The Dating Thread

[Mirror Image]

Okay, so this girl at work (who touched my face) is such a flake. One day she's talking to me, the next she's not. I'm done. The ball is in her court if she wants me to take her seriously. I'm tired of being the one who initiates everything. I'm the one who approaches her, I'm the one who texts her, etc. Why must I be the one doing all the work? If she's genuinely interested in me, then she'll want to talk to me, which includes approaching me and texting me. Anyway, now back to music and some 'me time'.

[ibanezmonster]

Okay, so this girl at work (who touched my face) is such a flake. One day she's talking to me, the next she's not. I'm done. The ball is in her court if she wants me to take her seriously. I'm tired of being the one who initiates everything. I'm the one who approaches her, I'm the one who texts her, etc. Why must I be the one doing all the work? If she's genuinely interested in me, then she'll want to talk to me, which includes approaching me and texting me. Anyway, now back to music and some 'me time'.

Ha, I understand 100%.

[Mirror Image]

Ha, I understand 100%.

I knew you could sympathize with me here. Anyway, it's just a frustrating situation. It's okay, though, because if she doesn't text me tomorrow or Monday, I'm completely done with her and will just start ignoring her, which won't be anything new for me. I'm good at ignoring people I don't want anything to do with.

[jochanaan]

Okay, so this girl at work (who touched my face) is such a flake. One day she's talking to me, the next she's not. I'm done. The ball is in her court if she wants me to take her seriously. I'm tired of being the one who initiates everything. I'm the one who approaches her, I'm the one who texts her, etc. Why must I be the one doing all the work? If she's genuinely interested in me, then she'll want to talk to me, which includes approaching me and texting me. Anyway, now back to music and some 'me time'.

If she changes that quickly, you may want to look around.  On the other hand, she might be a "Ruby Tuesday."

[snyprrr]

Guys, I have soooo fucked up my shit.

That was , what, 4-5 weeks ago? Fuuuuu....

And no, I haven't even kissed her.

Fuck, Greg. I pursued your dreams and I'm fucked.

I said things this week I haven't said to anyone who wasn't just about ready to orgfasm...

oh fuck I want to ________.



I just couldn't 'play' my part- couldn't 'act' aloof and detached... told her TRUE FEELINGS.... O.H. F.U.C.K.



Last Monday I told her at first, and that was such a very nice night together,... and then she called the next day... and now I feel ill and want to vomit when I think of her. I have a choir of voices screaming all sorts of horrendous stuff at me- (i cant sleep... eat.... shit.... oh, and I've become impotent!!!! and only when she is flirting with me do I feel it come back (yes, I can't fap... it's really really bad fellas).


anyhow- I feel like a piece of shit.... I tol,d her, You're my girl but I'm not your guy.... and she ASSURES me I'm just being silly willy.




I can't stop hyperventilating.





I totally want to get absolutely wasted,... but, of course,... no... but if an eeght ball dropped from heaven,.... viewer discretion is advised here, y'know...





This is what I get ... and I'm surprised?

The things I've done for this Thread in 9 1/2 weeks is shocking and terrifyinjg.



Did I mention one girl I know began talking "money" to me the other day.... wtf???




OH, AND EVERYWHERR I'M RUNNING INTO OLD FLAMES WITH ENMITY!!!!!! I'm running out before they see me....



This is all so horrible, guys,... I feel like I'm dying.

It's a month later.


I can't tell you how typically this ended. No, i never kissed her.


Guys, she pulled some typical "girl moves",... got reeeal typical there... she plays the game where she Always Wins,... never wrong...


I told this woman (good) stuff I never even said to my ex-wife. She ate every bit of my attention, wiped her mouth, shat it all back on me, and then said, "I'm hungry!"


Once again, the woman who could do only good turned 'typical'. I started hearing those warning sign phrases. Ah, it's so heartbreaking when you hear someone pull a boner move- losing respect for someone as their mask comes off.


Guys, I can't tell you what I've been through, emotionally, in the last month, pretty much since the above Post. I think what happened was this woman got soooo high off of my chivalry (and, I was treating her like a goddess- I'm warning you guys, make sure she's yours before you pull out all the stops, ugh) that she 'took me for granted' and--- what?--- went straight for the next guy.

And yes, I was confronted by this scenario in public... I was "dismissed" in public... guys... you had to be there... h.o.r.r.i.f.y.i.n.g. ... just like in school... and on the phone she piled on the ooze, and then came the final blow...

