The Dating Thread

[ibanezmonster]

Funny, how you turn Brian's "great person, and a good friend" into a "desperate and manipulative" woman that "got him worked up". Yeah, blame that fiery witch who dared to fall in love with a man and wanted to know if the feeling is mutual. Sometimes, this forum really feels like a trip back to the 19th century. Historically informed posting I guess!

That was rather harsh, I agree, but that's not the time and situation to ask that type of question.

[Rinaldo]

That was rather harsh, I agree, but that's not the time and situation to ask that type of question.

Quite the contrary. It's easy to get carried away in a situation like this and from what Brian wrote, it seems the woman simply didn't want to get carried all the way unless she was sure this wasn't just a fling.

[NorthNYMark]

Funny, how you turn Brian's "great person, and a good friend" into a "desperate and manipulative" woman that "got him worked up". Yeah, blame that fiery witch who dared to fall in love with a man and wanted to know if the feeling is mutual. Sometimes, this forum really feels like a trip back to the 19th century. Historically informed posting I guess!

That was rather harsh, I agree, but that's not the time and situation to ask that type of question.

Quite the contrary. It's easy to get carried away in a situation like this and from what Brian wrote, it seems the woman simply didn't want to get carried all the way unless she was sure this wasn't just a fling.

I agree with Rinaldo here 100%. Moreover, I think the story shows an uncommon level of maturity on the parts of both Brian and his friend.  Often, when peoples' feelings for one another have such different intensity levels, both of them sort of realize it, but may be inclined to stay in denial.  In this case, I think Brian's friend was smart to trust her instinct to get reassurance that he was feeling the same way before going even further.  It also shows that she trusted him to give her an honest answer--and the fact that he answered honestly demonstrated that he was worthy of that trust, though it made for a painful evening for both of them.  I suspect that, had he not been honest, or had she not had the courage to risk ruining the moment by asking the question, the pain would have been far, far greater for both of them further down the road.

[Mookalafalas]

I agree with Rinaldo here 100%. Moreover, I think the story shows an uncommon level of maturity on the parts of both Brian and his friend.  Often, when peoples' feelings for one another have such different intensity levels, both of them sort of realize it, but may be inclined to stay in denial.  In this case, I think Brian's friend was smart to trust her instinct to get reassurance that he was feeling the same way before going even further.  It also shows that she trusted him to give her an honest answer--and the fact that he answered honestly demonstrated that he was worthy of that trust, though it made for a painful evening for both of them.  I suspect that, had he not been honest, or had she not had the courage to risk ruining the moment by asking the question, the pain would have been far, far greater for both of them further down the road.

  Yeah, perhaps you're right. My apologies if I painted things too cynically. I'm well into middle age, and have had a lot of partners over the years and maybe have just forgotten what it was like for girls who took things that seriously.  That said, I'd still run away.

[snyprrr]

Funny, how you turn Brian's "great person, and a good friend" into a "desperate and manipulative" woman that "got him worked up". Yeah, blame that fiery witch who dared to fall in love with a man and wanted to know if the feeling is mutual. Sometimes, this forum really feels like a trip back to the 19th century. Historically informed posting I guess!

burn it with fire!!!

I agree- I can't remember the last time I smelled the "do you love me too?" smell. mmmm.... Brian could've always just.... oh, that's right, you don't want me to say that.

[snyprrr]

This guy at the karaoke did 'My Way' last night, but, at the end of each verse he sang, "I fucked her myyyy way," and littered the lyrics with lewd substitutions. Frankly, no one goes for that kind of stuff. I was watching this girl's reaction, and she was like, 'Oh, this world... when will it end?'...

I can tell you that this guy can most definitely act like a know-it-all ass, -

but, there is also (what we think) is some lesbian lady who sings the 'Pussycat Song', which is really lewd,... and I can tell you, it doesn't work for her either.

BEING "LEWD" JUST DOESN'T WORK FOR ANYONE REALLY.

Even when hot girls say stuff like, Suck My Cock- it's more just repulsive and it makes one want to slap the innousounce out of their mouths. Yea, yup, being lewd doesn't even work for hot chicks.

[Ken B]

  Yeah, perhaps you're right. My apologies if I painted things too cynically. I'm well into middle age, and have had a lot of partners over the years and maybe have just forgotten what it was like for girls who took things that seriously.  That said, I'd still run away.

You are not "well into middle age". You have only just begun, young pup!

She doesn't have to be a succubus for Brian's decision to be wise and prudent. If two people want very different things out of a relationship then iit will turn out badly for at least one of them. That seems to have been the case.

[ibanezmonster]

Even when hot girls say stuff like, Suck My Cock- it's more just repulsive and it makes one want to slap the innousounce out of their mouths. Yea, yup, being lewd doesn't even work for hot chicks.

Lol, I've heard that so many times.

[Mirror Image]

At this point I don't even give a fuck. 

I might actually go to a party, though.  That girl I was talking about is having her 21st birthday party on a Friday night, so I could just imagine all the drunk people there.  Not that I'm extremely interested, but it might be something different to do.

I would go to the party just for the hell of it, Greg. You never know you may meet someone else as a result.

[ibanezmonster]

I would go to the party just for the hell of it, Greg. You never know you may meet someone else as a result.

That's what I was thinking, but that is exactly the wrong type of mindset to have. It's better to go to parties with no expectations of "meeting someone," because if you do have that expectation, you'll either get nervous when someone tries to talk to you or get bummed out if you don't meet anyone.

I scheduled that evening off. I just wanna see if she has a big house.

