to get to the garden--- NO ONE (not even the ones on here kvetching).



The Coddled Generation

"We're just victims, boo hoo"












LOOK- I APOLOGIZE for my seeming "devil's advocate for bigotry", but I think most of you are LYING to this Thread. The possibility that you all are guilty of what you accuse others of is too great. The Ugly Truth is called that for a reason?

I'd love to know who you "find" attractive. (usually something that happens with... the EYES!!!!!!)




"Oh yes, I could tell you were 'interesting' from across the room."




The kvetchers are in denial that they are probably the PICKIEST of all!!    no?     really?





... goes to unearth some Foucoult...

[Karl Henning]

STOP EATING THE [LECITHIN]!!!!!

I am in compliance.

IT'S THE FOOD- as much as Karl likes to joke about it, today's intake of garbage food has destroyed the figure of the average American Woman.

As emended, you have a point.

And I never joke about garbage food.

Well, hardly ever.

[ibanezmonster]

today's intake of garbage food has destroyed the figure of the American Woman.

That's the advantage of, say, Japanese women. 

I should probably mention my friend, who I'm going to be seeing more often now that I've switched gyms. Within a year, he goes from being obese to being buff and having low body fat. This is a two step process, too, meaning he lost the weight in about 6 months and gained muscles in another 6 months. The transformation was amazing as I saw it happen. He went to the gym right after he divorced his wife, who was/still is obese (and had an irritating personality at that) and he ended up dating a girl that is waaaaaaaaaay more attractive for a while once he transformed.

This guy would be the first one to make fun of people for their weight (though not in a completely mean spirited way, but mainly to motivate and encourage). But he really had to sacrifice his free time to achieve the results. There really should be no reason for being overweight other than genuine thyroid issues or a severe lack of time.

[Karl Henning]

This guy would be the first one to make fun of people for their weight (though not in a completely mean spirited way, but mainly to motivate and encourage).

But this is idiocy, or meanness, or some blend.  Mockery is lousy motivation;  and how much beer does a guy have to drink before he imagines that mockery is "encouragement"?

Will that work with music?  If we mock your composition or your playing, will that motivate/encourage you to write better, to practice more?

[ibanezmonster]

I neglected to say that I don't necessarily agree with that type of "motivation." Sometimes it can be effective, but I don't think it's the best way to go about things.

[kishnevi]

I neglected to say that I don't necessarily agree with that type of "motivation." Sometimes it can be effective, but I don't think it's the best way to go about things.

Actually, it is bullying, no matter what the intention. 

Greg,  I think in a few years time,  you'll recognize much of the stuff you said here to be embarrassingly immature.  Which I hope I say without any ill will:  you are young enough that the same could be said of much of what people your age say. 

As a practical matter (as much as practical advice is worth from an aspie who never allowed himself to get entangled in any serious relationship), severely cut back on the video games, and replace it with an activity involves mixing with members of the opposite sex.  (I don't mean bar hopping.)   Don't go looking for romance, or even quick sexual encounters.  Go looking for dealing with women.   The romance will come at its own pace once you start there.

[Madiel]

And, this is from a guy who is posting his photo and asking people what they think of his photo.

Can you imagine, Greg, if we'd responded to your photo the way you've responded to this woman's photo? Can you imagine if women are out there responding to your photo the way you did?

It's not just the fact that you dislike that woman's appearance. It's the fact that you went so far as to declare she's not a woman at all. You better damn well hope that the women out there aren't sneering at your image and declaring that because you're not a musclebound gym hunk falling out of his tank top but a classical music nerd, you're no man at all.

As I've mentioned, I'm gay. I can, if you like, deliver a critique of your appearance, and it won't be pretty, but you don't really need me for that because people have already told you it's not that great a photo. Up until now I've just been delivering a critique of your mind, and given how THAT'S going, I'm beginning to wonder just what it is you think you offer a prospective date.

[Mirror Image]

A few observations:

1.  If you're having some trouble getting women, stop making excuses by reading articles/books, blaming females or other guys.  Look to yourself.
2.  Women are not alien creatures; they're a lot like guys, so always emphasize the similarities. 
3.  Movies make for a great first date.  You can hear her breathe, smell her essence and even whisper in her ear.  By the time the movie is over, you'll know if you want to see her again.
4.  Be it God or Mother Nature, the getting together of a man and woman is totally natural.  Don't fret the lack of success, because the odds are in your favor.
5.  Don't be a phony.  Do be confident and proud of yourself.
6.  STOP WORRYING about it.  Just get out there and go for who you want.
7.  Make sure you don't spend most of your waking hours without women in the vicinity.  You can't date them if you can't meet them.

All excellent points, Sammy. Thanks for your post my friend. I've gained a lot more confidence in the last couple of years and reading posts like this really helps me out.

I, too, think this thread has taken a wrong turn and wish it would return to its' purpose: Greg finding a woman.

[Ken B]

But this is idiocy, or meanness, or some blend.  Mockery is lousy motivation;  and how much beer does a guy have to drink before he imagines that mockery is "encouragement"?

Will that work with music?  If we mock your composition or your playing, will that motivate/encourage you to write better, to practice more?

Your music sounds like it was written for nostalgic squirrels!!!!!!!!

