The Dating Thread

[ibanezmonster]

also, that head shot makes you look like you're hiding somethin' tubby- if you're not, you need to show yo'seff- if you wuz a gurl with a headshot that cropped, I'd be really suspicious of what's lurking beyond the border.

Definitely not. I'm pretty close to having abs and am not without some muscle, either. Actually, if I actually prioritized working out, I'd have plenty of both.

[Sergeant Rock]

next time I see her I'll again offer to hang out with her whenever she's off...

That's what you're offering the girl, a chance to hang out with you? Yeah, I know I'm really old, about two generations removed from your generation, Greg, and probably out of touch...but really, is that what you kids do when you're not playing in my yard? 

Seems to me you would have more luck, and get an immediate answer, if you asked her out...on a date...you know, something specific: dinner, a movie, a concert, whatever. Maybe that's what you mean by "hanging out" ...if so, I apologize for the mistake. I'll go take my nap now.

Sarge

[ibanezmonster]

Guess I will specify it's a date. It should be obvious given the context, but safer to make it clear, I suppose...

[snyprrr]

Definitely not. I'm pretty close to having abs and am not without some muscle, either. Actually, if I actually prioritized working out, I'd have plenty of both.

I have a 4-PAK with some drank out of each one!!

SSSShhhheeeee man, if youse gots some flesh for the gals you HAVE to show it. I know you're a sensitive guy, but you'll never (probably) meet a pretty girl who likes Ligeti, so, you must give the girls what THEY want- and they want your hot bod


3 Things A Guy Can "Have":

1) Ridiculously Good Looks

2) Dance Moves

3) oh... and Money


If have not one of those three, you are what's known as "Invisible". If you have any one- beat them with it like it was a horse's leg!!



PS- at the MEREST SIGN that you are

a) sensitive

b) have needs

c) cry

d) yell

e) look like you might yell

f) look like you might have the slightest problem with anything they do

g) look like you might disapprove

h) OR ANY SUCH THING


You Are DonE!!-

at all costs- do NOT "be yourself"- be what they want you to be until you can be that no longer-



eh? the Great Advice is just Droppin' Like Dew




YOU HAVE TWO WEEKS!! That's the "girl cycle of like"

Where are you on the 2 week cycle? Trust me, you'll know what's up after 2 weeks----- clock.work.------

Guess I will specify it's a date. It should be obvious given the context, but safer to make it clear, I suppose...

"hanging out" is so 1997.... the girls have moved on from that terminology... that phrase will put you in the dreaded FriendZone quickern'...


yes- be CLEAR and SPECIFIC

"I like you cause you're pretty... and smart!!"



It's funny how the ladies get that REAL WORRIED look when they KNOW you are asking them out on a D.A.T.E. "Date" IS the new work for "F***"- BELIEVE IT AND LIVE BY IT.

"I'm not dating anyone right now."

Guess what THAT means??





sorry- I'm getting worked up into a lather here- carry on

(I just hope one of us gets "there" soon- oy vey!!) can you say EXTREME DROUGHT CONDITIONS FOR 7 YEARS?








YES- thatMANY TEARS!!

[Karl Henning]

This is a test: Will Greg take dating advice from snypsss?

(* munches popcorn *)

[ibanezmonster]

This is a test: Will Greg take dating advice from snypsss?

(* munches popcorn *)

There are some good points, though. Expecting to find someone who likes classical music is unrealistic. I've never known any female classical music fans. A couple of males, yes, though they weren't extremely into it.

And the sensitive part, too, at least when it's about yourself... will just be seen as being selfish. And I agree that at least completely being yourself is not a good idea most of the time.

For example, I read this guy posting something like, "All it takes to meet women is live your life and dedicate yourself to your hobbies!" That really made me laugh. So he meets a woman taking during the course of taking a cooking class. So what about those with hobbies that women don't like? In any computer science course, you're going to see at least a 10:1 male to female ratio. If I went back to the technical school I went to and took cosmetology classes, I'd have no problem at all finding a date. Or two.

[Rinaldo]

I've never known any female classical music fans.

Ever been to a concert?

[snyprrr]

This is a test: Will Greg take dating advice from snypsss?

(* munches popcorn *)

you made me clean the monitor on that one!!

