Why don't people use their name, or a name, on internet forums?

[marvinbrown]

  I'd love to change my name to Richard Wagner or Ludwig van Beethoven either name will do as far as I am concerned.


  marvin

[karlhenning]

No, haven't read it yet, but it sounds like fun!

[Bogey]

No, haven't read it yet, but it sounds like fun!

I love that time period and setting combo.  Checking local library now.  Need to get MN Dave on this, along with jwinter.  It might be their cup of tea as well.



A teaser from a review here:

THE RONALD REAGAN MURDER CASE is a 60,000-word comedy mystery novel, set in Hollywood in January 1945, which introduces George Tirebiter, then a 25 year-old radio star, in his first "celebrity detective" role. Two murder mysteries engage George in this novel. In one, he discovers that the apparent murder of Ronald Reagan's movie double could have been an early CIA double-cross, fabricated by Bill "Wild Bull" Casey! Could our beloved ex-President actually be his own stand-in?

[Gurn Blanston]

Somewhere in there you will find the fine hand of Firesign Theater. Tirebiter was a character of theirs from long ago. One of those names you never forget.   



----------------
Now playing:
K 196c 292 Sonata for Cello & Bassoon - Hübner / Latzko - K 196c 292 Sonata in Bb for Bassoon & Cello 2nd mvmt - Andante

[Sean]

Hi there Ephemerid

I can talk more openly online, but *here* (meaning Arkansas for now ) I am extremely reticent.  If this wasn't a forum, but some sort of pub or some sort of social gathering, I just wouldn't be there.

Well certainly most Americans are very friendly and outgoing compared to Britons, but English culture suits some, and New Zealand I understand (from my parents' visit) is one of the most similar places to the UK.

I do think because no one knows who I am, I feel like I can say it.

Try to say things because they're right and defensible, not because of what others may think: if they're defensible then others have to think you're right, even if they don't say it. That's how you get the morons afraid, and the ones with substance will sift themselves from the ones without.

I'm not saying I use boards as a way of therapy...

I use the damn things because socializing in England is such a sick non-event.

P.S.  Sean, I personally find the US is a very strange & insular.

It partly is because some of its values, particularly its material development, are so good- and people there consequently don't understand the value of anywhere else, for instance someone saying that they haven't visited all 50 states yet so why should they think about visiting another (ie lesser) country yet? The idea of other angles on reality in other places doesn't occur so much to them, particularly with the geographical location of diminutive Canada to the north, backward yet Western Mexico to the south and oceans to either side; indeed there's no strong indigenous culture to get their interest anywhere in the Americas.

[longears]

I think I remember seeing his name somewhere, and I'm pretty sure that if you add two letters to his name, one consonant and one vowel, it can be rearranged to spell out "Ham face fish cleric."

I'm not 100% sure though.

I thought it was Female Chichi Scarf!

[longears]

It partly is because some of its values, particularly its material development, are so good- and people there consequently don't understand the value of anywhere else, for instance someone saying that they haven't visited all 50 states yet so why should they think about visiting another (ie lesser) country yet? The idea of other angles on reality in other places doesn't occur so much to them, particularly with the geographical location of diminutive Canada to the north, backward yet Western Mexico to the south and oceans to either side; indeed there's no strong indigenous culture to get their interest anywhere in the Americas.

Good lord but you are a bigoted fool.  I sincerely believe that you are not bright enough to recognize how offensively stupid these ignorant proclamations of yours really are.  Thank God you've been removed from the schools--the idea of a jerk like you affecting impressionable children gives me the willies.

[Ephemerid]

Sean, I found the majority of kiwis so friendly I was confused about it at first.  I used to correspond with another American family that lived in Auckland and they freaked out about how friendly NZers were, open, approachable, etc.  Its something I had read about from American impressions before, but  it wasn't until I experienced it myself that I realised, "Oh, so that's what they were talking about!"  Certainly the people in Christchurch were very laid back-- it was the weirdest thing, my next door neighbour, perfect strangers-- it was (from my experience) really weird.  Maybe its something in the water... 

Try to say things because they're right and defensible, not because of what others may think: if they're defensible then others have to think you're right, even if they don't say it. That's how you get the morons afraid, and the ones with substance will sift themselves from the ones without.

Here's an example of my situation-- my boss is a big Rush Limbaugh fan.  You may not even know who he is (and if you don't, you should be thankful), but anyway he's a right-wing radio "talk show host" to put it nicely-- and my boss will go on making comments about the show and the topics that crop up, gun rights, gay marriage, the war in Iraq, evolution, atheists, etc. etc.  He's a nice enough guy, but I'm put on the spot.  And I've been in situations before where my opinion has made my job absolutely miserable.  There's no arguing with people like this, and if I did, there would be consequences that I simply can't afford.  These topics (among others here) are not just disagreements, but highly charged divisive issues and, at least in every situation I've found myself in, I've found it better to keep my mouth shut because I'm in the minority. 

