The Dating Thread

[mc ukrneal]

Here's the email i received Thurs 12:30am: (complete AS WRITTEN)



have some balls
Ben, I've done this to most of the men in my life. You were another casualty in my wake. Let's call it collateral damage. But don't feel bad cause your DEFINITELY not the first, and probably not the last. Eventually, the true person comes out in me, that's when I drink WAY TOO MUCH and into a black-out and I don't realize I'm throwing myself at everyone because it makes me feel important. Shit, I got some retard at home thinking that I ever cared about him and told him the same, want to be friends.  no, I haven't told him yet even though he's going for reconstructive shoulder surgery in two day. Anyway, quick remark I never hit the send but I'm doing it now.[/color]


This email was supposedly written on Dec.1, after the last time I saw her- when I was "dismissed" in front of her newest guy- as a response to my email that same night where I whined like a little bitch about being dismissed. (BTW- I assumed that the last part was written Thurs., appended to the email that apparently sat in her box for a month. WHY DID SHE SEND IT THURS.?? WHY WAIT A MONTHY??)


SO, CAN YOU GUY WHAT REALLY HAPPENED? (Yes, I must laugh at my own pain here) GO AHEAD, GUESSS,... I'LL BE BACH LATER...

Really, why are you upset? You have dodged a bullet (heck, a grenade). Someone who cannot control themselves with alcohol AND doesn't do anything to change it themselves, well this is not someone you want to invest in. You cannot change them unless they want to change (and here it is in black and white that they don't; not to mention the way she treats those who are theoretically her closest friends). A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.

[Mirror Image]

Really, why are you upset? You have dodged a bullet (heck, a grenade). Someone who cannot control themselves with alcohol AND doesn't do anything to change it themselves, well this is not someone you want to invest in. You cannot change them unless they want to change (and here it is in black and white that they don't; not to mention the way she treats those who are theoretically her closest friends). A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.

+1 Took the words right out my mouth, Neal.

[Ken B]

Really, why are you upset? You have dodged a bullet (heck, a grenade). Someone who cannot control themselves with alcohol AND doesn't do anything to change it themselves, well this is not someone you want to invest in. You cannot change them unless they want to change (and here it is in black and white that they don't; not to mention the way she treats those who are theoretically her closest friends). A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.

Indeed. Of course the experience is upsetting snypsss, being whip-sawed. But better a quick upset than a lingering disaster.

[Karl Henning]

It's just the pain, of discovering that the Emersons really are the best in Shostakovich, that's talking . . . .

[North Star]

It's just the pain, of discovering that the Emersons really are the best in Shostakovich, that's talking . . . .

Ain't that the truth. Perhaps another 60 pages of so might help, though.  0:)

[mc ukrneal]

It's just the pain, of discovering that the Emersons really are the best in Shostakovich, that's talking . . . .

Touchee....

[jochanaan]

I don't have much to add. I met a few women online and nothing ever materialized, although I met a woman that's interesting but she is 11 years younger than I am and she lives about an hour away. I know the distance thing isn't something to get my undies in a wad about, but the age thing....I just don't know. She seemed to be really into what I was saying, but I have to admit I was being a flake to her when I asked her if our age differences bothered her and she said no and then I said it didn't bother me either only to, within 12 hours, tell her that our age differences does actually bother me. There are just two many red flags if I pursued this woman: 1. she lives in a dormitory (even though she's soon to graduate), 2. she's too young, and 3. the driving distance. Do you guys think I'm being ridiculous?

"In a hundred years we shall be the same age!" --George Bernard Shaw, Candida

[Rinaldo]

Reminds me of one of my favourite scenes from Bowfinger

"But I worry about our age difference."
"What is age? It's a state of mind. That's the way I feel. Who cares if when I hit my sexual peak you'll be 70?"
"I know! It's Bogey and Bacall."
"Who?"

[ZauberdrachenNr.7]

Interesting! Why do you feel this way? I'm not opposed to someone making sense, because I certainly can't count on myself in this department.