Hey- I'm just tellin it like it is- there's a war going on out there and if Greg doesn't want to become vag fodder he needs to figure out real quick how to talk to girls and convince them (and yourself) that it's the truth. "The Truth" has a totally different meaning when you're trying to talk to a female lady tyoe person. I'm afeared that Greg's pesky conscience is going to get the better of him and he's going to blurt out an inconvenient truth at the worst possible time.


YOU WANT SOME GOOD ADVICE?

Never give your real name- especially these days. Even if you just spell your name wrong for them, do it, because people will look you up in a heartbeat- if you have anything out there-

HOW OLD ARE YOU?? You're whatever age she wants you to be!! YOU'RE the Mystery Man!! If she's older- make sure she thinks you're younger. If she's younger, make sure she thinks you're older.

ARE YOU DATING?? Fuuuu...yea you're dating--- someone, anyone--- you tell your girl that this girl you've been dating is tweating you all mean, and that makes you sad, and you just need someone to loooov.... slurp slurp........see? how quickly she responded to a sob story about an evil witch? SO- you're ALWAYS dating- "but I wish I was dating someone like you"



THE REASON YOU NEED TO MAKE UP STORIES is to keep it interesting for YOU!! YOU- so when you go home alone and ____ ___ you'll at least have some lolz- all in good fun!!



IF ANYONE EVER CALLS YOU ON YOUR "MYSTERY MAN" STATUS- just say "Well, YOU liked it." (you can add a term of endearment if you like)



GREG- IT'S TIME TO BECOME BAD GREG!!



(you like my advice so far Karl??)




I WANT YOU SPORTING SUNGLASSES AT.ALL.TIMES.---- ALL.TIMES.--- COLLAR, TOP OF HEAD- WHATEVER

ALWAYS ACT LIKE A YOUNG MICKYT ROURKE. SCRATCH YOUR - ONCE IN A WHILE- WHILE THEY'RE LOOKING- THEN SHRUG (Sid Vicious)


oh- MUST MUST MUST get some "cool ass boots"- cowboy boots or whatever you call them tough guy boots- pipe layin' boots- MUST MUST MUST


(are you writing this down?)



(Karl, I was talking to you!!)









BREAKING UPDATE:!! As a token gesture to this Thread, I asked a young lady out tonight (that I'm acquainted with). I went something like this:


EVENT BREAKUP- people walking to cars. I spot her a few clicks ahead. She's getting right in front of my car (going to hers)


ME: Hey Lily.

HER: Hey-

(greet- hug)

ME: How ya doin?

HER: Oh, I have to get to work-

ME: oh, wow- it's so late-

HER: -so-

ME: Hey--

HER -mm?-

ME: I was gonna aks you out sometime

HER: I'm going to have to... respectfully decline.

ME: ha- ok

HER -mm-

ME: alright- night

HER- by

(I get in my car)









"respectfully decline"??   wtf??    who says THAT??  What did it EVEN mean?? AAAAAAHHHHHHHH?? Am I on some BlackList??




Anyhow- Greg- Karl- that's what we're up against here. I want you to force yourself to ask someone you know is going to say NO- you NEED the practice-

Karl- tell 5 women at Walmart you think they're sexy. Just walk up to them- "I just thought you should know- I think you're sexy." And nod and walk away.


NO#W GO!!!!

[ibanezmonster]

Ever been to a concert?

Three classical, one metal. Okay, I met an old lady that loves Beethoven there once. Does that count? The reasons why I don't go anymore is that:
1. they rarely program anything I'm interested in;
2. if they do, I realize that I have to take a night off from work since I almost always work in the evening;
3. if I'm willing to take a night off, I really don't feel like driving over an hour to get there.

[Mirror Image]

Damn, you haven't even asked her out yet, Greg?

[ibanezmonster]

So it looks like a no for me, too, snyprrr. I didn't precisely say "date," but I just asked if she'd call me when she got some free time. Then I'd say "date" and such. She just said no, since she's too busy. Of course, there is some basis for it- finishing off a 15 hour work/school day, but she'll have time later, so that was obviously just an excuse. When someone you might be interested in wants you to call them, you don't just say "no, too busy." And you don't ignore their texts asking when they are free.

My next step is trying to figure out exactly what is so repulsive to women about me. I have no idea what was so much more appealing about the last guy she dated, so apparently there is something I'm doing wrong. Maybe it is the fact that I don't say "fuckitty fuck fuck fuckerson" and make gay rape jokes all the time? Anyways, I'm just going to ask the last girl I tried to date, which was a few years ago. She's married and has a kid and I'll never see her again, so why not?