Would I be lynched?  No, but my job/life has been made a lot more difficult in situations where I've voiced my own opinion on certain issues (and in a very level-headed way).  So I just keep my head low.  Its not even that I would want to talk about these things (least of all at work, where it is certainly inappropriate)-- everyone else brings up this stuff, and then I'm put on the spot.  My experience here is people naturally assume you have the same opinion as them, or something close to it, and so they can talk to you about it.  But if they find out you think very differently, watch your back.  If I want to keep my job security & health insurance, I have to keep my mouth shut.  I literally can't afford to risk it. 

I know there are places in the US that are NOT like that, obviously, but certainly in the 5 states I've lived in in my adult years I've been very unhappy.  I could tell you story after story of weird situations, being asked pointblank, out of the blue, by someone "Son, are you saved?" to being asked about a stack of books I was reading and being literally shouted at "The only book you need to read is THE BIBLE!!"  But what can you say?  I have no problem with people having differing opinions, but this isn't a matter of differing opinions to be discussed, agreeing to disagree, etc.  It just stresses me out too much.

[Sarastro]

I'm not saying the US is a bad country per se, but it is definitely not a place where I can feel at home

So what other countries have you lived before? 

I can say the same about myself, but New Zealand should be changed to Russia. That wasn't my choice, but my parents'. I don't complain though, it'll give me more opportunities and then, some time later, I will find out where I want to live...at least there should be a good Opera Theater, so Milan or Vienna fits.

[Ephemerid]

So what other countries have you lived before? 

Only Italy and New Zealand.  I've lived most of my life in a handful of southern states in the US, though I was born in California.  I considered NZ as a place to live about eight years ago, though before that I had considered Iceland!    I finally decided that would be just a bit extreme for me LOL so I considered something a bit easier to adapt to.  I think "shopping around" for another country to live in, if only just to experience it for a while, is good-- its interesting to see how other people live but also to see certain cultural quirks we carry in ourselves that we take for granted. 

It helps if you've young and have money & a degree.  Unfortunately I'm 37, make only halfway decent wages, and never finished my bachelors (which was in music composition so it was useless anyway).   

[Brian]

I thought it was Female Chichi Scarf!

!

[Sean]

Hi Ephemerid, that's all very interesting, particularly as you elaborate on this issue. I have some similar experiences I guess, though often I also come across the situation where if I keep quiet about my views and reactions to things, knowing they're very different to those around me, they soon sense it anyway: silence is about as bad as contradiction for these ghosts and they pick up on it fast enough.

America is very good at certain things and I certainly find it basically sociable and inclusive, though in many cases of course that doesn't go far beyond the polite outward sense. Many times I've joined a group for lunch and they find they get a little unsettled when you just don't talk the same jive. However this is nothing to worry about- if they're operating on a more conditioned level, you have to look elsewhere.

Except, as you point out, when there are other considerations, like being in a job. However, I'd suggest that though your boss is a blockhead, he may still be smart enough to know roughly what you're thinking. But he can't entertain it because he's not up to it. So, without trying to make things worse for yourself and really annoy him, I'd still try to speak your mind when you can. I can certainly say that I'm a lot less concerned to entertain false relationships than I was, not least because people with fear and insecurity in them are often very sensitive and thin-skinned- and are secretly out to stop you anyway. It's tricky and without an easy solution, except to find another job, which I know can be very difficult.

You'll have to weigh things up of course. I'd certainly have some views on those topics you mention that would be regarded as absolutely beyond the pale!!! And life for me in England has been less than happy also.

The 19th century social philosopher Tochequeville (I think that's spelt wrong) is a clear headed thinker, noting the peer pressure that keeps people in line in north America. England/ NZ isn't as bad as this- you can perhaps more easily say what you like and wear what you like, but the repression is equally manifest in other ways, for instance the English don't speak to anyone they don't know- it's extremely cliquey and they just don't make new friends very often; sexual repression is also overwhelming, along with racism and class structure.

[Brian]

The 19th century social philosopher Tochequeville (I think that's spelt wrong)

Tocqueville. Close

[Ephemerid]

I have some similar experiences I guess, though often I also come across the situation where if I keep quiet about my views and reactions to things, knowing they're very different to those around me, they soon sense it anyway: silence is about as bad as contradiction for these ghosts and they pick up on it fast enough.

Yep.  I know exactly what you're talking about there! 

Thankfully my boss talks to another co-worker about certain topics, not me, and I just keep myself busy with work-- sad to say, I've picked up good deflection skills from my previous marriage (my ex-wife was religious, though not a fundamentalist, but I had married into a fundamentalist family). 

The 19th century social philosopher Tochequeville (I think that's spelt wrong) is a clear headed thinker, noting the peer pressure that keeps people in line in north America. England/ NZ isn't as bad as this- you can perhaps more easily say what you like and wear what you like, but the repression is equally manifest in other ways, for instance the English don't speak to anyone they don't know- it's extremely cliquey and they just don't make new friends very often; sexual repression is also overwhelming, along with racism and class structure.

