Dating or not dating.

[NikF]

-There's this one guy in my group in FF14 who is always talking about having hookups with beautiful 20 year olds (he's about twice that age), but he complains that if he gets married, he wouldn't be able to play the game. (And he hides his addiction of the game from these girls- his "secret nerd life." lol) I can certainly sympathize.

It's not the video games that are the problem. The problem is wanting and expecting an adult relationship while keeping the habits and routines of being single. It could be video games or fly fishing or going to the gym every night or restoring an old motorcycle in the the garage or whatever - it's not possible for that stuff to be the #1 priority anymore. Of course, there are always exceptions, but most of those seem to eventually involve the woman readily letting another guy plow her while the manchild remains happily oblivious, levelling up.

Yes, that's how a human body works.

It's good to go outside and breathe fresh air, stretch the legs, interact with real people in real life, naturally increase vitamin D etc. Apparently all the cool kids do it.

All dully noted, my friend. I hope this happens for me soon.

I hope it happens for you soon too. In the meantime ---> 

I've been with more Black Out Queens than I care to mention...

No. Even when giving in to my most base desires and needs - no.

I'm currently terrified of knife wielding type wimmins... wake up with Ms. CrayCray straddling your chest with a pistol between your eyes...

I've been stabbed over a woman but I've never been stabbed by a woman. However I sometimes allowed a woman's looks and/or her natural propensity for licentiousness to distract me from obvious red flags. For the most part the result of that was relatively harmless, such as waking the next morning in some girl's bed and looking across to see her furtively rifling my pockets for cash. (But I only ever carry a token amount. )
e: just going to add that I was stabbed out of jealousy by an insecure moron who thought I was stealing his girl. But 1) she was never his girl. 2) I only slept with her once - and so that's hardly stealing in any case.

Almost about to start at Uni, almost ready to get back in the zone and meet some likeminded females 

Eat, sleep and rest like an adult. Indulge in minimum chasing of the skirt and maximum amount of studying. Finally, always dispose of your banana skins correctly.

[eljr]

I've been with more Black Out Queens than I care to mention... oy,... have you ever realized that for the past two weeks you've been making love to someone that wasn't there?? Yea, that's a creepy feeling (Oh, that's what that glazed look was... I thought it was because of my technicals!)

Black Out Queens
https://www.google.com/search?q=Black+Out+Queens&oq=Black+Out+Queens&aqs=chrome..69i57.1101j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#q=Black+Out+Queens&nfpr=1&*


still no clue what this is supposed to mean 

[NikF]

Black Out Queens
https://www.google.com/search?q=Black+Out+Queens&oq=Black+Out+Queens&aqs=chrome..69i57.1101j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#q=Black+Out+Queens&nfpr=1&*


still no clue what this is supposed to mean 

Alcohol/blackouts/memory loss/sex

If you search such as "blackout queens sex" it'll tell you what you need to know. But it's a scenario best avoided by all. That's all that needs to be said about it.

[eljr]

OK, so it appears we can use the Urban Dictionary definition. 

[greg]

It's not the video games that are the problem. The problem is wanting and expecting an adult relationship while keeping the habits and routines of being single. It could be video games or fly fishing or going to the gym every night or restoring an old motorcycle in the the garage or whatever - it's not possible for that stuff to be the #1 priority anymore. Of course, there are always exceptions, but most of those seem to eventually involve the woman readily letting another guy plow her while the manchild remains happily oblivious, levelling up.

Yeah, I understand it tends to be that way. Probably best to stay single. Hobbies will always be most important thing to me.

Unless she shares the same hobbies. (I've known married couples that both play the same game as I do, several hours a day). But finding someone like that...    good luck.

It's good to go outside and breathe fresh air, stretch the legs, interact with real people in real life, naturally increase vitamin D etc. Apparently all the cool kids do it.

I certainly do that when I can. Winter here is just garbage. When I was in Florida and unemployed for a month (by choice) last summer, I went outside every single day to play basketball for an hour before it rained and would come inside and take a shower. That month was heaven.

To the bolded text, this has me worried the most. I'm not sure how anyone could be so bored whenever there's a whole wealth of music, books, films, etc. to be enjoyed.

Sometimes I don't know what I want to watch or do. And there's a large enough percentage of pure crap/boring stuff out there that is not much better than staring at the wall.

[ComposerOfAvantGarde]

Yep, but I won't resist chasing a few skirts if they come my way 

In a new apartment, new city, new lifestyle everything new. The opportunities down here too are just massive. Also, not that I'd do it but if I bothered with tinder, there would be a ton of matches. It's a well populated place and the random people on the street seem so much more friendlier for some reason. So yeah!! 

You're very confident! ....I hope things turn out quite well for you. Best wishes. ^_^

[Mirror Image]

Well, I got a text out of the blue from that woman from Thailand I was seeing asking me if I wanted to hangout sometime. I'm not sure what to reply.

Edit: I'll probably decline her offer. I'm enjoying my time right now.

[NikF]

Well, I got a text out of the blue from that woman from Thailand I was seeing asking me if I wanted to hangout sometime. I'm not sure what to reply.

I wouldn't reply.
And that includes not sending a reply saying stuff like "Don't contact me again" or "No thanks, but I wish you all the best."
Also, I would block her number and leave it blocked.

