The Dating Thread

[Ken B]

  Yeah, like getting on Dexter's bad side, rectal cancer, being eaten alive by rats...

Looking back I can think of a couple noes I wish I had heard ...

You are still pre-divorced, right? 

[Mookalafalas]

Looking back I can think of a couple noes I wish I had heard ...

You are still pre-divorced, right? 

  I just mean a flat rejection is pretty rough.  I remember I couple from 25 years ago, and they still sting.  It takes a while to learn how and when to make a suggestion to a woman so that it's not such a big deal. 

[ibanezmonster]

Out of curiosity, I took a count of all of the girls I've known in the last 8 years (post-high school) that I would even consider dating. The total is 17. (I'm being somewhat generous, and only would seriously consider a few long-term).

And if the girl I just mentioned starts dating me or someone else soon, that would be 0/17 because being single for less than a month doesn't really count IMO. (Some girls on that list either dated two guys at once or were in-between 2 or 3 guys at the same time for a while).

So what I'd like to know exactly how many girls one's own age one typically might have to know before they find someone single? Is it 30 or 40, maybe?

[Mirror Image]

Out of curiosity, I took a count of all of the girls I've known in the last 8 years (post-high school) that I would even consider dating. The total is 17. (I'm being somewhat generous, and only would seriously consider a few long-term).

And if the girl I just mentioned starts dating me or someone else soon, that would be 0/17 because being single for less than a month doesn't really count IMO. (Some girls on that list either dated two guys at once or were in-between 2 or 3 guys at the same time for a while).

So what I'd like to know exactly how many girls one's own age one typically might have to know before they find someone single? Is it 30 or 40, maybe?

The problem I'm running into is, yes, I can find a woman who is around 24-32 but she already has kids and that just kind of bums me out, but a lot of people have suggested to me "It's not her fault she has children" or "You shouldn't hold it against her, John." In some respects, I agree I shouldn't let it bother me, but IT DOES! I just can't get past it. I'm not sure if I want children or not, but I know I don't want anyone else's children. This I'm 100% sure of. If it makes me look petty, so be it. I don't care. I simply can't compromise on this issue. Hopefully, there's one woman out there that just makes me happy and emotionally/intellectually stimulated and that doesn't have kids of her own.

[ibanezmonster]

The problem I'm running into is, yes, I can find a woman who is around 24-32 but she already has kids and that just kind of bums me out, but a lot of people have suggested to me "It's not her fault she has children" or "You shouldn't hold it against her, John." In some respects, I agree I shouldn't let it bother me, but IT DOES! I just can't get past it. I'm not sure if I want children or not, but I know I don't want anyone else's children. This I'm 100% sure of. If it makes me look petty, so be it. I don't care. I simply can't compromise on this issue. Hopefully, there's one woman out there that just makes me happy and emotionally/intellectually stimulated and that doesn't have kids of her own.

Yeah, same here. By the time they are 24, almost all of them have kids. The girl I'm talking to now doesn't have kids, but she is... 20.

Speaking of... not sure what to think. One text message I get is just "mwahhh" (what is that, kissing or something?) and last night I asked her when she is free because I'm finally caught up with my homework, but got no text back. It could be any reason, but no reply is definitely the gentlest way of saying you're not interested.

[Mirror Image]

Yeah, same here. By the time they are 24, almost all of them have kids. The girl I'm talking to now doesn't have kids, but she is... 20.

Speaking of... not sure what to think. One text message I get is just "mwahhh" (what is that, kissing or something?) and last night I asked her when she is free because I'm finally caught up with my homework, but got no text back. It could be any reason, but no reply is definitely the gentlest way of saying you're not interested.

One problem I see is you're text messaging. Okay, you've got her number. That's great and a big step forward. You should just talk to her in person and tell her how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, then it's not meant to be. No harm done.

[ibanezmonster]

One problem I see is you're text messaging. Okay, you've got her number. That's great and a big step forward. You should just talk to her in person and tell her how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, then it's not meant to be. No harm done.

I did that already- I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime right after reconfirming that she's definitely single and she said she is certainly interested but will be busy for two weeks (I was busy, too). About fifteen minutes later when I saw her again, she asked for my phone number. Almost two weeks have passed, and that's why I asked her again via text if she is free.

The problem of talking to her about that in person now is that there may be few or no opportunities to talk to her in private because she works up front now. When I saw her yesterday in the break room, a bunch of people were also in there, including the guy she just broke up with. Not the ideal environment to discuss such things.

