Male-Female friendships

[karlhenning]

Diet Coke isn't booze, dude.

[zamyrabyrd]

Diet Coke isn't booze, dude.

It's poison. 
(Aspartame is related to formaldehyde.)

ZB

[Brian]

If it weren't for booze, I'd still be a virgin.

Don't take this the wrong way, snyprrr, but the age I thought you were before this thread and the age I think you are now are 50 years apart 

[karlhenning]

It's poison. 
(Aspartame is related to formaldehyde.)

ZB

Cor, there really were designs! ; )

[Sergeant Rock]

When women get to 'play' Man, and wear the suits, and be the CEO, and the astronaut,... and the 'MAQN', ... there is no other place for a man to go than to play 'Woman'

Nonsense. Just because opportunities have finally opened up for women doesn't make men less manly. Strong women don't cause weak men: weak men (who spend all day on internet forums crying like little girls because they can't get a woman) are just that: weak men  They'd be weak even if all women had remained essentially pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen. Man up, Snyprrr and admit the problem is you, not women.

HA,.. yea, find me a woman with whom I can talk Xenakis,... better yet, find me a HOTTIE with whom I can do same,... DON'T EXIST

More nonsense. The five most serious relationships I've had in my life were with extremely attractive women who liked and could discuss classical music, including the current Mrs. Rock who looked like this when I met her:




Sarge

[Cato]

It's poison. 
(Aspartame is related to formaldehyde.)

ZB

Not quite true: at certain temperatures it can undergo a series of chemical reactions, and one of its by-products will be a minute amount of formaldehyde.

Cherries, bananas, and other fruits will do the exact same thing, and actually produce more 2 to 6 times more formaldehyde than aspartame!  The amount is still negligible.

An urban legend via a panicky conspiracy-theory e-mail was started in the late 90's about this, and I see it has persisted.

Do you know your body is full of hydrochloric acid??? 

[karlhenning]

I knew that! My wife does, too.

[Cato]

Sarge offers tough love, and that is to be expected! 

And he is right, which is also to be expected!

So, Snyprrr, look into the mirror and change what needs to be changed.  Be confident in yourself, do what is proper, and if certain females are too moronic to notice the fine qualities of the rare Xenakis esotericist before them, it is their loss.

Eventually Fate will bring somebody around, but you need to be open to the possibility that the someone is not necessarily your fantasy woman, despite the picture of Sarge's wife, which made my respiration quicken,      and trust us that confident optimistic males are attractive.

Their opposites are not.

[Marc]

When women get to 'play' Man, and wear the suits, and be the CEO, and the astronaut,... and the 'MAQN', ... there is no other place for a man to go than to play 'Woman'.

Nonsense. Just because opportunities have finally opened up for women doesn't make men less manly. Strong women don't cause weak men: weak men (who spend all day on internet forums crying like little girls because they can't get a woman) are just that: weak men  They'd be weak even if all women had remained essentially pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen. Man up, Snyprrr and admit the problem is you, not women.

QFT.

HA,.. yea, find me a woman with whom I can talk Xenakis,... better yet, find me a HOTTIE with whom I can do same,... DON'T EXIST,... unless it's the daughter of someone on GMG.

There's more in life than talking about classical music. With men, and women.

The five most serious relationships I've had in my life were with extremely attractive women who liked and could discuss classical music, including the current Mrs. Rock who looked like this when I met her:

At that very moment, I bet you turned into a very weak man for at least a couple of seconds.

[Cato]

At that very moment, I bet you turned into a very weak man for at least a couple of seconds.

Not to mention that the skies opened, and Sarge saw Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, Buddha, Ba'al, and Godzilla dancing a rumba.

Sarge mentioned that there have been 34 years of that brutal yet willing slavery known as wedded bliss!   0:)

[eyeresist]

Lots of miserably de-masculated/feminized men out there acting like a woman's lap dog.

Josquin? Is that you?


I'm not sure what this "feminisation" of society might consist of, except for men not punching each other in the face all the time.
I dislike extreme genderised behavior in either sex, i.e. I don't care for effeminacy in men OR women, and the same with heavy butchness. This role playing taken seriously is just ridiculous, and the insistence of these people that those who don't partake in the game must be lesser men or women is both stupid and dangerous.

[MishaK]

I won't respond to the nonsense offered by snyprr and abe.