[Mirror Image]

So it looks like a no for me, too, snyprrr. I didn't precisely say "date," but I just asked if she'd call me when she got some free time. Then I'd say "date" and such. She just said no, since she's too busy. Of course, there is some basis for it- finishing off a 15 hour work/school day, but she'll have time later, so that was obviously just an excuse. When someone you might be interested in wants you to call them, you don't just say "no, too busy." And you don't ignore their texts asking when they are free.

My next step is trying to figure out exactly what is so repulsive to women about me. I have no idea what was so much more appealing about the last guy she dated, so apparently there is something I'm doing wrong. Maybe it is the fact that I don't say "fuckitty fuck fuck fuckerson" and make gay rape jokes all the time? Anyways, I'm just going to ask the last girl I tried to date, which was a few years ago. She's married and has a kid and I'll never see her again, so why not?

Well, one mustn't forget that humor helps ease a lot of the pressure you seem to be feeling. Perhaps you're just too serious? Perhaps you lack a certain confidence that she's looking for? If you're honest with yourself and would quit fucking around and just ask her point blank for a date, then maybe you'll get a better answer than "I'm busy." The fact that you're questioning yourself to begin with shows a self-esteem problem, which is a definite turn-off for most women.

[NorthNYMark]

Greg, if it really has been several years since you tried to date someone, there is no reason to conclude from this rejection that you are doing something wrong.  If she likes a different type of guy, then you probably wouldn't have been happy with each other anyway. If anything, you probably just haven't made enough of an effort to meet more potential dates--it sounds like in your case, online dating sites (with all their faults, as discussed earlier in the thread) may be a necessary supplement to just relying on people you meet through work or mutual friends, since it sounds like you don't meet too many that way.  Finding the right person can take a long time, often with plenty of rejections, bad dates, and ill-fated relationship attempts in the meantime.  In my case, I didn't find the right person until I was 40.  Hopefully you won't have to wait quite that long, but try not to blame yourself or get too discouraged from this rejection. It's an inevitable aspect of dating--if you're not not getting hurt along the way, you're probably doing something wrong.

[ibanezmonster]

Just chatted with my friend who I used to try to date. I asked her if there is anything that women find repulsive about me so she could help out.

She said:

Is that your question or is that you just saying that because of my reactions? Lol. If that is your question then I'm honestly not quite sure how to answer it lol. Idk why you would think that anyway. Maybe you're just trying to hard, because people will literally fall in your lap when you least expect it and something great can come of it with no effort at all. Or maybe you're just seeking the wrong kind of girls... or maybe you just want things that they don't want or feel they aren't ready for yet

Lol just chill. I promise, once you stop trying stuff will start happening. It's like magic lol. Girls are tricky too, wait until someone seems legitimately attached before you get attached.  keep your head up!

I thought she was the best person to ask since she has some insider knowledge and she does genuinely care about me. Now I'm not so sure how useful some of that advice is. Only girls can put in no effort and get results. Is "stop trying" really a good thing to do? I've done plenty of that...

Well, one mustn't forget that humor helps ease a lot of the pressure you seem to be feeling. Perhaps you're just too serious? Perhaps you lack a certain confidence that she's looking for? If you're honest with yourself and would quit fucking around and just ask her point blank for a date, then maybe you'll get a better answer than "I'm busy." The fact that you're questioning yourself to begin with shows a self-esteem problem, which is a definite turn-off for most women.

If she doesn't understand what I meant when I asked, "Are you completely broken up with x? If so, do you want to hang out with me?" then maybe she's just too dumb to date. I originally planned to use the word "date" tonight, but she looked like she was about to die from lack of sleep, so it just didn't feel right- kind of a selfish thing to ask at that moment.

[ibanezmonster]

Greg, if it really has been several years since you tried to date someone, there is no reason to conclude from this rejection that you are doing something wrong.  If she likes a different type of guy, then you probably wouldn't have been happy with each other anyway. If anything, you probably just haven't made enough of an effort to meet more potential dates--it sounds like in your case, online dating sites (with all their faults, as discussed earlier in the thread) may be a necessary supplement to just relying on people you meet through work or mutual friends, since it sounds like you don't meet too many that way.  Finding the right person can take a long time, often with plenty of rejections, bad dates, and ill-fated relationship attempts in the meantime.  In my case, I didn't find the right person until I was 40.  Hopefully you won't have to wait quite that long, but try not to blame yourself or get too discouraged from this rejection. It's an inevitable aspect of dating--if you're not not getting hurt along the way, you're probably doing something wrong.

