The Dating Thread

[ibanezmonster]

Once you get a woman, you'll have one hobby: keeping her happy.

Lol, I'm definitely out, then. I would never be happy throwing away my hobbies/skills for someone else. And I'm sure they'd pick up on that. 

Seriously, people shouldn't frown upon just living their separate lives and hooking up for a night or two a week, maybe spending a day a week together and just keeping it that simple. We live in a busy, independent-minded society, after all. That's ideal unless you're not busy or retired and have extra time.

[Mirror Image]

Lol, I'm definitely out, then. I would never be happy throwing away my hobbies/skills for someone else. And I'm sure they'd pick up on that. 

Seriously, people shouldn't frown upon just living their separate lives and hooking up for a night or two a week, maybe spending a day a week together and just keeping it that simple. We live in a busy, independent-minded society, after all. That's ideal unless you're not busy or retired and have extra time.

What it sounds like to me is you need to finish school first before even worrying about a relationship. You sound like you don't have any time at all.

[ibanezmonster]

What it sounds like to me is you need to finish school first before even worrying about a relationship. You sound like you don't have any time at all.

True. One more year.

[Brian]

Okay, I'm drunk, so there couldn't be a better time to tell this story.

Last (2013) May I was feeling lonely and sent a text message to my ex-girlfriend's number. Turns out it was, in fact, still her number. She replied and we agreed to meet one Friday afternoon in Austin, TX. I don't live in Austin, I live in Dallas; I was visiting Austin for my little brother's graduation. My motive for meeting her was to get a little drunk before the graduation ceremony, because it sounded like it would be pretty boring sober.

Unfortunately, as I found out later, she fell madly in love with me the very moment she saw me that day. I was just interested in drinking a bit and finding out what had happened to my ex. She was doing social work, making a pittance and dealing with tons of stress. I had, and still have, a pretty great job in Dallas. We caught up and agreed to meet again if we ever visited each other's cities.

A few weeks later she visited Dallas, stayed with a friend, but went out one night with me. Then she visited Dallas again, this time staying with me. We had a little too much and started getting, uh, friendly on my couch. She admitted she had fallen for me the very moment she saw me again. I admitted that I was tipsy. She demanded that, before we do anything else, we commit to a serious (long-distance) relationship. I wasn't ready to do that, obviously, but I was pretty desperate to date somebody, so I agreed to keep seeing her and find out what might happen.

We met occasionally for the next few months, in her city or mine. We kissed and cavorted and had fun. We talked. We didn't do anything R-rated. Maybe PG-13. I would have dated her if she lived near me. She was clearly falling in love, and I was clearly not. I was enjoying myself, don't get me wrong, but if you said, "Hey, Brian, you have to live with this girl morning and night for 30 years," I would have screamed and run away. It was just fun to me. And then one night the fun got very serious. We got in my bed, we got horizontal, we got scantily clad. We got into what you might (modestly) call The Preliminaries. And she said, "If you go any further, I need to know we're committed."

I stopped. She said, "Why did you stop?" "I'm feeling uncertain." An honest conversation followed, both of us in our underpants only. I asked her plans for overcoming the physical distance between us; she only said "Maybe it will work out somehow." I asked her to describe what it felt like to be in love with somebody; she described the heights of infatuated passion: your heart skipping a beat when someone enters a room, your soul feeling incomplete when someone is gone. I told her I hadn't felt that in years. She began to cry, grabbed her shirt, and left, sleeping on the couch the rest of the night. The next morning she showered, politely said goodbye, and left. I have not heard a word from her since.

She is a great person, and she was a good friend. I liked her and still do. We just were not a good, nor a practical, romantic couple. And as far as classical music goes, I gave her a couple CDs in high school. She played the "Nacht" finale of Strauss's Eine Alpensinfonie thinking a classical "night" would help her sleep. Instead it creeped her out and gave her nightmares. I've always thought of her listening to that music, ever since. I've thought of her plenty of other times too. But what can you do? Often your exes are best left in the past.