I think whether or not male-female nonsexual relationships work is dependent on how you relate to the other sex generally. I can only speak for myself, but I grew up with a little sister and two female cousins who were close in age. We spent a lot of time together growing up, so having female friends was completely normal. I have two very close female friends from college and one from law school. We have since moved apart geographically, but stay in touch and visit each other. One of the two was literally the first person I met when I arrived on campus. She was in a long-distance relationship and I listened to all her problems. She was more of a surrogate little sister to me than anything else. I never entertained any serious sexual interest in her. She even fell asleep in my lap once during a long bus ride. Nothing awkward about it. She and her boyfriend and baby girl just visited us a couple of months ago. We've been friends for over 16 years. The other one was my then-girlfriend's roommate in college. That constellation in and of itself prevented any naughtiness, though she is quite gorgeous and very smart. She's a bit of a flake about keeping in touch, but we manage. I wasn't as close with her as with the other, but still I was the only college friend she invited to her wedding. The third one, my friend from law school, same kind of thing. It seems to her platonic friendships with guys are the most natural thing. Coincidentally, she's also the first person I met in law school. We often ate out together, went to Carnegie together, hung out at each other's place together, but nothing ever happened. Friends to this day, though she recently moved to Hong Kong, so it's been hard keeping in touch. I also don't have problems with it the other way around. My wife has a very close friend from college, whom she often consults for professional adivce, since both of them are academics. They've been so close, my wife made him one of my groomsmen at our wedding! I have no problem with him. He's a good friend and absolutely no threat in any way.

But it really has to be a constellation where both sides are comfortable with that. If one or the other has more than a platonic interest or if there ever was any dating in the earlier history between the two, it's a mess. I've tried to stay just friends with some girls I had briefly dated or who had an interest in me, but that never really worked. There is a girl, a really beautiful, smart, kindhearted woman, who is still inexplicably single, who had the bad luck of meeting me at a bad time - just when I met my wife - I tried to stay friends with for a while. But when she heard I had a baby she pretty much stopped writing back.

[snyprrr]

Nonsense. Just because opportunities have finally opened up for women doesn't make men less manly. Strong women don't cause weak men: weak men (who spend all day on internet forums crying like little girls because they can't get a woman) are just that: weak men  They'd be weak even if all women had remained essentially pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen. Man up, Snyprrr and admit the problem is you, not women.

More nonsense. The five most serious relationships I've had in my life were with extremely attractive women who liked and could discuss classical music, including the current Mrs. Rock who looked like this when I met her:




Sarge

Yes, no opportunity to show us pics of Mrs. Rock goes unfulfilled, haha. (head shaking)

So, on top of everything else, we have people like Rock shoving it in our face.

[karlhenning]

That's Taliban talk, buddy.

[Brian]

Yes, no opportunity to show us pics of Mrs. Rock goes unfulfilled, haha. (head shaking)

So, on top of everything else, we have people like Rock shoving it in our face.

Oh, the hell with you. Sergeant Rock is [in the context of this discussion] living the dream. I mean, part of it might be that we all get to say hello to Mrs. Rock (that smile could light a home), but the point is - how do you think Sarge ended up with Mrs. Rock?

He didn't just find her on the doorstep; he didn't buy or steal her; he didn't build a fembot in his basement. Granted, it is very hard to find a beautiful woman who loves Xenakis. But how hard are you trying? What Sarge is grabbing you by the shoulders and shouting is, "It can be done." And you have the chutzpah to resent him for that?

[EDIT: I hope this is the rudest post I ever write on GMG. Sorry, guys  ]

[snyprrr]

Don't take this the wrong way, snyprrr, but the age I thought you were before this thread and the age I think you are now are 50 years apart 

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh ...NNNNOOOOOOOO ... I... have so... failed you... Brian. What if I told you that my dog wrote that last Post? I so want to be an old man in your eyes!! Go... go now... and find yourself another mentor. I'll miss you.

[Sergeant Rock]

Yes, no opportunity to show us pics of Mrs. Rock goes unfulfilled, haha. (head shaking)

When it's relevant to the conversation, yes, I leap at the opportunity    You and JdP have a lot in common, I see.

So, on top of everything else, we have people like Rock shoving it in our face.

Someone needed to correct your pigheaded assertion that beautiful women aren't interested in classical music. Mission accomplished.