"I am satisfied that my feelings are sufficiently hurt"




I now have to shun all the places I was going...



All the people familiar with the sitch agree with me, even her friends (when they can be honest)- I'm just really sad that I gave my "dowry" away- guys, I really sold the farm to this chick-




---- sniff      honk      sniff



I didn't even tell you all about the drunk girl from my past that called out-of-the-blue during this whole ordeal--- (I just Deleted the next few sentences!!!!)- oy oy oy oy oy




(I'm typing with my only remaining finger,... cut me some slack here!!)



Last night I saw a new girl-( cue 'Theme')








What's up with this feeling of 'revenge' whereby I want to walk into a room of exes with my NewWonderfulGirl so that they may weep and benoan their tragedy in not picking meMeME??

I TRYING to grow up here. errrrrrr...





(hey, snippy----- stop typing) grrrrrrrr

[jochanaan]

And round and round you go, and where you stop not even you know--at least, not until you can take a few deep breaths and a good long look in the mirror.

...What's up with this feeling of 'revenge' whereby I want to walk into a room of exes with my NewWonderfulGirl so that they may weep and benoan their tragedy in not picking meMeME??

Watch that rebound-relationship thing!  It isn't fair to you, and especially not to the girl; we guys are just as likely to unload our baggage from the last relationship onto the next lady as they are to us.  If I knew both of you, I might tell her if she asked, "Watch out for this guy snyprrr!  He's dealing with some bad shit."   Only when you can come into a relationship from a place of personal growth and strength can you experience love as it was meant to be experienced.

[snyprrr]

And round and round you go, and where you stop not even you know--at least, not until you can take a few deep breaths and a good long look in the mirror.Watch that rebound-relationship thing!  It isn't fair to you, and especially not to the girl; we guys are just as likely to unload our baggage from the last relationship onto the next lady as they are to us.  If I knew both of you, I might tell her if she asked, "Watch out for this guy snyprrr!  He's dealing with some bad shit."   Only when you can come into a relationship from a place of personal growth and strength can you experience love as it was meant to be experienced.

I spoke with someone who has seen what's been going on for the last few months,... there is consensus...

anyhow, I have just re-implemented the Avoidance-at-all-Costs technique... yes, I was deeply hurt (I hurt myself because I was being a Gomer Pyle (gosh, aw shucks)), but




oh wtf-?- nevermind---haha--- I don't want to talk about it anymore--- waaah



You can either ask God for a hamburger, or ask God to guide you,- whereby he might guide you to a hamburger-



Hey joch-

you seem somewhat Bible literate, what do you make of the Proverb that says:

Pr. 30:18-19

There be three things which are... four, which I know not:

The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent on a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.


SO- God (speaking through Solomon) says He DOESN'T "know the way, the path, that love takes between a man and a woman? As if, this is ONE TOPIC God is just not interested in getting into, because, as we know, it can be quite hairy?

Personally, it seems ridiculous that I'm batting  .001  over the last six years without some supernatural cock-block at apparently every turn.

I mean, I know He's not into phornication...


Does a woman carry the DNA of every man that's cum inside her? Is that why paternity tests are never 100% except in cases of a virgin?


would you like me to go off topic?

[jochanaan]

...Hey joch-

you seem somewhat Bible literate, what do you make of the Proverb that says:

Pr. 30:18-19

There be three things which are... four, which I know not:

The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent on a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.


SO- God (speaking through Solomon) says He DOESN'T "know the way, the path, that love takes between a man and a woman? As if, this is ONE TOPIC God is just not interested in getting into, because, as we know, it can be quite hairy?...

This chapter is "The words of Agur the son of Jakeh..."  It is not God speaking directly; the Bible seldom is; rather, it is a man speaking wisdom gained by hard experience and communion with God.  What I read into this is that, just as the ways of eagles and snakes are mysterious to non-naturalists and the ways of the seas are mysterious to landlubbers, so "the way of a man with a maid"--that is, the soul-deep mystery of how love grows and binds and builds and makes two into a more complex and beautiful one--is mysterious at its heart and beyond human comprehension (but not God's).  A similar passage is Job 38-41, where the LORD challenges Job, "Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding." (38:4)  The sacred texts here simply remind us that despite all our knowledge and pride of understanding, even the simpler things of life are at their core beyond our ken.