My dear good listening friend, life is experiential and an experiment (we are nature's experiment).  No writer of music or of prose sits down and creates the work he envisions - it takes some effort, work, trial and error, and with skill and luck proficiency begins to grow.  Same with romantic relationships - some are even aided and abetted by the time and land mass you sought to avoid.  There seemed - to me, at least - to be an initial spark to your potential relationship - why not give a flower the opportunity of blooming?  I recommend putting this into action for yourself; sure, there'll be jolts along the way but even in a "perfect relationship", there's jolts and bolts and at times, revolts...so is it with almost everything we do in life.  How on earth did we ever conceive the notion that romance to be romance should meet our every expectation and quell our doubts and fears? (strains of A Fine Romance can be heard in the background here) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TKb7JrhJpk

[Rinaldo]

My dear good listening friend, life is experiential and an experiment (we are nature's experiment).  No writer of music or of prose sits down and creates the work he envisions - it takes some effort, work, trial and error, and with skill and luck proficiency begins to grow.  Same with romantic relationships - some are even aided and abetted by the time and land mass you sought to avoid.  There seemed - to me, at least - to be an initial spark to your potential relationship - why not give a flower the opportunity of blooming?  I recommend putting this into action for yourself; sure, there'll be jolts along the way but even in a "perfect relationship", there's jolts and bolts and at times, revolts...so is it with almost everything we do in life.  How on earth did we ever conceive the notion that romance to be romance should meet our every expectation and quell our doubts and fears? (strains of A Fine Romance can be heard in the background here) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TKb7JrhJpk

Brilliant post.

[snyprrr]

+1 Took the words right out my mouth, Neal.

Really, why are you upset? You have dodged a bullet (heck, a grenade). Someone who cannot control themselves with alcohol AND doesn't do anything to change it themselves, well this is not someone you want to invest in. You cannot change them unless they want to change (and here it is in black and white that they don't; not to mention the way she treats those who are theoretically her closest friends). A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.

Indeed. Of course the experience is upsetting snypsss, being whip-sawed. But better a quick upset than a lingering disaster.

It's just the pain, of discovering that the Emersons really are the best in Shostakovich, that's talking . . . .

OK- LET ME finish THE STORY



So, I got this email from the girl. Well, I certainly hadn't pegged her for a blackout drunk- I've seen her in action, and I know my alcoholics, and she just didn't fit ANY profile. But, so, I was shocked. I thought she was just a HumanCobra, but now I see that she is worthy of compassion. And I know how to help in this kind of thing.

So, I wrote a little reply- just acknowledging and offering help.

And I heard nothing the next day. Thinking she may be somewhat ashamed, I (gulp) called.

KEEP IN MIND- this is the girl I allowed to crush me. I saw her last on Dec.1, when she "dismissed" me in front of this new guy. I had written an email whing- she didn't respond to the email but called me the next day. SO, THIS EMAIL WAS PURPORTEDLY WRITTEN AS A RESPONSE TO MY WHINY EMAIL, BUT WAS KEPT IN THE FOLDER FOR A MONTH AND WAS SENT LAST THURS.


HAS ANYONE FIGURED OUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED YET???


So, she ansers the phone with the "why are you calling me?" tone. I'm like "huh?" A few more words, then she says "So, how was your XMass?" At this I balked- "Uh, you remember sending me this email last night?"

No

Sooooooooooo,... here's where I start to see God's plan.... so, it turns out that mon amour has been staying at this new guy's place, has broken up with her drunk ass boyfriend, AND AND AND

WAIT FOR IT

The old boyfriend still lives at her house, has access to her email, and VIOLA!- HE WROTE THE EMAIL (which makes sense if you read it again).

So, this girl was NOT a poor alcoholic needing help, she was fucking having a great fucking time.....

HO-LEE FUUUUUUU.....

So she has that snippy ex-wife-is-always-right tone in her voice, and then all of a sudden I unleash on her-

"You are totally full of bullshit"

"borderline socio-pathic(?) behaviour" (oh, she did NOT like being called 'sociopath'- yay for meeeee!!!!)

she said "I treated you nice"--- me "fuck, you treated me as shabbily as anyone has every treated me- for nothing no less,... you bla bla bla"


So, I gave her SOME of my mind. I actually thought I would get away without regretting some words, but I surely didn't want to give her both barrels, but, it seemed like it was meant to be. This girl is just self-entitled, turning 50/looking 33- having too much fun- and can't be bothered.



Look, at one point I did the "Oh, I hope you get everything you want in life" thing (which you're supposed to do if you're trying to get someone out of your head) but then three sentences later I was "fuck you", so, mm, that didn't quite work.





So....

Before this kerfluffle, I was blissfully unaware of mon amour's dalliance, but NOW, fuck, now i know she's giving what she PROMISED me to this schlub. waaaah


So....

fuck

anyhow, did I leave out any details?