Sarge

[Cato]

What Sarge is grabbing you by the shoulders and shouting is, "It can be done."

Cato will gladly smack you in the face a couple of times to wake you up as well!   0:)

They will not be Sugar Smacks either!   

Again, you do not need to be a stereotype: neither do you need to be "normal."  You need to determine who you are, and emphasize every day your positive qualities.  You will be happier for it.

When my very hard-headed, practical-minded, no-nonsense, and yes, beautiful (future) wife met me in graduate school, I was an eccentric composer who spent hours creating quarter-tone cantatas and other such works, which I knew would interest about 17 people on the planet.

But I was also more than that, which she (obviously) recognized and liked, and any eccentricities or annoyances were outweighed by other positive qualities.

John Wayne went through 3 marriages and a few affairs, and drank too much at times.  Ultimately he is described as a very nice, generous man who was fun to work with.  His less than admirable behavior at times meant that he was shooting himself in the foot and spoiling a present happiness.

You might not be John Wayne physically, but you can emulate his positive qualities, and use his mistakes as a lesson on what not to do.

If you are unhappy with the way things are, then change the way things are! 

[snyprrr]

Oh, the hell with you. Sergeant Rock is [in the context of this discussion] living the dream. I mean, part of it might be that we all get to say hello to Mrs. Rock (that smile could light a home), but the point is - how do you think Sarge ended up with Mrs. Rock?

He didn't just find her on the doorstep; he didn't buy or steal her; he didn't build a fembot in his basement. Granted, it is very hard to find a beautiful woman who loves Xenakis. But how hard are you trying? What Sarge is grabbing you by the shoulders and shouting is, "It can be done." And you have the chutzpah to resent him for that?

[EDIT: I hope this is the rudest post I ever write on GMG. Sorry, guys  ]

How do you know?

Thinking back, everyone BUT my ex-wife 'fell' into my lap, so to speak.


But, I'm just being a 'John Cage' here, Brian,... it appears you are in a serious mood this morning,... I'm just soothing the pain by making a little fun.

"Getting laid' is just an all encompassing term that I use to mean 'someone likes me'. Hey, if someone 'likes' you, that's as good as sex in my book!!


I will still maintain that NONE of you know a hottie who likes 'Xenakis' (all encompassing term for the 'hard' stuff). And... I mean hottie! I'm so sure Gertrude Stein could hang,... but ,...yea,...no...

Sorry, but when I want rough lines and jagged edges, I turn to music,... when I want smooth lines with no edges, I look for a woman.

There are just no roles today. Everyone wants to be the 'star', no one wants to be a 'character actor'.

Remember, the dowry USED to be given to the man, because the man WAS the 'catch'. ok, now I've started ranting...


Can't we all just get along?


ugh... now I'M getting depressed ...


Look, I live near Peabody Conservatory. What should I do? Should I put up a 'Looking for Ms. Goodbar' sign on the Personals board?

btw- I've never even met a woman who has musical talent. I'm just saying that I'VE never met/been with one. I sooo believe that a little musical brain power would make all the difference. At least then we'd have SOMETHING between us besides all the hurdles. (and, it'd be nice to have someone to sing harmony with!) However, all the non-classical female types I've known have been a little on the 'unicorn rainbow' side of things, so I definitely think a classical background is what's needed.


oh, I so want to talk about my pain all day,... me me me... this Thread will surely be my downfall if there is no intervention

To all who have a partner: give it to 'em once, real good, for me! When they ask what all the fuss is about, tell 'em you're doin' it for the Gipp... I mean, 'Snipper' (though, I hope you all know that it's pronounced 'sniper', like the guy who shoots people (cause he can't get laid??, haha)... oy vey Cato, hold off on the diagnosis, haha).

snyprrr,... like the band 'Stryper', haha ( I have a feeling you're all getting this for the first time,... will one "i" change your opinion of me? (probably make it worse, haha)...


ok, enough therapy for one day, gotta go to work (yes, I know, the poor fools)...

[snyprrr]

When it's relevant to the conversation, yes, I leap at the opportunity    You and JdP have a lot in common, I see.

Someone needed to correct your pigheaded assertion that beautiful women aren't interested in classical music. Mission accomplished.

Sarge

STE-E-E-E-ELLLLLLLLLAAA!!!!! (on knees, hands grasping the heavens)