The most negative thing I saw in NZ is what seems to me to be a certain kind of sexism, which is ironic for the first country in the world to acknowledge the right of women to vote, and as many female leaders as it has had.  I think all cultures have there virtues and their vices.  Some may be stronger than others, but also they manifest themselves differently from one culture to the next.  The sexism in the southern US is different than the sexism I saw in NZ, with perhaps different "justifications" for it. 

One of the things perhaps different from what you describe about England from the US is that people here are more open about their personal lives (I understand asking a perfect stranger in England "So what do you do for a living?" would be considered rude, whereas in the US that would be just normal).  Of course there's a downside to this (at least in my opinion) because I don't want to discuss my "religious affiliation" with a perfect stranger (on a board like this its different because I chose to come here with the intention of getting into who knows what discussions).  There are some things I would like to not be worn on people's sleeves (you can see how that has affected politics in the US-- anyone openly non-christian, especially an atheist or agnostic, will never be president here, whereas this is a non-issue in many other countries).  There are probably no taboo subjects in the US, but there are very touchy and divisive subjects in the US, things that in many instances would be taken for granted. 

I laugh when my girlfriend sees some news item about the US and she's like "I can't believe they do x in the US!" and I have to explain-- she laughs at me when I see something in the NZ news or some of the things I saw while in Chch.  We all carry this cultural baggage inside us, which is only natural.  What interests me is when I stumble upon these things I've taken for granted for so long and I realise it could and can be done differently (for better or for worse).  It makes me re-examine myself in a way I couldn't with just abstract speculation.  You being more well-travelled than me, Sean, I'm sure you've done the same thing-- the body & the mind is like a laboratory! 

[Sean]

Ephemerid

I've picked up good deflection skills from my previous marriage (my ex-wife was religious, though not a fundamentalist, but I had married into a fundamentalist family).

Oh dear!

I think all cultures have there virtues and their vices.

Yes that's quite true, at least at the moment- I don't see why it must be the case though.

One of the things perhaps different from what you describe about England from the US is that people here are more open about their personal lives (I understand asking a perfect stranger in England "So what do you do for a living?" would be considered rude, whereas in the US that would be just normal).

Speaking to a stranger at all is considered way beyond rude in England: they're a bunch of absolute psychos and sickos.

Of course there's a downside to this (at least in my opinion) because I don't want to discuss my "religious affiliation" with a perfect stranger.

Sex, religion and politics are best to give a double passing lanes space around, at least early on with people- they're fundamental things in one's outlook.

What interests me is when I stumble upon these things I've taken for granted for so long and I realise it could and can be done differently (for better or for worse).  It makes me re-examine myself in a way I couldn't with just abstract speculation.

If you can get something from cultural difference you're doing well for yourself. Most people will just take their own culture with them when they travel and react adversely to difference, or at best funnel it through their own rationalization, trying to explain it away instead of really thinking it through. This is the difference between those whose minds are defined by and have an uncritical identity with their culture, such as it seems your boss, and those who have the very different ability to go beyond it, ie with their minds grounded in something better, and more abstract.

By the way I have a friend who's been to 110 countries- I don't expect to catch up with that any time soon.

[lukeottevanger]

Speaking to a stranger at all is considered way beyond rude in England: they're a bunch of absolute psychos and sickos.

Cheers, Sean. Though I feel you may be overstating your case somewhat now; I simply don't recognise the portrait of English life which you paint and am forced to conclude that it might be something of a construct of your own mind and neuroses.

[Sean]

Hi Luke, have you been to America? Or mostly anywhere else in the world, apart from say Antarctica with the penguins...?

Not that I particularly want to win an argument here...

[Sean]

Guys I've got to go do something for a few hours- will be back with some 10% lager later.

[Guido]

Guys I've got to go do something for a few hours- will be back with some 10% lager later.

Hahaha. Well you're very English in that respect! I love the fact that almost all situations in England end in going to the pub. Celebrations - go to the pub for a celebratory drink. Bad day, or something bad has happened - go to the pub. Meet freinds - got to the pub, meet new people - go to the pub. I say love, it amuses me.

So many Americans I have met don't drink alcohol... such an odd concept in the UK that people who don't drink are asked if there's something wrong with them o if they are pregnant!

[lukeottevanger]

Hi Luke, have you been to America? Or mostly anywhere else in the world, apart from say Antarctica with the penguins...?

Not that I particularly want to win an argument here...

Sean, I'm not as well travelled as you, but I've been to quite a few countries, 15 or so, all in Europe so far - and tried to speak at least some of the language when possible!  - and never found them any more or less welcoming than England/Britain. (Actually, possibly less so at times, but no doubt this is due to my obvious foreigner status and communication difficulties). There are things about Britain which I despise - some of the same things you despise too, I suspect, especially where popular 'culture' etc. is concerned, but also among other things the very British glorification of drinking (as described by Guido) that you seem to subscribe to - but nevertheless, I tend to find that if you are pleasant to people, and smile, and perhaps don't skulk around suspecting them of all being 'psychos' or 'sickos' they are generally pleasant to you too. What goes around comes around.