[Mirror Image]

I did that already- I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime right after reconfirming that she's definitely single and she said she is certainly interested but will be busy for two weeks (I was busy, too). About fifteen minutes later when I saw her again, she asked for my phone number. Almost two weeks have passed, and that's why I asked her again via text if she is free.

The problem of talking to her about that in person now is that there may be few or no opportunities to talk to her in private because she works up front now. When I saw her yesterday in the break room, a bunch of people were also in there, including the guy she just broke up with. Not the ideal environment to discuss such things.

Well, you could always call her instead of texting her and she if she's like to do something.

[ibanezmonster]

Well, you could always call her instead of texting her and she if she's like to do something.

Hmmm... I suppose I could. The reason why I texted to begin with is none of us have regular schedules, so there's no telling when she can answer the phone. Not even texting back "let me check my schedule," or something, which takes 10 seconds, is not promising. 

[Mirror Image]

Hmmm... I suppose I could. The reason why I texted to begin with is none of us have regular schedules, so there's no telling when she can answer the phone. Not even texting back "let me check my schedule," or something, which takes 10 seconds, is not promising.

I think a text message is one of the most impersonal ways a person can communicate with anyone. I mean you need to put her on the spot. Like I said, if she doesn't give you a yes, you can always move on. No harm done.

[Ken B]

I think a text message is one of the most impersonal ways a person can communicate with anyone. I mean you need to put her on the spot. Like I said, if she doesn't give you a yes, you can always move on. No harm done.

Impersonal AND suggests you are not really that interested in HER as opposed to any other prospect. Like you are just casting a net hoping to catch something. Calling is better.

[Mirror Image]

Impersonal AND suggests you are not really that interested in HER as opposed to any other prospect. Like you are just casting a net hoping to catch something. Calling is better.

Exactly.

[Mookalafalas]

Really? I love the idea of texting something like that.  It does seem low key and like it's no big deal--Perfect!

[Ken B]

Really? I love the idea of texting something like that.  It does seem low key and like it's no big deal--Perfect!

That's guy think when girl think is called for (I think.  )

[Mookalafalas]

That's guy think when girl think is called for (I think.  )

You could be right, It's been many years since I had to worry about this type of thing.

[ibanezmonster]

That's guy think when girl think is called for (I think.  )

Not sure, since she did say she much prefers the way guys think. Regardless, I'll figure it out...

[jochanaan]

Hmmm... I suppose I could. The reason why I texted to begin with is none of us have regular schedules, so there's no telling when she can answer the phone. Not even texting back "let me check my schedule," or something, which takes 10 seconds, is not promising.

That's what voice mail is for.

[Karl Henning]

Indeed!  Leave a short, confident-but-not-pushy voice-mail.  It will make a strong impression.

[ibanezmonster]

I'm going to give her one last chance... next time I see her I'll again offer to hang out with her whenever she's off and tell her she should let me know if she's interested in doing so. If she doesn't take me up on my offer, I'm just going to forget about it. Seems the best way to go about it. (Probably should have told her last night, but will likely get another chance in the next week or so...)

No fun, this stuff is...

[snyprrr]

R U really stuck on the goatee??

also, that head shot makes you look like you're hiding somethin' tubby- if you're not, you need to show yo'seff- if you wuz a gurl with a headshot that cropped, I'd be really suspicious of what's lurking beyond the border.

get a pic of you leaning against a wall with that "hey what the fuck I'm jus'a chillin at the hacienda" look, with your arms folded to make it look like ya got some guns- or just a funny MJ like pose grabbin' yo junk with a duck face and a bird flip- "hey bioches- wazzup???"

seriously, just gag it up with a cocked baseball cap and some of yer mom's gold chain jewlery with a Flava Flav look on yer face.


the "serious boy" look doesn't work in this climate of man fear



you don't EVEN want to know what's been going on/not going on in snyprrr's life lately... oy vey... I was allowed to see what Ive been missing---- fffuuuuuu----- YES PLEASE I'D LIKE SOME OF THAT!!!!!---- someone lavished attention on me----- and then----- took some of it back------ ooooouuuuuuccchhhhhhh---- keeping me lingering with "words only"---- how can any man trust words?----- "you don't know how close I was to kissing you" NO, no I don't


aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh


frankly, if I knew I wasn't going to taste the sweet lovins' ever again.... mmmmm... I just can't think like that, it's too hard... one must go on hoping I guess...

razor blades anyone??





man- just being a "normal looking guy" these days is like being a paedo in days gone by. siiiigh




would you like any more of my patented "feel good" advice??