[ibanezmonster]

And, this is from a guy who is posting his photo and asking people what they think of his photo.

Can you imagine, Greg, if we'd responded to your photo the way you've responded to this woman's photo? Can you imagine if women are out there responding to your photo the way you did?

Well, if I looked like a pufferfish, I obviously don't take care of myself and maybe I'm deserve it (excepting certain scenarios, previously mentioned).

It's not just the fact that you dislike that woman's appearance. It's the fact that you went so far as to declare she's not a woman at all.

Heh heh. Oh. well.

As I've mentioned, I'm gay. I can, if you like, deliver a critique of your appearance, and it won't be pretty, but you don't really need me for that because people have already told you it's not that great a photo. Up until now I've just been delivering a critique of your mind, and given how THAT'S going, I'm beginning to wonder just what it is you think you offer a prospective date.

Awww, you just wanna see me without my shirt on. Sorry, but you gotta pay the big bucks first. 

You better damn well hope that the women out there aren't sneering at your image and declaring that because you're not a musclebound gym hunk falling out of his tank top but a classical music nerd, you're no man at all.

Oh, so one can't be both? Hmmm....

[Madiel]

He still doesn't get it, folks.

[Ken B]

My second wife and her best girlfriend had a phrase. "Ugliness tolerance point". It's silly to pretend looks and attraction don't matter, but as long as someone is above your UTP, that should be enough.

[ibanezmonster]

My second wife and her best girlfriend had a phrase. "Ugliness tolerance point". It's silly to pretend looks and attraction don't matter, but as long as someone is above your UTP, that should be enough.

Lol, exactly.

[Madiel]

Of course looks matter. But there's a world of difference between trying to date people you find attractive, and finding it amusing to denigrate the appearance of another human being at the same time as asking other people to find YOU attractive.

If you want women to treat you as an interesting, complex, human being, then you're going to have to learn to treat them as interesting, complex, human beings. Instead of sounding like you walked out of this article: http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html

Oh, and if you want to find out what people REALLY want, you could do worse than reading here: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/07/07/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male/

[Karl Henning]

Your music sounds like it was written for nostalgic squirrels!!!!!!!!

And a grateful squirrel nation thanks me!

[snyprrr]

Lol, exactly.

soooo.... HER BOYFRIEND SHOWED UP LAST NIGHT

Thankfully I didn't have my arm around hjer at the moment, so I just looked like someone sitting there-

he's a drunkard- looks like Matthew Broderick (that really pissed me off--- actually he looked like "dickless" from 'Ghostbusters, haha!!)


boy, I tell ya-  that really sucked

NOW BEFORE YOU ALL castigate me about "what? she has a boyfriend?"- it's "COMPLICATED" apparently---- all that means is that I go home more miserable than when I got there...



Now, Greg, I've DAILY working or YOUR love life here by putting myself in these positions--- I don't feel like you're living up to your end--- how many girls did you get rejected by yesterday?



Now I'm off to play a NOON GIG___--- oy- who wants to play at NOON?? at least it's at the beautiful fairgrounds....

[ibanezmonster]

Of course looks matter. But there's a world of difference between trying to date people you find attractive, and finding it amusing to denigrate the appearance of another human being at the same time as asking other people to find YOU attractive.

I only asked (and this was months ago) earlier in the thread if the photo looked bad or not.

And like I said, I wouldn't say that to that lady's face. Everyone laughs at people behind their back every now and then. When we aren't in her vicinity, my friend and I laugh at a lady we work with who seems like "a robot desperately trying to imitate human behavior and failing." That's actually meaner, because you can't change your personality quite so easily, but that lady in the picture CHOSE to look that way, most likely. And what irritates me is the context of that picture, whether it is true or not, that she can sit on the couch and eat twinkies all day while her husband/boyfriend takes care of his body. It seemed to imply that she is just okay with looking that way and must be accepted. Sure, have a heart attack at age 40, sounds good.

If you want women to treat you as an interesting, complex, human being, then you're going to have to learn to treat them as interesting, complex, human beings. Instead of sounding like you walked out of this article: http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html

And I don't treat them that way? Sure... 
I think most of us can see the difference between reality and Hollywood, unlike how the article implies.

Oh, and if you want to find out what people REALLY want, you could do worse than reading here: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/07/07/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male/

This doesn't exactly conflict with some of the ideas I've read before about what constitutes an "alpha male," especially the "prestigious" characteristics.

[ibanezmonster]

I'd guess that this dude has an interesting personality and that's why this lady loves him. His weight is just fine. He is beautiful on the inside.

[lisa needs braces]

And like I said, I wouldn't say that to that lady's face. Everyone laughs at people behind their back every now and then. When we aren't in her vicinity, my friend and I laugh at a lady we work with who seems like "a robot desperately trying to imitate human behavior and failing." That's actually meaner, because you can't change your personality quite so easily, but that lady in the picture CHOSE to look that way, most likely.

Good guess.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2321812/Tammy-Jung-23-feeds-5000-calories-day-funnel-hope-obese-internet-star.html

[jochanaan]

... that lady in the picture CHOSE to look that way, most likely....

No, most likely she didn't.  Obesity is a complex issue, much more so than simple will power, getting into genetics and psychology.  And many psychoactive drugs actually cause major weight gain...