And the application?  Don't try to over-analyze what happens between a man and a woman.  "It is what it is."  Although we may gain some understanding about ourselves from such analysis, it doesn't always do much good in the crunch.  And also, don't push things.  Farmers know that too much plowing, watering, hoeing and fertilizer (read that any way you please ) application will kill their crops as surely as neglect.  It is often best simply to "plant seeds" and come around with a little "water" once in a while.  (Aren't metaphors lovely things? )

[Karl Henning]

"Can't dance and it's too wet to plough."

[snyprrr]

This chapter is "The words of Agur the son of Jakeh..."  It is not God speaking directly; the Bible seldom is; rather, it is a man speaking wisdom gained by hard experience and communion with God.  What I read into this is that, just as the ways of eagles and snakes are mysterious to non-naturalists and the ways of the seas are mysterious to landlubbers, so "the way of a man with a maid"--that is, the soul-deep mystery of how love grows and binds and builds and makes two into a more complex and beautiful one--is mysterious at its heart and beyond human comprehension (but not God's).  A similar passage is Job 38-41, where the LORD challenges Job, "Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding." (38:4)  The sacred texts here simply remind us that despite all our knowledge and pride of understanding, even the simpler things of life are at their core beyond our ken.

And the application?  Don't try to over-analyze what happens between a man and a woman.  "It is what it is."  Although we may gain some understanding about ourselves from such analysis, it doesn't always do much good in the crunch.  And also, don't push things.  Farmers know that too much plowing, watering, hoeing and fertilizer (read that any way you please ) application will kill their crops as surely as neglect.  It is often best simply to "plant seeds" and come around with a little "water" once in a while.  (Aren't metaphors lovely things? )

Last night, again, I was at a compleeetely random place, when someone I knew came in--- "Hey, aren't you seeing so-and-so?" and then when I relayed the story, he came back with "Yea, we juuust saw her at this other place with that new guy, looking like she needed to be in control."

So, I've learned a LOT about this girl from random meetings with random people. She's the kind who surrounds herself with "acquaintances' that she calls "friends"--- probably going back to a Fed Marshall father's controlling---

like the other Proverb chick who "eats, wipes her mouth, and says I have done nothing wrong."

She's been uncovered to be the Charming Sociopath, the Human Cobra. I have been now told by a few that this has been a long running pattern (wish they would have told me that FIRST!!!)


Look, I do somewhat feel sorry for her and her entrouge(?) of deception,--- buuuut, Dear Lord, if it be Your Will, be pleased to work your working here-- by Your Pleasure, not mine. Shouldn't she get a taste of what she's been giving?



It's all Greg's fault.





btw joch- I appreciate your interpretation.

I have to say, though, that during this final stage is this fiasco, when I was truly at my wits end, and asking for Prayers from the most PrayerWarrior types I know- ALL the information I was receiving was coming in extremely "random" ways- all sort of "accidents"-- the kind God seems to specialize in!! I look back, and it's clear- had I gotten 'here' five minutes earlier, I wouldn't have gotten this particular nugget of information- had I gotten 'there' later than I did, I wouldn't have heard from another informant. I get the impression of a Hidden Friend trying to show me things in the only way He can.

Anyhow- uff da... I feel like the victim of a Soul Vampire...Oh Sunlight- Shine Thee Upon this Darkness- Expose the Hidden!!

(why isn't there a hand-on-forehead smilee???)

[jochanaan]

"Can't dance and it's too wet to plough."

That sounds like many of the "rivers" out here in the West: "too thick to drink and too thin to plow."

[Karl Henning]

Hah!

[Mirror Image]

Today, I made a rare Facebook post and here it is:

"Insert foot in mouth. I'll never attain happiness in this life until I learn to stop speaking and let my actions do the talking. We can all talk circles in our sleep but it's our own actions that really determine where we're going and, ultimately, where we end up. That's all I'll say here."

The bottomline: if I want someone in my life I need to show them and I simply need to act on my own instincts instead of analyzing everything to death. Sometimes risks need to be taken in order to obtain what it is that you're seeking.

[snyprrr]

Today, I made a rare Facebook post and here it is:

"Insert foot in mouth. I'll never attain happiness in this life until I learn to stop speaking and let my actions do the talking. We can all talk circles in our sleep but it's our own actions that really determine where we're going and, ultimately, where we end up. That's all I'll say here."