THE FACT THAT THIS EMAIL WAS WRITTEN BY THE DRUNK EX-BOYFRIEND does not mean there wasn't truth in that email. This woman is no doubt a serial flirt-soulrapist, has no real deep feelings (her dad was a fed marshal--- can you guess the power control issues she has??)



IF I COULD HAVE SAID ONE THING TO HER:

"You are the female equivalent of a frat party gang rape."




I am now in full favour of men bringing back the back-handed-slap-across-the-mouth. I now believe this is a man's God givien right, in order to set things straight and show these self-entitled modern biotches... excuse me, 'women'.... that their insolence will not be tolerated. Men have no recourse anymore- a little Rhett would do us good I think.

Men have just lost it, and, for me, I just saw how much I had lost when trying to gain a measure of standing with this self-entitled modern American woman with not a compunction of self-responsibility ("these luscious breasts had NOTHING to do with you falling for me" "my cozy canoodling had NOTHING to do with you falling for me").

:Hell is mostly women"- old muslin saying













OH, BTW:

I HAD SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME YESTERDAY WITH AN OLD 'FRIEND' I USED TO WORK WITH. JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED THAT:



I HAD SEX YESTERDAY

[snyprrr]

SEX


I HAD IT YESTERDAY


SEX


BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN


SEX


YES, THAAAT SEX


OK- DOES THAT MEAN I GET SOME THREAD PRIZE? BEING THE FIRST ONE HERE TO... UH... SCORE? WHERE'S MY PRIZE? (oh shit, what's that on my pecker???)

So, Greg, I have done all this for your Thread. Apparently, it CAN be done,... but, read over my pain in case you wonder how I got there. I had to whoine beg and plead with this old friend- who just wasn't gonna do it- and then all of a sudden (cause she didn't want to be like "all the other girls who tease you") she said, ok, let's do it.

LIKE PULLING TEETH IT WAS TO GET SOME GOO GOO JUICE- FUUUCK!!!!!!!


6 FLIPPIN YEARS



HA- I HAD SEX AND NOW I'M MORE BITTER THAN BEFORE- LOOOOLZ






ok, ask me a question 0:)

[ZauberdrachenNr.7]

...6 FLIPPIN YEARS

ok, ask me a question 0:)

Yowza, Snipes! You could have become a Gregorian chant singing monk and put all that time to good use!  OK, I'll ask THE question :  was it good for you (and her)? Any chance of a repeat?  (AND CONGRATULATIONS!)

[Mirror Image]

My dear good listening friend, life is experiential and an experiment (we are nature's experiment).  No writer of music or of prose sits down and creates the work he envisions - it takes some effort, work, trial and error, and with skill and luck proficiency begins to grow.  Same with romantic relationships - some are even aided and abetted by the time and land mass you sought to avoid.  There seemed - to me, at least - to be an initial spark to your potential relationship - why not give a flower the opportunity of blooming?  I recommend putting this into action for yourself; sure, there'll be jolts along the way but even in a "perfect relationship", there's jolts and bolts and at times, revolts...so is it with almost everything we do in life.  How on earth did we ever conceive the notion that romance to be romance should meet our every expectation and quell our doubts and fears? (strains of A Fine Romance can be heard in the background here) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TKb7JrhJpk

Food for thought. Thanks, Zauber.

[Ken B]

Yowza, Snipes! You could have become a Gregorian chant singing monk and put all that time to good use!  OK, I'll ask THE question :  was it good for you (and her)? Any chance of a repeat?  (AND CONGRATULATIONS!)

Like North Star, I am curious about the man and woman he had it between. Was one of them Moonfish? Is that why he'd prefer watching Andrei argue?

The great thing about watching Andrei argue is you'll never have to wait six years.

[Ken B]

SEX


I HAD IT YESTERDAY


SEX


BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN


SEX


YES, THAAAT SEX


OK- DOES THAT MEAN I GET SOME THREAD PRIZE? BEING THE FIRST ONE HERE TO... UH... SCORE? WHERE'S MY PRIZE? (oh shit, what's that on my pecker???)

So, Greg, I have done all this for your Thread. Apparently, it CAN be done,... but, read over my pain in case you wonder how I got there. I had to whoine beg and plead with this old friend- who just wasn't gonna do it- and then all of a sudden (cause she didn't want to be like "all the other girls who tease you") she said, ok, let's do it.

