The Dating Thread

[Henk]

So maybe I'll just stick to being straightforward at first and then if she says no I'll go on about how the guys that weren't interested in her are crazy. Just something, anything so there's no awkward silence.

What about, "So I have a question for you. Would you be surprised if I told you I liked you?" and proceed to say how she'd be a great girlfriend/date/whatever or maybe just ask if she'd be interested in dating me. Idk, just an idea for now... easy to tell I'm not good at this. 

You are copying me, man!..

Kidding, serious I really hope it's gonna work for you. And for her as well.

[Henk]

Sorry for that remark, Greg. Asking a playful question is a good way I think.

[ibanezmonster]

You are copying me, man!.. It's good, Greg, you have done your homework, now the mark she's gonna give you.

Kidding, serious I really hope it's gonna work for you. And for her as well.

Thanks... yeah, I thought you made a good point which is why I tried to think of a better way of asking.

Sorry for that remark, Greg. Asking a playful question is a good way I think.

True, it sure beats "will you go out with me?" I'm sure we'll both be laughing when I say it.

[ibanezmonster]

It's been over 2 weeks now... getting sick of this. Possibly will see her after 7 tonight, but she says she'd work later if she could because she needs the money for her car repairs. Work is too busy now to even have a conversation with anyone.

So, whatever. Just going to put this out of mind and focus on other stuff. Not going to hold my breath for another chance to just sit down and talk with her for a few minutes.

[ibanezmonster]

I have a question... 

[ibanezmonster]

I deleted that last post. If anyone sees it, please don't comment on it. Thought it was in poor taste for a public forum.

[ibanezmonster]

Odds are... slim.
Just talked to her for about half an hour, and part of the time she was talking to some little kid that was with her. I could overhear her talking and I think she was looking at my facebook when saying "no, I'm not into him, I guess I'm too picky when it comes to guys." There's a chance she was talking about someone else, but odds are she was talking about me.

I might just change my question to "I'm curious about what you saw in that loser you dated before but not in me?"

So, again, how do people get into relationships? There's still literally nothing I can do right now. My only idea is asking if she has any friends...

[Mirror Image]

Odds are... slim.
Just talked to her for about half an hour, and part of the time she was talking to some little kid that was with her. I could overhear her talking and I think she was looking at my facebook when saying "no, I'm not into him, I guess I'm too picky when it comes to guys." There's a chance she was talking about someone else, but odds are she was talking about me.

I might just change my question to "I'm curious about what you saw in that loser you dated before but not in me?"

So, again, how do people get into relationships? There's still literally nothing I can do right now. My only idea is asking if she has any friends...

You talked to her for half an hour and you didn't ask her out? Man, Greg, you're killing me here! You're analyzing this thing to death. Next time you see her, grab her hand, and pull her closer to you, and then tell her how you feel, which includes asking her out. You've got to be more assertive and, again, have more confidence in yourself.

[ibanezmonster]

You talked to her for half an hour and you didn't ask her out? Man, Greg, you're killing me here! You're analyzing this thing to death. Next time you see her, grab her hand, and pull her closer to you, and then tell her how you feel, which includes asking her out. You've got to be more assertive and, again, have more confidence in yourself.

Looks like I forgot to write "on the phone." I wouldn't ask someone out on the phone.

[Mirror Image]

Looks like I forgot to write "on the phone." I wouldn't ask someone out on the phone.

When will you actually see her again? That's the question.

[ibanezmonster]

When will you actually see her again? That's the question.

Ugh.

Today was my day off and she worked over to cover her car repair costs. She called me when she got home. My next day off is next Monday. I'd hang out with her at night if she wanted to, though.

I'm getting no flirty vibes from her at all. I'm just going to be honest and tell that I've been single my whole life and could use a change of pace, so if she has any friends that might be interested to let me know. She would have expressed interest by now if she were really interested.

[Mirror Image]

Ugh.

Today was my day off and she worked over to cover her car repair costs. She called me when she got home. My next day off is next Monday. I'd hang out with her at night if she wanted to, though.

I'm getting no flirty vibes from her at all. I'm just going to be honest and tell that I've been single my whole life and could use a change of pace, so if she has any friends that might be interested to let me know. She would have expressed interest by now if she were really interested.

Telling her you've been single your whole life isn't going to win her over and what it sounds like to me is you're giving up. Why did she call you whenever she got home? Was she returning a call?

[ibanezmonster]

Telling her you've been single your whole life isn't going to win her over and what it sounds like to me is you're giving up. Why did she call you whenever she got home? Was she returning a call?

Yeah, at this point I'm about 95% sure she just wants to be friends.

It would just be nice to have someone that you can be open with about that and could probably help. My guy friends are pretty useless with this- always nothing going on for them, either. She's told me in detail about her previous relationships and I never offered any information about myself. I could always still ask if she's interested, but since it'll almost certainly be a no, that'll allow me to be okay offering that information.

I guess she called because I called her earlier and she likes talking to someone before bed.

[Mirror Image]

Yeah, at this point I'm about 95% sure she just wants to be friends.

It would just be nice to have someone that you can be open with about that and could probably help. My guy friends are pretty useless with this- always nothing going on for them, either. She's told me in detail about her previous relationships and I never offered any information about myself. I could always still ask if she's interested, but since it'll almost certainly be a no, that'll allow me to be okay offering that information.

I guess she called because I called her earlier and she likes talking to someone before bed.

How do you know with any certainty that she will say 'no' if you don't ask? Sounds like you're setting yourself up for failure. Again, the lack of self-confidence is apparent and this really is a turn-off for women. Be a damn man and ask her out already! Quit backing out every time the opportunity presents itself or stop making excuses as to why you haven't asked her out yet.

[Mirror Image]

Let me say this, remember that Pakistani woman I liked that I was telling you about? It took a lot out of me to tell her how I felt, but I'm glad I did and I don't regret it even though the end result wasn't a satisfactory one. At least I told her and was honest with how I felt about her. The only thing I gained from this was knowing that I did what I had to do in order to relieve myself. Courage, confidence, and assertiveness are the necessary requirements for asking a woman out. Time is not on your side here, which is why you need to act quickly.

[Artem]

Mirror Image is right. Time is short. By the time you make up a plan to approach her she may not be there any more. Are you very afraid of being rejected?

[jochanaan]

...She called me when she got home....

That, my friend, is a positive sign!  Very. If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have made the effort.

When I said "be nonchalant," that does not preclude being direct.

[ibanezmonster]

That, my friend, is a positive sign!  Very. If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have made the effort.

One thing I've learned from another girl I used to be interested in is to never give importance to "signs." That girl used to randomly say that she loved me and would text me when she had boyfriend issues. Never meant anything.

How do you know with any certainty that she will say 'no' if you don't ask? Sounds like you're setting yourself up for failure. Again, the lack of self-confidence is apparent and this really is a turn-off for women. Be a damn man and ask her out already! Quit backing out every time the opportunity presents itself or stop making excuses as to why you haven't asked her out yet.

I don't think confidence has anything to do with it. I don't exactly lack it. There's a difference between being confident (which I am) and being confident that someone will like you.

At this point, I'll ask but don't care how I'll go about it. Just next time we hang out, however it comes out. And if she really liked me, it wouldn't matter how I asked.

[Sergeant Rock]

And if she really liked me, it wouldn't matter how I asked.

The first intelligent thing you've ever said on this thread 

Sarge

[Karl Henning]

The first intelligent thing you've ever said on this thread 

Sarge

(* chortle *)