Why don't people use their name, or a name, on internet forums?

[Sean]

Ephemerid, etc

The fine thing about a place like America is that sociability has been established on the normative level of society: that's to say people act in sociable ways as behavioural expectation and praxis- which isn't the case in England. Hence I can be the most peculiar minded unsettling person (for instance being with music academics at AMS meetings and having listened to music as well as studying it), and they'll still ask me to join them for coffee/ breakfast/ a walk down town etc. This is major achievement for a society- you can be an individual and yet be included, or at least have a foot in the door.

[Tsaraslondon]

Tsaraslondon


The English are uncommunicative, unfriendly, lack social skills, operate in cliques that last many years and hardly know how to deal with outsiders of any kind: it's not out of conscious choice of course but due to the socially repressed culture they're in.

the English are more interested in small minded bitching and getting the better of the next person.

My God! What a generalisation! You obviously meet different English people from the ones I know. You ignore the example of my English father, who was actually more outgoing and communicative than his not uncommunicative Greek wife. I like to think that I too inherited some of his qualities.

When it comes to social skills, I found that many Americans have worse social skills than we do - at least those that stay in their own country, the majority. If anything, they are more insular than we are. I'm sure I read somewhere that it is actually only a small proportion of Americans who have passports, and many of those living in middle America haven't even travelled out of the small town they were born in. Most of the Americans I met in San Francisco were at pains to point out that their open mindedness and liberalism had very little to do with the body of the States. As one person (American, by the way) I met said to me, Americans are great as long as you stay round the edge. Once you move into the centre  a bit, you come across a very different kind of person. Yes I know I am generalising, but if you are going to, I see no reason why I shouldn't.

[Sergeant Rock]

They were gracious hosts to me, as well, Dave.

To me as well. I remember my first morning in London. My wife and I were on a street corner, lost, reading a map, trying to determine which direction we needed to go. A stereotypically dressed Londoner (dark suit, bowler, umbrella...I'm  not joking) walked up to us and offered assistance. We hadn't asked for it...apparently we just looked like people who needed help. We found that kindness and graciousness to be part of the British character. Perhaps we were just lucky and the people we met were atypical, but I ended that trip feeling quite warm towards the Brits. Now the French, the Parisians anyway...that was a totally different experience and one that left a bad taste in my mouth.

Sarge

[BachQ]

Sean, maybe your social skills just suck.

Utter nonsense.

[Sergeant Rock]

Once you move into the centre  a bit, you come across a very different kind of person. Yes I know I am generalising, but if you are going to, I see no reason why I shouldn't.

As gross and wrong-headed a generalization as Sean's actually.

Sarge

[Tsaraslondon]

To me as well. I remember my first morning in London. My wife and I were on a street corner, lost, reading a map, trying to determine which direction we needed to go. A stereotypically dressed Londoner (dark suit, bowler, umbrella...I'm  not joking) walked up to us and offered assistance. We hadn't asked for it...apparently we just looked like people who needed help. We found that kindness and graciousness to be part of the British character. Perhaps we were just lucky and the people we met were atypical, but I ended that trip feeling quite warm towards the Brits. Now the French, the Parisians anyway...that was a totally different experience and one that left a bad taste in my mouth.

Sarge

I don't think that you were lucky, Sarge. If I ever see tourists obviously in need of assistance, then I too will help. London is a very difficult city to find your way round. I've lived here 30 years and still occasionally get lost.

And, incidentally, refering to my post above, I have only been to New York, San Francisco and Miami and had a wonderful time on each occasion. Comments about the insular nature of some Americans were what I was told by those I met. Every time I commented on how friendly and welcoming people were, they would remind me that I might find a very different reception if I went in land a bit.

[Tsaraslondon]

As gross and wrong-headed a generalization as Sean's actually.

Sarge

Yes you're right, but I was stung into it! Sorry

[karlhenning]

Graciously replied.

[Sean]

I take your points Tsaras, though I'm looking at wider cultural characteristics, which are by necessity generalizations- but powerful ones. Even the most gregarious American will soon be quelled by the total lack of response and fear of people on a bus if you try to speak to them as a group. You can hear a pin drop they're so terrified of each other. And don't say it isn't otherwise. Trying to making conversation in England at a bus stop is a sign of madness- because only the mad do it.

American's don't travel so much- I mentioned that a bit earlier I think. But I'm praising their cultural sociability and fabulous inclusiveness: when people are brought up with outgoing dispositions a curious effect occurs where they intersect at the level above the individual person. Sorry that sounds abstract, it is, but it's a very real phenomenon: you'll find yourself talking to the other even if it's superficial, and you then have a foot in the door and a contact and a friend and more and more...

In England you're stopped at stage one, or before stage one, and you have nothing.

[knight66]

Sean, I am not going to be trapped into bashing other nations in order to shatter those occasionally donned rose-tinted glasses. I will stick with the gross generalisations about England. Of course you will meet rudeness and be cold shouldered. However, it is also true that you will meet with friendly, helpful people.

I am beginning to think you have been watching too many soaps, the most famous of which seem only to manage to move the plot forward via conflict and argument. That is the caricature, just as are your descriptions. If you have inevitably met with the kind of responses you describe; then you ought to ask yourself a few questions.

Mike

[knight66]

"Trying to making conversation in England at a bus stop is a sign of madness- because only the mad do it."

Now that really is nonsense. I have been told some really surprising things at the stop and on the bus. Sometimes, it can actually be easier to disclose things to a complete stranger than to a close family member.

But seemingly none of the counter experiences have relevance to you, well, let's face it, they run up against your agenda.

Mike

[Sean]

I knew I was wasting my time with this. In fact I knew I was wasting my time when I had an internet connection installed (not by me).

Watching too many soaps? Good grief, I haven't watched television since I was about 14- I'm not a mindless zombie.

Knight's & others' responses here simply miss the underlying characteristics of different cultures. Sorry guys, I'm right and you're wrong again.

[karlhenning]

I knew I was wasting my time with this. In fact I knew I was wasting my time when I had an internet connection installed (not by me).

It's the user on your end who is wasting your time, Sean.

[MN Dave]

I knew I was wasting my time with this. In fact I knew I was wasting my time when I had an internet connection installed (not by me).

Sorry guys, I'm right and you're wrong again.

Why don't you cancel your internet connection and go crawl up your own ass? You seem to like it there.

[karlhenning]

Knight's & others' responses here simply miss the underlying characteristics of different cultures. Sorry guys, I'm right and you're wrong again.

Sorry, Sean, you're still wrong.  Apparently you didn't bother to read as others skewered your preposterous Europeans are from Mars, Asians are from Venus babble, earlier.

[BachQ]

Sorry guys, I'm right and you're wrong again.

Well ....... There it is ......

[knight66]

Well, I think the people who either live in the UK or have visited it, have provided the kind of rounded experience that is more likely than the world of zombies you describe Sean. As so often, it is really for people to read and make up their own minds.

Mike

[knight66]

Well ....... There it is ......

Yes, and he is sorry about it.

Mike

[Sean]

Thanks guys, I'm touched and gratified. Hope to be well out of this internet drivel before too long...

[BachQ]

Thanks guys, I'm touched and gratified. Hope to be well out of this internet drivel before too long...

NO...... DON'T GO