LIKE PULLING TEETH IT WAS TO GET SOME GOO GOO JUICE- FUUUCK!!!!!!!


6 FLIPPIN YEARS



HA- I HAD SEX AND NOW I'M MORE BITTER THAN BEFORE- LOOOOLZ






ok, ask me a question 0:)

Better than the Emersons playing Shostakovich isn't it?

[Mirror Image]

SEX


I HAD IT YESTERDAY


SEX


BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN


SEX


YES, THAAAT SEX


OK- DOES THAT MEAN I GET SOME THREAD PRIZE? BEING THE FIRST ONE HERE TO... UH... SCORE? WHERE'S MY PRIZE? (oh shit, what's that on my pecker???)

So, Greg, I have done all this for your Thread. Apparently, it CAN be done,... but, read over my pain in case you wonder how I got there. I had to whoine beg and plead with this old friend- who just wasn't gonna do it- and then all of a sudden (cause she didn't want to be like "all the other girls who tease you") she said, ok, let's do it.

LIKE PULLING TEETH IT WAS TO GET SOME GOO GOO JUICE- FUUUCK!!!!!!!


6 FLIPPIN YEARS



HA- I HAD SEX AND NOW I'M MORE BITTER THAN BEFORE- LOOOOLZ






ok, ask me a question 0:)

Congratulations?

So this woman is someone you used to work with but is this a case of completely no strings attached and having a good time or does she want to date you and have a relationship?

[ibanezmonster]

Hmm, okay, well, good to hear, I suppose. 6 years isn't long IMO.

[snyprrr]

Hmm, okay, well, good to hear, I suppose. 6 years isn't long IMO.

oh for fucks sake Greg- IT'S A LOOOOOONG TIME!!!!!!!!

Congratulations?

So this woman is someone you used to work with but is this a case of completely no strings attached and having a good time or does she want to date you and have a relationship?

You know what?- again, it was like flippin' pulling teeth-  but then, all of a sudden she was like, ok, let's do it...

yea, it was vacillating between "nsa" and "I want to be in love"- and I looked at her and was like I'm not going to marry you for sex you crazy _____-


anyway-


yea, it was... no, I'm still in shock...        why that day?... I seek answers... why thaaat day???...




so, there it was,... happening,... and I'm like, "Hey, thiiis is fun" I'm thinking to myself... woo hoo...

It didn't last too long because yon lady hadn't had it in 6 years either and got a bit sore quickly,- but said it was better than expected,... oh, and yea,... your boy snyprrr apparently has... you know,... wink wink,...


ack- nothing like "first" sex to make you feel like a giggling high schooler,...I feel like you're all gathered around me to hear my tale of far away lands, haha,... which, around here, I guess IS far away lands,... oh, I feels for ya...




REMEMBER THAT VIDEO A FEW PAGES BACK,... WITH THE CHART? This girl fits squarely into the "Danger" category: 1) ex-stripper   2) drunk    3) raped childhood    4) "Glass Menagerie"   5) anti-d


So, yea,... uh,... duh,..... she's a few rungs lower than what I had hoped for, but, apparently WATER SEEKS ITS OWN LEVEL,... oy,...




oh,... and the karaoke djs wife gave me her number aye aye aye (head shake)




I HAVE VERY SPECIFICALLY LEARNED NOW TO NOT TALK TOO MUCH. Apparently, if you give me too much time, I start to talk deep shit which women don't go for- they would rather you LOOK hot and DO hot things--- but they don't want you to TALK!!!

and yet they want to be "friends" I now know that that means that they want you to be their gay lap dog guy,... just listening and nodding,... and then, once a month when their hormones are raging, you get a quick 3 minutes,...


SERIOUSLY GUYS- THE ONE THING YOU CAN DO is go out and get some fancy clothes (even at Goodwill),... and if you  LOOK like the Mack Daddy, that's your only job (AND keep your mouth shut).

LOOK YOUR BEST-----KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

and maybe in the next six years....






And yes, it did give me my swagger back- I'm looking at every woman with that look, and they know it, and like it! Yea baby!!

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT?







YAY... SEX!!!!!!!!!!  woo hoo    party time    excellent

[Mirror Image]

Well, snyprrr, I don't know what to say other than best of luck in an ill-intended attempt to earn back your 'manhood' or whatever that means. Personally, if I'm not going to be myself, I would rather not be anyone. I'm looking for something a lot more than just sex. Sex without love is meaningless IMHO.