[Mirror Image]

That's what I was thinking, but that is exactly the wrong type of mindset to have. It's better to go to parties with no expectations of "meeting someone," because if you do have that expectation, you'll either get nervous when someone tries to talk to you or get bummed out if you don't meet anyone.

I scheduled that evening off. I just wanna see if she has a big house.

You're only nervous if you allow yourself to be nervous. But, yes, it's best to go into any situation like this one without any expectations. Just have fun.

[snyprrr]

parties parties parties


Halloween


tis the season of opportunity!!


now is the time - no one wants to wake up on christmas morning knowing their babe is bangin someone else - now is the time to start setting up for the 'bleak times'- be a squirrel and store away many many prospects---- errrr, I mean 'score' away.... wait.... what?

just do it... NOOOW!!!!!

[ibanezmonster]

Was talking with a new friend I work with who drove me home tonight... got quite the compliment- asked "how goes it with the ladies, since you look like the type of guy they'd be all over." I've heard this quite a few times, but always very nice to hear it again. 

And of course I keep it vague- "I wish..." not going into more detail than that, hoping no more questioning so it doesn't go into awkward territory.  He was picking up a girl on the way who is 18 and went on about how he couldn't turn down an 18 year old, given the choice between her and another girl (he's 27). He met her at the school I used to go to (she's a college freshman), just approaching her and talking to her as she was sitting by herself outside. So, I suppose that's one big difference between me and him- I just to keep to myself most of the time and he likes to talk to new people.

[ibanezmonster]

This probably won't be funny for anyone who doesn't know the people, but a girl I work with who always flirts with me and my friend told me that she asked my friend if he'd like to hang out sometime. She showed me his reaction. He basically just made his eyes wide and didn't say anything. 

Somehow I saw this coming, and I'm still laughing hours later. He is so laid back that I'd be surprised if he has ever even had a crush on a girl before.

[Mirror Image]

What would be nice to hear are updates regarding YOUR love life not someone else's, Greg.

[ibanezmonster]

What would be nice to hear are updates regarding YOUR love life not someone else's, Greg.

Lol. Nice that you care, but I wouldn't hold my breath. 

The ideal girlfriend would be my above-mentioned friend in the body of a cute girl. All the same interests (anime, games, playing guitar, similar music tastes), totally chill, hilarious, open-minded, and challenges my imagination. I've known one girl in my whole life that comes close to this and probably nearly a dozen guys. The 3 girls I asked out in the last 8 years I only asked out because I thought they were kinda cute- we had nothing in common. So ummm... I've thought about only asking out girls I can relate to, but they are so rare that I probably shouldn't ever expect to date anyone. By the time I do find somebody, odds are I'll be too old to date.

[Mirror Image]

Lol. Nice that you care, but I wouldn't hold my breath. 

The ideal girlfriend would be my above-mentioned friend in the body of a cute girl. All the same interests (anime, games, playing guitar, similar music tastes), totally chill, hilarious, open-minded, and challenges my imagination. I've known one girl in my whole life that comes close to this and probably nearly a dozen guys. The 3 girls I asked out in the last 8 years I only asked out because I thought they were kinda cute- we had nothing in common. So ummm... I've thought about only asking out girls I can relate to, but they are so rare that I probably shouldn't ever expect to date anyone. By the time I do find somebody, odds are I'll be too old to date.

You have completely unrealistic expectations, my friend, especially with this comment:

The ideal girlfriend would be my above-mentioned friend in the body of a cute girl. All the same interests (anime, games, playing guitar, similar music tastes), totally chill, hilarious, open-minded, and challenges my imagination.

You're chasing someone that only exists in your imagination, Greg. Not only that but expecting to find someone with the exact same interests is like a needle in a haystack. You'll be alone forever if you think this person exists. What makes for a compelling relationship is only a few things in common but different interests as well that way you can learn to appreciate something you, otherwise, never would have in the first place. You want someone to challenge you, but you want them to have all the same interests? I'm sorry but this is completely wrong-headed and unrealistic of you.

[snyprrr]

Lol. Nice that you care, but I wouldn't hold my breath. 

The ideal girlfriend would be my above-mentioned friend in the body of a cute girl. All the same interests (anime, games, playing guitar, similar music tastes), totally chill, hilarious, open-minded, and challenges my imagination. I've known one girl in my whole life that comes close to this and probably nearly a dozen guys. The 3 girls I asked out in the last 8 years I only asked out because I thought they were kinda cute- we had nothing in common. So ummm... I've thought about only asking out girls I can relate to, but they are so rare that I probably shouldn't ever expect to date anyone. By the time I do find somebody, odds are I'll be too old to date.

btw- what do you all think of Kat Dennings?




(there!! fixed it- wheeeew)

[ibanezmonster]

You have completely unrealistic expectations, my friend, especially with this comment:

You're chasing someone that only exists in your imagination, Greg. Not only that but expecting to find someone with the exact same interests is like a needle in a haystack. You'll be alone forever if you think this person exists. What makes for a compelling relationship is only a few things in common but different interests as well that way you can learn to appreciate something you, otherwise, never would have in the first place. You want someone to challenge you, but you want them to have all the same interests? I'm sorry but this is completely wrong-headed and unrealistic of you.

Yeah, it's not realistic. I was just thinking about the question in this thread I got earlier about the ideal woman for me. I just hate the fact that I'm left targeting girls solely because they seem cute, rather than having stuff in common as well.

Wait... so you've been with 18 guys in the time it took you to ask 3 girls out? Huh?

Apparently you're drunk?

[Ken B]

Apparently you're drunk?

No. Scary huh?