[Mirror Image]

Thanks for this story, Brian. Sometimes things are best when the parties agree to go their separate ways. BTW, do you get drunk often?

[ibanezmonster]

Your writing doesn't suffer when you get drunk.

[Brian]

Thanks for this story, Brian. Sometimes things are best when the parties agree to go their separate ways. BTW, do you get drunk often?

Probably in a two-week period I get legitimately drunk once and have a smart, limited number of drinks 3-4 times. Never have gotten "blackout" drunk or made terrible consequential drunk decisions, and have only had a couple mild hangovers.

[Mirror Image]

Probably in a two-week period I get legitimately drunk once and have a smart, limited number of drinks 3-4 times. Never have gotten "blackout" drunk or made terrible consequential drunk decisions, and have only had a couple mild hangovers.

Cool, Brian. At least you drink responsibly which more than I can say of some younger people I know.

[snyprrr]

Okay, I'm drunk, so there couldn't be a better time to tell this story.

Last (2013) May I was feeling lonely and sent a text message to my ex-girlfriend's number. Turns out it was, in fact, still her number. She replied and we agreed to meet one Friday afternoon in Austin, TX. I don't live in Austin, I live in Dallas; I was visiting Austin for my little brother's graduation. My motive for meeting her was to get a little drunk before the graduation ceremony, because it sounded like it would be pretty boring sober.

Unfortunately, as I found out later, she fell madly in love with me the very moment she saw me that day. I was just interested in drinking a bit and finding out what had happened to my ex. She was doing social work, making a pittance and dealing with tons of stress. I had, and still have, a pretty great job in Dallas. We caught up and agreed to meet again if we ever visited each other's cities.

A few weeks later she visited Dallas, stayed with a friend, but went out one night with me. Then she visited Dallas again, this time staying with me. We had a little too much and started getting, uh, friendly on my couch. She admitted she had fallen for me the very moment she saw me again. I admitted that I was tipsy. She demanded that, before we do anything else, we commit to a serious (long-distance) relationship. I wasn't ready to do that, obviously, but I was pretty desperate to date somebody, so I agreed to keep seeing her and find out what might happen.

We met occasionally for the next few months, in her city or mine. We kissed and cavorted and had fun. We talked. We didn't do anything R-rated. Maybe PG-13. I would have dated her if she lived near me. She was clearly falling in love, and I was clearly not. I was enjoying myself, don't get me wrong, but if you said, "Hey, Brian, you have to live with this girl morning and night for 30 years," I would have screamed and run away. It was just fun to me. And then one night the fun got very serious. We got in my bed, we got horizontal, we got scantily clad. We got into what you might (modestly) call The Preliminaries. And she said, "If you go any further, I need to know we're committed."

I stopped. She said, "Why did you stop?" "I'm feeling uncertain." An honest conversation followed, both of us in our underpants only. I asked her plans for overcoming the physical distance between us; she only said "Maybe it will work out somehow." I asked her to describe what it felt like to be in love with somebody; she described the heights of infatuated passion: your heart skipping a beat when someone enters a room, your soul feeling incomplete when someone is gone. I told her I hadn't felt that in years. She began to cry, grabbed her shirt, and left, sleeping on the couch the rest of the night. The next morning she showered, politely said goodbye, and left. I have not heard a word from her since.

She is a great person, and she was a good friend. I liked her and still do. We just were not a good, nor a practical, romantic couple. And as far as classical music goes, I gave her a couple CDs in high school. She played the "Nacht" finale of Strauss's Eine Alpensinfonie thinking a classical "night" would help her sleep. Instead it creeped her out and gave her nightmares. I've always thought of her listening to that music, ever since. I've thought of her plenty of other times too. But what can you do? Often your exes are best left in the past.

My first reaction is that you blew it.

30 years with her would reeeally have been that bad?