Thanks. I stopped trying the online dating websites because there weren't enough women that I was even interested in that lived in my area. I counted, probably, 7 on match.com and POF I don't remember, need to double check, but probably not much... in the city, I saw so many that I couldn't even count them all. But it'll be well over a year before I'm able to move.

She's got complete opposite interests as me. Loves terrible party music and loves to drink and smoke pot. Her appeal is that she's a really pleasant, fun person to be around.

[ibanezmonster]

I have to admire my friend's ability to spell the word "you're." I was surprised. Probably only about 20% of Americans can properly spell that word.

[Mirror Image]

If she doesn't understand what I meant when I asked, "Are you completely broken up with x? If so, do you want to hang out with me?" then maybe she's just too dumb to date. I originally planned to use the word "date" tonight, but she looked like she was about to die from lack of sleep, so it just didn't feel right- kind of a selfish thing to ask at that moment.

I understand perfectly well about timing BUT I think to use the words 'hang out' is a poor choice because this implies a 'friend zone' scenario to me and you obviously want to be more than just 'friends' with her.

Maybe this woman just isn't for you? There are plenty of other fish in the sea, my friend, but if you continue to dance around the issue of asking for a date by using phrases like 'hang out' than I don't think you're going anywhere. I would rather get rejected once than a series of half-yeses and half-no's. If I REALLY liked a woman than my heart just couldn't take that, I have to be direct with them or move onto to another woman. I don't play games when my feelings are on the line.

[Mirror Image]

I've got a little thing brewing myself. There's this woman who works for Virgin Mobile and she has a display set up at the store I work at and she and I have really hit it off so far. Next time I see her, I'm going to ask her out for dinner. If she says, no, then no harm done, I'll move on to someone else. Rejection is apart of dating and even though it's not a fun thing to have to endure, you still have to pick yourself up and keep going. That's really the only way. Sometimes persistence can also payoff. Like wait a month or two after you've asked the woman out and then ask her again if you're still interested in her of course and aren't dating anyone. Sometimes the second or third times the charm, but this doesn't happen all the time, but it certainly doesn't hurt to ask again given a reasonable amount of time has passed.

[Mirror Image]

I'll also add the woman I'm currently interested in has told me that she loves traveling and is considering becoming a flight attendant, but, also is considering going to school. I asked her "Wouldn't becoming a flight attendant keep you away from your family? Wouldn't it also put a damper on your love life if you met someone special?" She said "I have family here but I have no reason to stay if I took that job."

Hmmmm.....could she perhaps be implying to me that she doesn't have a boyfriend or anyone to date? That would seem like a strange thing to say for someone who was involved in a serious relationship.

Note: I haven't asked if she had a boyfriend or anything, but the above information seems to indicate that she doesn't.

[ibanezmonster]

I understand perfectly well about timing BUT I think to use the words 'hang out' is a poor choice because this implies a 'friend zone' scenario to me and you obviously want to be more than just 'friends' with her.

Maybe this woman just isn't for you? There are plenty of other fish in the sea, my friend, but if you continue to dance around the issue of asking for a date by using phrases like 'hang out' than I don't think you're going anywhere. I would rather get rejected once than a series of half-yeses and half-no's. If I REALLY liked a woman than my heart just couldn't take that, I have to be direct with them or move onto to another woman. I don't play games when my feelings are on the line.

What do you think about inviting someone to see a movie with you? Rarely, if ever, would using the word "date" not be extremely awkward, and that doesn't really help you feel relaxed. I used to use this "movie" question, though not sure why I don't any more.

I've got a little thing brewing myself. There's this woman who works for Virgin Mobile and she has a display set up at the store I work at and she and I have really hit it off so far. Next time I see her, I'm going to ask her out for dinner. If she says, no, then no harm done, I'll move on to someone else. Rejection is apart of dating and even though it's not a fun thing to have to endure, you still have to pick yourself up and keep going. That's really the only way. Sometimes persistence can also payoff. Like wait a month or two after you've asked the woman out and then ask her again if you're still interested in her of course and aren't dating anyone. Sometimes the second or third times the charm, but this doesn't happen all the time, but it certainly doesn't hurt to ask again given a reasonable amount of time has passed.

I tried the waiting thing... doesn't really work if they have a hard time letting go of someone.