[Mirror Image]

I wouldn't reply.
And that includes not sending a reply saying stuff like "Don't contact me again" or "No thanks, but I wish you all the best."
Also, I would block her number and leave it blocked.

Done.

[NikF]

Done.

Good man. 

[Mirror Image]

Good man. 

Yeah, I mean I know I'm irresistible and everything (j/k ), but some people just don't know when to stop. Thankfully, she doesn't know where I live as if she did I'd be afraid she'd be camping out in my yard right now.

[NikF]

Yeah, I mean I know I'm irresistible and everything

Well, she obviously saw some qualities and attributes she found attractive in you.

but some people just don't know when to stop.

All you can do is be honest with someone and then remain resolute. It was your right to end it and you made it clear. So it's no longer your problem.

But here's something you maybe want to keep in mind. You remember how I've said when I'm interested in someone that from the outset I *usually make it clear to her, but then after doing so I wait until she gets back to me? To another woman (one I'm not interested in) that same behaviour might appear to her as me playing hard to get. Or perhaps she's the type who would view it as (and welcome) a challenge. So it might be that when you're rejecting someone they read it entirely the wrong way. In my experience it doesn't happen very often, but it does happen.

* there are obviously exceptions. An example is when the dancer was walking down the street and I immediately opened my big mouth, simply because she was a stranger passing by and so I didn't know if I would get another chance to speak with her.

[ComposerOfAvantGarde]

Well I gave in after being her two days and installed tinder, now  after a day I've got a match. I don't quite know what to say though.....

A match means they've liked your profile and picture right? Because this girl is so so beautiful, wow!! 

Any tips for using this and what to say?
I'm not used to doing it online...


Edit: I sent her a cheeky, clever message   

Normally I'd just greet them by asking how they are. What did you end up saying? Also, there were bots/spam on there when I checked it out.

[Mirror Image]

Well, she obviously saw some qualities and attributes she found attractive in you.
All you can do is be honest with someone and then remain resolute. It was your right to end it and you made it clear. So it's no longer your problem.

But here's something you maybe want to keep in mind. You remember how I've said when I'm interested in someone that from the outset I *usually make it clear to her, but then after doing so I wait until she gets back to me? To another woman (one I'm not interested in) that same behaviour might appear to her as me playing hard to get. Or perhaps she's the type who would view it as (and welcome) a challenge. So it might be that when you're rejecting someone they read it entirely the wrong way. In my experience it doesn't happen very often, but it does happen.

* there are obviously exceptions. An example is when the dancer was walking down the street and I immediately opened my big mouth, simply because she was a stranger passing by and so I didn't know if I would get another chance to speak with her.

All good points, Nik. Food for thought.

[ComposerOfAvantGarde]

Well her names Adelia and she's from Chilie, so I commented on the meaning of her name and said that it was those qualities I look for in a woman  , then I asked if she was also a student around these parts. But I'm not used to this online stuff either 

What is the meaning of the name? I didn't realise you were interested in name meanings and things like that.

[ComposerOfAvantGarde]

It means noble, she hasn't replied yet.

I'm not too bothered about finding a lover or hookup at the moment really, I just want someone to hang around...being in a new city and all, not really knowing anyone yet 

That's fair enough! I'm sure you will get to meet many interesting people over the course of this year.

[NikF]

I'm not too bothered about finding a lover or hookup at the moment really, I just want someone to hang around...being in a new city and all, not really knowing anyone yet 

You'll be fine. Just go outside and talk with people once in a while and time and patience will take care of the rest of it.  Hope you enjoy the experience as a whole.

[NikF]

I've been more or less stuck indoors for two weeks. I've one more week with this splint on before it's replaced with a lighter one, then there's a couple more weeks of that crap. Some physio/rehab will inevitably follow. When it's all over I'm going to muster whatever charisma I still have and go on an all out charm offensive to f--k as many women as I can, a primal activity that'll last through spring into summer, building up to a climax around the first week in September when the excesses will eventually see me expire in a explosion that leaves behind only a semi-opaque cloud of coolness, hypertrophied medial deltoids, leather jacket with Paisley (100% silk) scarf, and testosterone. You've no idea how serious I am about that. No, you've no idea. And I'm looking no further ahead and have no other plans or goals for my life. Well, at some point I might open that Poulenc box set while I'm waiting for the lactic acid to dissipate.

[Mirror Image]

I've been more or less stuck indoors for two weeks. I've one more week with this splint on before it's replaced with a lighter one, then there's a couple more weeks of that crap. Some physio/rehab will inevitably follow. When it's all over I'm going to muster whatever charisma I still have and go on an all out charm offensive to f--k as many women as I can, a primal activity that'll last through spring into summer, building up to a climax around the first week in September when the excesses will eventually see me expire in a explosion that leaves behind only a semi-opaque cloud of coolness, hypertrophied medial deltoids, leather jacket with Paisley (100% silk) scarf, and testosterone. You've no idea how serious I am about that. No, you've no idea. And I'm looking no further ahead and have no other plans or goals for my life. Well, at some point I might open that Poulenc box set while I'm waiting for the lactic acid to dissipate.

Hmmm...I'll just be listening to some music myself and enjoying my solitude, but good luck with all of that, Nik!

[NikF]

Hmmm...I'll just be listening to some music myself and enjoying my solitude, but good luck with all of that, Nik!

Thanks. However I don't believe in luck, but I do believe in the combo of the law of averages and having a big mouth.