Time will tell if anyone better comes along, buuut... uncle snyprrr is just making the point that 10 years of 'alone' might mitigate against the 'fear' of '30 years' with the weaker vessel.

But it brings up a conundrum: would you rather be with someone who liked you more, or that you like more? Very rarely are two people liking each other exactly the same. I think I'd rather have the tear producer like me more- it just helps, that's all. The woman SHOULD love the man "more", in that regard- if you know what I mean.

Still- cool story bro





I'm getting in to my "winter's coming" desperation phase. I don't want to be alone - again- for another bone chiller, so, I'm ramping up for a take-no-prisoners total love bombing of womankind in order to secure a warm body for the coming ice-pocalypse.


I :'(DON'T :'(WANT :'(TO :'(BE :'(A :'(LOOOOOOONE

[Mirror Image]

Any updates, Greg? None here. It's like a desert here with tumbleweeds included.

[ibanezmonster]

Any updates, Greg? None here. It's like a desert here with tumbleweeds included.

At this point I don't even give a fuck. 

I might actually go to a party, though.  That girl I was talking about is having her 21st birthday party on a Friday night, so I could just imagine all the drunk people there.  Not that I'm extremely interested, but it might be something different to do.

[Mookalafalas]

My first reaction is that you blew it.

30 years with her would reeeally have been that bad?

My first reaction was that he just avoided not a bullet, but an atomic missile

[Brahmsian]

My first reaction was that he just avoided not a bullet, but an atomic missile

Ditto.  If it ain't there, it ain't there.  Trust your gut feeling, always.

[snyprrr]

All this EbolaDoom gets me itchin' for some PanicSex!!


But... oh yea... here we are... (chirp chirp)... (chirp chirp)...


My honey showed up with her drunk ass boyfriend last night at the venue- hey!, at least it's a start!!   


Will I ever kiss someone again before I start to bleed out of every pore? sigh


Sex By 8 (pm) Or It's Too Late

[Mookalafalas]

Ditto.  If it ain't there, it ain't there.  Trust your gut feeling, always.

More than that, if a woman gets you worked up, but then wants you to sign a contract before you get what she's waving in front of your nose, get the hell out of there.  That's unscrupulous behavior.  Same strategy the devil uses in stories.  Same result: regrets and, eventually, hell.

[ibanezmonster]

More than that, if a woman gets you worked up, but then wants you to sign a contract before you get what she's waving in front of your nose, get the hell out of there.  That's unscrupulous behavior.  Same strategy the devil uses in stories.  Same result: regrets and, eventually, hell.

Lol, true 
Of course, Brian could have changed his mind afterwards and claimed she tried to rape him. 

kidding, of course...

[Brahmsian]

More than that, if a woman gets you worked up, but then wants you to sign a contract before you get what she's waving in front of your nose, get the hell out of there.  That's unscrupulous behavior.  Same strategy the devil uses in stories.  Same result: regrets and, eventually, hell.

Yes, agreed!   

[snyprrr]

More than that, if a woman gets you worked up, but then wants you to sign a contract before you get what she's waving in front of your nose, get the hell out of there.  That's unscrupulous behavior.  Same strategy the devil uses in stories.  Same result: regrets and, eventually, hell.

brrrrrrr.... is this the 'Ghost Story Thread' or whaaat? You tell a scary

[Mookalafalas]

brrrrrrr.... is this the 'Ghost Story Thread' or whaaat? You tell a scary

Are  you joking? You're the one who said he "blew it"-- something like "What, you'd turn down 7 minutes of action for a mere 30 years of commitment to a desperate manipulative woman?" (That may be an overly rough paraphrase, I don't want to scroll up and check).

[Rinaldo]

Funny, how you turn Brian's "great person, and a good friend" into a "desperate and manipulative" woman that "got him worked up". Yeah, blame that fiery witch who dared to fall in love with a man and wanted to know if the feeling is mutual. Sometimes, this forum really feels like a trip back to the 19th century. Historically informed posting I guess!