The bottomline: if I want someone in my life I need to show them and I simply need to act on my own instincts instead of analyzing everything to death. Sometimes risks need to be taken in order to obtain what it is that you're seeking.

mmmm.... so, you're saying you're going to be alone for the holidays?


so sad


maybe, when we're all in this Thread together, they can just blow up this Thread with all of us in it? "oh, come heavens, come crashing down on my head!"

[ibanezmonster]

mmmm.... so, you're saying you're going to be alone for the holidays?


so sad

Yeah, but it's impossible to be sad during Christmas because most of us don't have to work during Christmas. And for us who go to school, it's kinda hard to stay sad when you get a whole month off. Sad = 50-55 hours of my life each week during most of the year.

That girl that says she wants to hang out with me goes up to me a few days ago and starts saying that she probably doesn't hang out with me because I don't smoke pot, and she only really hangs out with pothead friends. Ugh.

[ibanezmonster]

Reading this was interesting:

http://qz.com/149342/the-uncomfortable-racial-preferences-revealed-by-online-dating/

The data shown above come from the Facebook dating app, Are You Interested (AYI), which works like this: Users in search of someone for a date or for sex flip through profiles of other users and, for each one, click either "yes" (I like what I see) or "skip" (show me the next profile). When the answer is "yes," the other user is notified and has the opportunity to respond. It's very similar to another dating app, Tinder.
The graphic shows what percentage of people responded to a "yes," based on the gender and ethnicity of both parties (the data are only for opposite-sex pairs of people). Unsurprisingly, most "yes's" go unanswered, but there are patterns: For example, Asian women responded to white men who "yessed" them 7.8% of the time, more often than they responded to any other race. On the other hand, white men responded to black women 8.5% of the time—less often than for white, Latino, or Asian women. In general, men responded to women about three times as often as women responded to men.
2
Unfortunately the data reveal winners and losers. All men except Asians preferred Asian women, while all except black women preferred white men. And both black men and black women got the lowest response rates for their respective genders.
Perhaps most surprising is that among men, all racial groups preferred another race over their own.
AYI analyzed some 2.4 million heterosexual interactions—meaning every time a user clicked either "yes" or "skip"—to come up with these statistics. Its users skew older than Tinder's—about two-thirds of AYI users are older than 35, according to a spokesperson.

[Mirror Image]

mmmm.... so, you're saying you're going to be alone for the holidays?


so sad


maybe, when we're all in this Thread together, they can just blow up this Thread with all of us in it? "oh, come heavens, come crashing down on my head!"

Yep, I'm alone for the Holidays, but I have my parents but I would really like to meet that special woman. Perhaps if I just stop looking, I will find her? Well, this hasn't really worked out either. I just don't know what to do.

[Mirror Image]

That girl that says she wants to hang out with me goes up to me a few days ago and starts saying that she probably doesn't hang out with me because I don't smoke pot, and she only really hangs out with pothead friends. Ugh.

Oh yeah, well be glad you're not going out with her then, Greg. She sounds immature and if her idea of fun is merely smoking pot, then, if it were me, I'd avoid her like the plague. Not that I'm someone who condones it, but I'm not someone who supports it either. If someone's life is filled with emptiness, killing brain cells isn't the answer, but killing your liver with alcohol isn't the answer either. They're only temporary escapes and I never needed pot or alcohol to make that escape.

[snyprrr]

Not that I'm someone who condones it, but I'm not someone who supports it either.

wait... whaaat?


hey, don't bogart that vape, maaan!! that must be some good sheeee... (party at John's!!)

[ibanezmonster]

wait... whaaat?


hey, don't bogart that vape, maaan!! that must be some good sheeee... (party at John's!!)

lol, I was thinking the same thing before I read your post. Maybe John meant "condemns" instead of "condones"...

Oh yeah, well be glad you're not going out with her then, Greg. She sounds immature and if her idea of fun is merely smoking pot, then, if it were me, I'd avoid her like the plague. Not that I'm someone who condones it, but I'm not someone who supports it either. If someone's life is filled with emptiness, killing brain cells isn't the answer, but killing your liver with alcohol isn't the answer either. They're only temporary escapes and I never needed pot or alcohol to make that escape.

Funny how I didn't mention alcohol, but yeah... pot, alcohol, and parties are her three great loves, and it is immature. Other than that, she seems like a decent person and is even majoring in the same thing I am.

As for alcohol and killing liver... let's just say I know all about that from my dad. Luckily he's still alive.